Liberals Outraged To Learn 10% Of Twitter Now Owned By African-American

BabylonBee.com ^ | 4-4-2022 | Babylon Bee

[servo1969]

SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Liberals at Twitter were outraged this morning upon finding out almost 10% of their company is now owned by an African-American. Several have threatened walk-outs to protest the news.

"Elon's foreigner ways aren't welcome here," said Twitter Programming Director Xerxie Vamoosixx, (xe/xir.) "I watched a TikTok video about a Salon article about a tweet from a journalist that said Elon is 'based,' which is another word for transphobic. I have literally not stopped shaking and throwing up on my desk since I found out."

Several unnamed sources from within the company expressed worry that the African immigrant will influence the company to value freedom of speech—even allowing people to send tweets people like Vamoosixx don't agree with. "Tweets I don't agree with make me feel unsafe which means they're literally violence and I'm gonna burn down this building," xe said.

Vamoosixx plans to stage a protest and demand the foreigner take his foreign ways back to where he came from.

Other Twitter employees expressed excitement over the new ownership—especially for the free White Claws now available in every break room.

[servo1969]

[FreedomPoster]

This is accurate reporting, not satire.

[SmokingJoe]

The best thing about all this is watching the crazy far left liberals totally lose their minds. They seem to be wetting their pants.
Chuckle.

[Oberon]

The Bee is always a win. :D

[V_TWIN]

The leftie EV lovers being bested by the guy that owns the biggest EV company out ther......truly delicious irony.

[jmcenanly]

DC has Bruce Wayne, Marvel has Tony Stark, and we have Elon Musk.
https://youtu.be/nfiRd4Y5z_g

[Paladin2]

"White Claw was created by Mark Anthony Group, run by Vancouverite Anthony von Mandl and also known for producing Mike's Hard Lemonade.[4] The brand experienced tremendous growth after its introduction in 2016. Von Mandl told Forbes his U.S. business is estimated to deliver close to $4 billion in revenue in 2020.[5] In the summer of 2019, it was reported that White Claw accounted for over half of all total hard seltzer sales in the United States; volume sales of White Claw grew 275% over the year prior.[6]

White Claw entered the Canadian market in 2020 with limited flavors, later expanding offerings. The Canadian version is made with vodka rather than a beer base.[7] "

Another Honkie drink from the Great White North?

[Lurker]

“Tweets I don’t agree with make me feel unsafe which means they’re literally violence and I’m gonna burn down this building,”

That about covers it.

L

[V_TWIN]

Whatever they are paying their writers....it ain’t enough.

[Vigilanteman]

One of the reasons so many of us love the Babylon Bee . . . it is outrageously funny AND accurate at the same time.

[Magnum44]

😂

[BBQToadRibs2]

I’m having more and more difficulty seeing The Bee as satire, because it’s so damn spot on and true in it’s jesting.

[READINABLUESTATE]

LOL! I think that I hear heads exploding off in the distance.

[twoputt]

“Twitter Programming Director Xerxie Vamoosixx, (xe/xir.)”

Whoever it is at Babylon Bee that comes up with these appropriate names is a genius.

[servo1969]

The greatest satire is nearly indistinguishable from the truth.

[shadowlands1960]

That’s the buzz!

[rktman]

A friend’s son is married to one.

[bobbo666]

I so,so like that they ID him as an Af-American. That term is so stupid and divisive. About time it is overused and destroyed.

The commie trash (aka CNN droids, “liberals”) focus on skin color. So go with that.

[metmom]

Sometimes the Bee doesn’t even need to write the article.

They could make it on one liners alone.

[dayglored]

> Sometimes the Bee doesn’t even need to write the article. They could make it on one liners alone.

Indeed, they have a section for "The Headline Says It All".