Posted on 03/16/2020 11:34:26 AM PDT by Morgana
TAMPA, Fla. (WFLA) – People in Oregon are being asked not to call 911 if they’ve run out of toilet paper.
Over the past week, hordes of shoppers flooded stores across the nation looking to stockpile the household staple. Not only has this put a squeeze on retailers, but apparently police as well.
“It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this. Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper. You will survive without our assistance,” The Newport Police Department wrote on Facebook.
The agency offered a tongue-in-cheek list of alternatives for those in need of their “favorite soft, ultra plush two-ply citrus scented tissue.”
(Excerpt) Read more at wowktv.com ...
Humanity Insanity
Oregon IS Democrat Land. The Guv’ment is all things to all people, and if some Stupid runs out of TP, who ELSE do you call?
I first checked to see if this was from the Bee.
If there is any intelligent life out there checking us out they probably think this is some failed reality show or something...
I’d like to speak with Officer Whipple please...
As a highly intelligent person just advised me;
Use a long haired cat to wipe with. They will clean themselves.
This is sound advice. The mental midgets out there, might get crap all over their phones if they call 911.
“Hello. This is The Department Of Toilet Paper. How may I help you?”
“I AM OUT OF TOILET PAPER!”
“Sir, please calm down. We are here to help you.
“So, is your problem pre or post drop?”
“What the heck does that mean?”
“Ummmm....is the object still in you or in the water?”
“Oh. I haven’t gone yet.”
“I’m sorry sir, but that doesn’t constitute a real emergency. Please call back after you have, well, dropped a load. (Click)”
Yes this is a fire department/ambulance issue
/ffs
How about the non-emergency number?
Seriously? For Real?????
These humans are at the very low-end of the intelligence curve....like in the range of sub-human morons....maybe less intelligent than the neanderthals? Ohhhh.....wait. Yeah, Oregon...ok...nough, said. /s
The TP scavenger hunt is apparently what’s keeping the mentally underemployed from panicking and rioting. Who knew there were so many of them? This is getting embarrassing.
Not sure many people actually called. It sounds like a humor based preemptive message.
Maybe not so intelligent, in light of this quotation from Rabelais’s character Gargantua:
“Afterwards, in dunging behind a bush, I found a March-cat, and with it I wiped my breech, but her claws were so sharp that they scratched and exulcerated all my perinee.”
(I’m indebted to Maceman for posting the entire passage a while ago.)
I feel worse for girls
Sounds like a YouTube prank.
“There are only two things that are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I’m not sure about the universe.” - Albert Einstein
If there is any intelligent life out there checking us out they probably think this is some failed reality show or something...
LOL!!
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