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Converted Trump Now Running for Pope!
Allium-Cepa News Network ^ | February 18, 2016 | Chris Jackson

Posted on 02/19/2016 8:35:15 AM PST by Carpe Cerevisi

In shocking news first reported a week ago, businessman Donald Trump has converted to Catholicism and has now declared his candidacy for Pope. Today's announcement coincides with critical statements Pope Francis made about Mr. Trump not being a Christian. Mr. Trump just held a rally outside of New York City. Although video is not available, A-CNN has just acquired the audio transcript which we are providing below:

Thank you....thank you. You know, when I first started this campaign, people didn't believe me. First they said, he's not converting, he'll never convert. Then I converted. Then they said, he'll never get baptized, he won't want the water to mess up his hair. But then I got baptized. Then they said he won't get confirmed, and I got confirmed. And then they said he'd never run for pope. Well here I am, and I'm running for Pope; and I'm doing very well I must say.

(Cheers, applause)

I don't have to do this, when you think about it. I really don't. I'm rich. I'm really, really, rich. I built a great company; a tremendous company. I employ thousands and thousands of people. So my friends, they ask me, they say Donald, you have everything you can dream of. You're rich, you have an amazing wife, an amazing family, you're very successful, why run for Pope? And I say, you know what? I have to run. My Church needs me. The Catholics need me. I have to make the Catholic Church great again. I have to.

(Excerpt) Read more at a-cnn.com ...


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: humor; pope; trump
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Biting satire folks.
1 posted on 02/19/2016 8:35:15 AM PST by Carpe Cerevisi
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To: Carpe Cerevisi

Desperately trying too hard complete failure folks.


2 posted on 02/19/2016 8:36:09 AM PST by MNJohnnie ( Tyranny, like Hell, is not easily conquered)
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To: Carpe Cerevisi

Trump’s gonna sue the Pope.


3 posted on 02/19/2016 8:36:57 AM PST by Boogieman
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To: Carpe Cerevisi

Trump is actually the anti-pawn


4 posted on 02/19/2016 8:37:15 AM PST by bert ((K.E.; N.P.; GOPc;+12, 73, ....carson is the kinder gentler trump.)
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To: Carpe Cerevisi

You’re right; it bites.


5 posted on 02/19/2016 8:37:36 AM PST by metesky (My investment program is holding steady @ $0.05 cents a can.)
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To: Carpe Cerevisi

You put lame satire in “Breaking News”?


6 posted on 02/19/2016 8:37:40 AM PST by Future Snake Eater (CrossFit.com)
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To: Carpe Cerevisi

He won’t need to build a wall, as the Vatican already has one, it is a big beautiful wall with a door in it.


7 posted on 02/19/2016 8:39:02 AM PST by GraceG (The election doesn't pick the next president, it is an audition for "American Emperor"...)
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To: Carpe Cerevisi

Bite me!

Actually I guess Trump would still be a loser to the Cruz folks since they think he is GOD.


8 posted on 02/19/2016 8:39:07 AM PST by Gadsden1st
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To: Carpe Cerevisi

Maybe Trump will run for God next!


9 posted on 02/19/2016 8:40:48 AM PST by gbscott1954 (Why not a real Conservative?)
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To: Carpe Cerevisi

After that it will be Secretary-General. “Make The World Great Again”


10 posted on 02/19/2016 8:41:04 AM PST by McGruff (The end is near for Cruz 2016)
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To: Carpe Cerevisi

Trump 2016! Make The Vatican Great Again! funny stuff...


11 posted on 02/19/2016 8:41:25 AM PST by DAVEY CROCKETT (Cards are being played, you have been Trumped!)
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To: Future Snake Eater

Learned it from y’all.


12 posted on 02/19/2016 8:41:26 AM PST by LoneStar42
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To: Future Snake Eater
You put lame satire in "Breaking News"?


13 posted on 02/19/2016 8:42:57 AM PST by Carpe Cerevisi
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To: Carpe Cerevisi

These two are going to join him...

https://twitter.com/bennyjohnson/status/700382628034306048/photo/1


14 posted on 02/19/2016 8:44:30 AM PST by Beagle8U (Trumpanzees Lives Matter!)
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To: Carpe Cerevisi

15 posted on 02/19/2016 8:46:40 AM PST by RavenLooneyToon (Trump or Cruz, if you don't vote then STFU and leave the country, non-voters =non-Republic.)
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To: Carpe Cerevisi

Didn’t mean to laugh. My apologies to our communist pope.


16 posted on 02/19/2016 8:47:17 AM PST by Sacajaweau
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To: Carpe Cerevisi

He might make a better Pope than Francis.

< /satire? >


17 posted on 02/19/2016 8:47:34 AM PST by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
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To: Future Snake Eater
You put lame satire in “Breaking News”?

I commented on this yesterday. The Breaking News section is full of non-breaking non-news.

18 posted on 02/19/2016 8:48:23 AM PST by Fundamentally Fair (Is that just what you have written on your "What Trump Means to Me" chalkboard?)
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To: Cicero

Geeeeeesh, you beat me to it. Trump just MAY make a better pope.


19 posted on 02/19/2016 8:48:34 AM PST by DaveA37
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To: Carpe Cerevisi
Biting satire folks.

It's biting SOMEthing, I suppose.

20 posted on 02/19/2016 8:49:24 AM PST by Lazamataz (I'm an Islamophobe??? Well, good. When it comes to Islam, there's plenty to Phobe about.)
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