They’re still having a lot of trouble with Obamacare.
First the website had all these glitches, and now people are getting a busy signal when they try to apply over the phone.
So you can't use the Internet and you can’t use the phone.
And now fax machines are like, "Look who's come crawling back to Mr. Fax Machine." ~ Fallon
According to a new report, more than 700 fake Obamacare websites have been created.
Security experts say it's simple to identify the phony sites because they are easy to log on to. ~ Leno
The Obamacare website is not the only one crashing. The NSA website went offline Friday after suspected hackers broke into it. Hey, NSA: It’s not so much fun when people are sneaking into YOUR computer, is it? ~ Leno
One of the contractors who built the Obamacare website testified before Congress today.
You can tell he built the site because any time they would ask a question, he would freeze. ~ Conan
President Obama's Facebook account was hacked. It was hacked by the Syrian Electronic Army.
When Obama found out about this, he said, "Can you guys fix the Obamacare website?" ~ Letterman
The White House said today that one of the reasons the Obamacare website has had so many problems is because it's so popular that it was overwhelmed. Really? How come Psy's "Gangnam Style" video never had any problems? He got 2.5 billion hits! ~ Leno
Obama said they've had some glitches with the Affordable Care website. I'll tell you something. If you order a pair of pants online and they send you the wrong color, that's a glitch. This is like a Carnival cruise, for God's sake! ~ Letterman
For years President Obama has been saying that no one would lose their healthcare plan.
Now the White House has admitted that in fact many people will lose their plans.
But there is a way to keep the great coverage you have.
Just become a member of Congress. Then the taxpayers pay for the whole thing. ~ Leno
There was some good news today for embattled Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius.
Obamacare will cover all her injuries after the White House throws her under the bus. She is totally covered. ~ Leno
Have you tried to get on the Obamacare website?
Oh, it is slow! It is so slow that by the time you sign up for Obamacare you’ll be eligible for Medicare. ~ Leno
Have you tried to log on to the Obamacare website? It’s slow.
It is slower than my watch during an interview with Paris Hilton. ~ Leno
Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the driveway with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. He became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she had been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The husband called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered. Linda is a blonde, a Democrat, and an Obama supporter, but that could all be a coincidence. The defective biscuit canister was analyzed and the expiration date was from 2008, so it was determined to be Bush's fault.
