Skip to comments.11 crazy Bigfoot conspiracy theories
Posted on 03/17/2013 1:52:10 PM PDT by DogByte6RER
11 crazy Bigfoot conspiracy theories
Whether or not you believe in Bigfoot, chances are you live pretty close to somebody who does: Sasquatch sightings have been reported in every state but Hawaii over the course of several centuries. In the process, a number of bizarre theories have been put forth to explain how the mysterious beasts came to be, reproduce, and constantly evade us.
1. A DNA test proved that bigfoot is a part-human hybrid...and deserves U.S. citizenship! Texas veterinarian Melba S. Ketchum claimed last November to have proved via a Sasquatch DNA sample that the legendary apes are partially human. She even went so far as to insist that the government recognize them as "an indigenous people and immediately protect their human and Constitutional rights."
2. The government secretly removed burnt Sasquatch corpses from Mount St. Helens after the 1980 eruption. Following the disaster, a few witnesses reported seeing federal helicopters carrying off the charred remains of several Sasquatches from the area. Prior to the eruption, Mount St. Helens had already been a hot spot for supposed "ape-men" sightings since the 1920s. In fact, so many of these stories were recorded that a nearby gorge was eventually named "Ape Canyon."
3. Bigfoot is really a caveman. In 2007, Vancouver Island resident Robert Wilson claimed to have seen "what I thought was a bear. I drove down and saw what I could only describe as a large, hairy man who looked cave man-like
with sort of Neanderthal features. As big as a bear, easily." Expanding on his claim, a 2011 History Channel documentary proposed that "[the] sasquatch might not be a giant ape at all, but could be a species of prehistoric human."
(Excerpt) Read more at news.yahoo.com ...
1. A DNA test proved that bigfoot is a part-human hybid...and deserves U.S. citizenship!
2. The government secretly removed burnt Sasquatch corpses from Mount St. Helens after the 1980 eruption.
3. Bigfoot is really a caveman.
4. Bigfoot is really an alien.
5. Bigfoot is really a giant ground sloth.
6. Sasquatches occasionally sodomize domestic cows.
7. Sasquatches appear in the Bible.
8. 10 percent of Sasquatches might be gay.
9. Sasquatches bury their dead.
10. The government captured a live Sasquatch in 1999.
11. Bigfoot calls have been documented and can be easily mimicked.
Naw, Bigfoot is only a weather balloon that looks like an AK47.
I can only conclude that there really is a Squatch in the WH.
There’s only 11?
There was the fascinating story of Ishi from just about 100 years ago...
About the artwork:
Someone had way, way too much time on his hands.
Good artistry, though.
The percentage of “gay” Bigfoot is actually much higher than 10%. It has been estimated by Dr. Arthur E. Phacte, M.D. Phd. of The Institute to be as high as 41%. Further, they have left across the American North West a large pool of raped human males, estimated by Dr. Phact to number as high as 21,235 different individuals. See “LVIIth Proceedings of The Institute,” 1984, page 1. Phacte, Cillan and Mysin co-authors. The articles in the proceedings set forth the then current research results and extensive studies of 2,344 rape victims.
I want the framed original prominently displayed above the mantel in the Trophy Room of my future weekend home in the mountains.
I live in the mountain fastnesses in B.C., too - I have sasquatch as members of my community - there is nothing to fear.
They pretty much keep to themselves and never join the choir, for instance.
ok,thats gonna give me nightmares
I have heard that skinned bears look human - but never did take up the dare to sneek into the old guy’s cabin’s cellar next to ours to see it.
Looking at that photo - I’m glad I didn’t!
Number 2 reminds me of this store of battle mountain, Nevada
Bigfoot injured by a forest fire was taken away and hidden by the authorities