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Mental Health Breakthrough
Future News Now (FNN) | 3-6-13 | Retired Texas Vet

Posted on 03/06/2013 6:42:58 PM PST by RetiredTexasVet

FNN Exclusive. It has been reported that a perfect correlation has been identified between drinking koolaid and mental deterioration and dysfunction.

Researchers have discovered a chemical reaction of treated water in urban areas with the ingredients of koolaid. The reaction causes the koolaid to become toxic and destroys much of the mental abilities of the koolaid drinker.

If the koolaid drinker is also wearing a tin foil hat, the effect is accelerated and becomes much more devastating. Scientists are speculating that the tin foil hat funnels cosmic rays into the koolaid drinkers brain which accelerates and magnifies the reaction. Several tin foil hat wearers had their brain tissue analyzed and their brains had been turned into a material with the consistency of peanut butter.

Studies have identified the highest concentration of these results in urban and surrounding areas in the West Coast (California, Oregon & Washington) and all of the Northeast and Mid Atlantic states with isolated pockets in the West, South and Midwest.

The Department of Health and Human Services has issued an advisory to the Department of Homeland Security. DHS has ruled that no one in these areas should be allowed to purchase a weapon and if they should own one, it should be seized. This rule shall remain in effect until a cure for the disease PBB(Peanut Butter Brain) is discovered.


TOPICS: Health/Medicine; Humor; Pets/Animals; Science
KEYWORDS: be; drinkyourovaltine; humor; koolaid; koolaiddrinkers; might; satire; true

1 posted on 03/06/2013 6:43:08 PM PST by RetiredTexasVet
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To: RetiredTexasVet

As someone with a son with a real mental illness, I hope to see a real headline one of these days.


2 posted on 03/06/2013 6:47:31 PM PST by JaguarXKE (Welcome to the new America.)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Interesting. I imagine it’s much worse if pickles, which have been proven to have a deleterious effect on health, are consumed at the same time.


3 posted on 03/06/2013 6:53:49 PM PST by cyn (Benghazi...the travesty continues)
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To: JaguarXKE

I hope you and he do, too.


4 posted on 03/06/2013 6:58:00 PM PST by cyn (Benghazi...the travesty continues)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Liberals believe slogans and propaganda, even though their eyes and ears and natural instincts constantly disprove what they passionately believe.

As a result, of the “approach-avoidance” conflict, a strong cognitive dissonance results, which, unresolved, can deteriorate into a fugue state.

The end result is a liberal with whom you can NOT reason with or debate. The inner self KNOWS it is espousing a lie, but the outer self continues to follow its programming. The Self-Hatred and “White Guilt” that you see in liberals is a direct result of this deep conflict within, and a liberal will fight to the death to preserve his delusion of correctness, at the cost of his soul.

Believing the BIG LIE has dire consequences for the psyche.


5 posted on 03/06/2013 7:04:25 PM PST by left that other site (Worry is the darkroom that developes negatives.)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Wearing a baseball cap backward allows unhealthy solar radiation to strike the area over the frontal lobes of the brain causing stupidity and criminal behavior.


6 posted on 03/06/2013 8:56:16 PM PST by Mike Darancette (Soylent Green is Boomers)
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