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Entitlement, or Why I'm a Terrible Tipper
VANITY

Posted on 11/11/2012 12:18:55 PM PST by Badabing Badablonde

I confess. I'm horrid at tipping. I dread that moment when that impersonal folder is placed discreetly at my elbow, and I begin the task of checking the bill and scrutinizing the service. I came in for a meal and I still resent the fact that I can't pay for just my meal.

When I was a kid, tipping was different. I remember watching my dad pay the bill, then as we stood to go he would tuck a few bills under a saucer or a salt shaker. When I asked, he explained that our waitress did a good job, paid extra attention to us, made our meal pleasant, and he wanted her to know he appreciated it. That made an impression on me, because it told me that a job well done had its rewards.

Fast forward to today. We are expected to have our meal selections made in a matter of seconds. Hot plates arrive half way thru the salad, and the bill arrives with a convenient line for a diner to indicate the tip amount. Get us in, get the money, get the next party sat.

Because, you see, a tip today is an entitlement. We are expected to pay extra for the basic service. We are not asked if we appreciate the attention. That is assumed. We are grateful to just get service, and maybe if the service was really bad its acceptable to ditch the tip. Waiters assume we will make up for the deficit in their wages. Because, you know, it's just not fair that they don't make the salary that Joe the Stockbroker makes.

I have my share of tipping horror stories. Like the waiter who waited for me outside the ladies room and demanded to know why his tip was below 20%, forgetting that he got half our orders wrong, wrote nothing down, charged us regular price for happy hour drinks, and we had to hunt him down when we needed him. There was the waitress who believed that because I paid in cash she could help herself to my change.

Spare me the argument that its a poor paying tough job, and just agree with me that some endeavors are just a gamble. Do we sit down at the poker table and blame the other players for hand we are dealt? Do we make the dealer take their cards to give us a better hand? Or do we try to make the best of the hand we are dealt? Do we try to make it up with the next hand?

At least in life, we are not forced to fold. We can play as many hands as we can stand, stay in the game as long as we want.

Anyway, I had my lunch today, the waitress performed her job according to her job description, I made no unreasonable demands, and I quietly added 15% to my bill. But deep down I resent her entitlement attitude that I have to pay for her minimum wage choice.

Preparing for Freeper backlash.........


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: mrpink; notacityinchina; tipping; vanity
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To: Yardstick

Good one.
************************************
Yeah, it’s real hard to understand tipping. That’s why I recommend people like you stick to the drive-thru.


121 posted on 11/11/2012 2:50:19 PM PST by kabumpo (Kabumpo)
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To: Yardstick

quite = quit


122 posted on 11/11/2012 2:50:30 PM PST by Yardstick
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To: Yardstick

I am right to stay at home. My home is probably cleaner anyway. And I’m not handing over another dime to someone who thinks I should pay extra for the pleasure and privilege of subsidizing their life choices. If that’s the new social norm, consider me anti-social. And if you are indicative of the attitude of today’s waiters, I especially don’t want to hand over any more money.


123 posted on 11/11/2012 2:54:08 PM PST by A_perfect_lady
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To: Tammy8

“Hubby likes to put no tip on the payment slip and then tip in cash at the table.”

I do that too, so’s my GF. It’s more personal with the waiter. When I was back in college as a bartender and a waiter, both resto/bars I worked for had a pool-share thing going on. Red Robin had it when I was there.

One of my co-workers back then, we both went to the same university listed himself as “cashier” so the IRS will not tax him on tips.


124 posted on 11/11/2012 2:54:34 PM PST by max americana (Make the world a better place by punching a liberal in the face)
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To: Yardstick

Dude, seriously, it’s over. It’s ok to admit we just don’t agree instead of flailing around flinging spittle on everyone. Otherwise your straw man will get wet and never burn properly.


125 posted on 11/11/2012 2:57:31 PM PST by Badabing Badablonde (New to the internet? CLICK HERE)
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To: Badabing Badablonde

He should have three more words after his name. One should be “up”.


126 posted on 11/11/2012 3:01:10 PM PST by A_perfect_lady
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To: A_perfect_lady

Okay good. Stay home and quit whining. I quit waiting tables over a decade ago but I carry with me the memory of that job and an appreciation for the people who do it. Conservatives need to find something else to complain about.


127 posted on 11/11/2012 3:01:10 PM PST by Yardstick
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To: Badabing Badablonde

Maybe you need a European vacation. In many foreign countries there is no custom of tipping, I forget if this is because there just is no tipping or if it is because the “service charge” is added to your bill. In fact, you’ll notice in some touristy places in NYC, etc. a notice to foreign guests that the tip is NOT included.

Nevertheless, in this country is it customary to give a tip to one’s server. Hopefully they didn’t totally s*ck at the job. Hopefully you have some nice places to eat out at.

If they totally s*ck, why would you patronize that restaurant again?

But tipping for waiting services is not part of the “entitlement” mentality, it is part of our customs and the free market. Persons who work in restaurants make an hourly wage that is WAY lower than the minimum wage (about $2/hr vs. $7/hr) because it is anticipated that they will be tipped.

It is also true that in many high-end restaurants servers are required to “tip out” to busboys, bartenders and other staff based on the CHECK and not the tip, so if you stiff them, you really stiff them, because they then STILL have to tip-out to their co-workers based on the price of your meal.

We have a lot of problems in this country, and lousy restaurants might be one of them, but tipping waiters isn’t.

Sorry to go on and on about this, but so many in my family did and do work for tips.


128 posted on 11/11/2012 3:02:04 PM PST by jocon307
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To: Badabing Badablonde

All the cheapskates I have known have a self-serving “philosophy” explaining why they wouldn’t tip, but the inconvenient truth is that they are just cheap!


129 posted on 11/11/2012 3:04:10 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
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To: jocon307

Oh, so they aren’t “entitled,” they’re just “anticipating.” I see.


130 posted on 11/11/2012 3:04:21 PM PST by A_perfect_lady
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To: Badabing Badablonde

Your original post flings spittle everywhere. I’m just responding to it.

The bottom line is that you’re pocketing the leftovers from your cheapskate tips.

What more is there to say?

Feel free to make a counterargument but until then it’s pretty much QED.


131 posted on 11/11/2012 3:09:56 PM PST by Yardstick
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To: wtc911; Joe 6-pack

“Yep, and according to your profile it’s all paid for by us taxpayers.”

Oh dear! Between bada and the guy who stiffed the spanish waitresses we’ll never win an election again!

I can still have gardening and crochet....and cleaning, I can still have a lot of cleaning.....

After the last 3 weeks, I just don’t know.

On topic, we ate at our fave local place last night, the food was delish and they’d been closed for 3 weeks...hubby and I talked each other into leaving a 25% tip to the cheerful young gal who waited on us.


132 posted on 11/11/2012 3:12:13 PM PST by jocon307
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To: jocon307
But tipping for waiting services is not part of the “entitlement” mentality, it is part of our customs and the free market. Persons who work in restaurants make an hourly wage that is WAY lower than the minimum wage (about $2/hr vs. $7/hr) because it is anticipated that they will be tipped.

Amen, sister. I made something like $2.38/hr when I waited tables. It was just understood that you made your living through tips. When a customer didn't understand this we just figured they were Democrats or were raised by wolves.

133 posted on 11/11/2012 3:16:22 PM PST by Yardstick
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To: jocon307

I do remember being surprised the first time I heard some foreign friends complain about American waitstaff. They called them nosy, intrusive, bothersome, and constantly interrupting. This from people who ate accustomed to 2 hour meals in nice restaurants. On the flip side, my trip to post communist Hungary was met with waitstaff that was surly, slow, bored, and uninterested. The food was wonderful though!


134 posted on 11/11/2012 3:16:45 PM PST by Badabing Badablonde (New to the internet? CLICK HERE)
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To: Yardstick

Ooooh, so your response is about YOUR issues. I was going to throw that out there but didn’t want to sink to your level. Makes sense now that you have confessed to it.


135 posted on 11/11/2012 3:22:26 PM PST by Badabing Badablonde (New to the internet? CLICK HERE)
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To: Badabing Badablonde

Oh baloney, you’re another flunky on the government teat. You’ve been here since 2007, but you don’t seem to share any true freeper values.

You’re full of yourself and you scorn those below you and I will bet my last dollar that you lick the boots of anyone above you.

You’re not a conservative, you’re a caricature of a conservative.


136 posted on 11/11/2012 3:24:58 PM PST by jocon307
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To: Badabing Badablonde; All
A little background that may be helpful to this discussion from a payroll professional with 25+ years experience who for a time worked in an industry that provided parking and hotel personnel like bell hops.

Under the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA), the Federal minimum cash wage for tipped employees is $2.13 per hour and tipped employees are defined among other things as someone who earns at least $30 per month in tips. This includes not only wait staff but also bartenders, chambermaids, bell hops, concierges, valets and parking attendants and some other service industry employees. Where such a person earning the minimum of $2.13 per hour as a tipped employee does not earn enough in tips to bring them to the federal minimum wage of $7.25 per hour, the employer must pay the difference. The employer uses the amounts the employee receives in tips as a “tip credit” to offset the amount between the $2.13 per hour and the federal minimum wage of $7.25. The employer however cannot use a tip credit higher than $5.12 per hour. Employees pay income tax and FICA taxes on the wage plus tips and employers pay employment tax on wages plus the tips but can get a refund on FICA taxes in excess of the tip credit. Note that some states have a higher minimum wage, some a lower minimum wage, some do not allow tip credits; but the higher, more beneficial rate to the employee always takes precedence.

http://www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs15.pdf

http://www.dol.gov/whd/state/tipped.htm#.UKAekiqF-cg

So the long and short of it is that your waiter is earning at least minimum wage. However, if you and enough people choose not tip your server, the employer pays the difference up to the prevailing minimum wage – so either way you are paying for it as the employer is going to factor this into their costs of doing business which ultimately is reflected in their pricing.

Some establishments charge a minimum gratuity, typically 15% for large tables or catered events, however those charges are not counted as tips and the establishment can only apply this service fee as part of the tip credit if they distribute the fee among the wait staff. Some establishments charge a minimum gratuity for large parties because of the work involved and that more often than not, a large party often tips poorly (especially, dare I say if they are women or blacks who tend to be very stingy when it comes to tipping).

I would also mention that having known more than a few people working as servers in both chain and very upscale restaurants, a lot of them work their asses off and put up with a lot of rude and downright nasty customers (and women, especially if they are attractive, have to put up with some men who think every waitress must put up with flirting or worse in order to “earn” their tip). The best, the full time professionals get used to it and continue to provide the best service they can to each and every customer. In cases where they are penalized by things out of their control like lousy food, bad chefs, snooty incompetent bartenders, etc., they will move on to better establishments as this greatly impacts their income and a very good waiter at a high end restaurant can make a very good living. However someone working as a waiter as a second job to work through school or to make ends meet may not have the luxury of moving to an upscale restaurant.

Except for very poor and or downright surly service, I typically tip 15% to 20%. I will through some money in a tip jar in some types of establishments like coffee houses for the barista or in sushi places were the service and food is very good, even if I’m not “sitting down” to be waited on but I do not tip for regular carry out except for delivery. I also tip my hairdresser 20% keeping in mind that they often have to pay to “rent” their station and pay for some of their own supplies and continuing training out of pocket. I have also tipped the movers the two times I used them, in both cases they were outstanding and deserved it and I also provided them with cold sodas and snacks after the job was done.

And I’m old enough to remember when my parents used to give a small cash gift at Christmas to the trash men, the mailman and the milkman.

137 posted on 11/11/2012 3:30:11 PM PST by MD Expat in PA
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To: jocon307

Wow, I responded to you respectfully and you lecture ME about Freeper values? I read your post with interest but I can see that was a waste of time. I could suggest you read my past posts to see what I have contributed but I’m sure it’s a lot easier to just make an uninformed opinion.


138 posted on 11/11/2012 3:32:21 PM PST by Badabing Badablonde (New to the internet? CLICK HERE)
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To: Badabing Badablonde

So your complaint is that the American model of waiting is intrusive, bothersome and generally inferior to the European model?

If that’s your point, then go ahead and make it. I’m sure Obama would agree with you.

As for your other point, it still seems like you want to pocket the leftovers from your cheapskate tips in order to keep more of your per diem. You still haven’t given us a reason to believe otherwise.


139 posted on 11/11/2012 3:35:03 PM PST by Yardstick
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To: A_perfect_lady

“Oh, so they aren’t “entitled,” they’re just “anticipating.” I see.”

(sigh) THEY are not anticipating, IT is anticipated that tips will be given. Go back and read my post again. THEY do not chose to receive a base wage that is only 30% of the federal minimum, it is MANDATED they are paid that because it is our custom in this country to tip wait staff.

Come on, you know this....


140 posted on 11/11/2012 3:37:22 PM PST by jocon307
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