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Entitlement, or Why I'm a Terrible Tipper
VANITY

Posted on 11/11/2012 12:18:55 PM PST by Badabing Badablonde

I confess. I'm horrid at tipping. I dread that moment when that impersonal folder is placed discreetly at my elbow, and I begin the task of checking the bill and scrutinizing the service. I came in for a meal and I still resent the fact that I can't pay for just my meal.

When I was a kid, tipping was different. I remember watching my dad pay the bill, then as we stood to go he would tuck a few bills under a saucer or a salt shaker. When I asked, he explained that our waitress did a good job, paid extra attention to us, made our meal pleasant, and he wanted her to know he appreciated it. That made an impression on me, because it told me that a job well done had its rewards.

Fast forward to today. We are expected to have our meal selections made in a matter of seconds. Hot plates arrive half way thru the salad, and the bill arrives with a convenient line for a diner to indicate the tip amount. Get us in, get the money, get the next party sat.

Because, you see, a tip today is an entitlement. We are expected to pay extra for the basic service. We are not asked if we appreciate the attention. That is assumed. We are grateful to just get service, and maybe if the service was really bad its acceptable to ditch the tip. Waiters assume we will make up for the deficit in their wages. Because, you know, it's just not fair that they don't make the salary that Joe the Stockbroker makes.

I have my share of tipping horror stories. Like the waiter who waited for me outside the ladies room and demanded to know why his tip was below 20%, forgetting that he got half our orders wrong, wrote nothing down, charged us regular price for happy hour drinks, and we had to hunt him down when we needed him. There was the waitress who believed that because I paid in cash she could help herself to my change.

Spare me the argument that its a poor paying tough job, and just agree with me that some endeavors are just a gamble. Do we sit down at the poker table and blame the other players for hand we are dealt? Do we make the dealer take their cards to give us a better hand? Or do we try to make the best of the hand we are dealt? Do we try to make it up with the next hand?

At least in life, we are not forced to fold. We can play as many hands as we can stand, stay in the game as long as we want.

Anyway, I had my lunch today, the waitress performed her job according to her job description, I made no unreasonable demands, and I quietly added 15% to my bill. But deep down I resent her entitlement attitude that I have to pay for her minimum wage choice.

Preparing for Freeper backlash.........


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: mrpink; notacityinchina; tipping; vanity
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1 posted on 11/11/2012 12:18:59 PM PST by Badabing Badablonde
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To: Badabing Badablonde

Waitresses don’t even make minimum wage and you are of course free to couch cheap behavior in any spin-dress you choose.


2 posted on 11/11/2012 12:21:52 PM PST by wtc911 (Amigo - you've been had.)
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To: Badabing Badablonde

I tip very well when the experience is good....and very poorly when the experience is bad. But in my area, most experiences are good.

Maybe you should eat at home more.


3 posted on 11/11/2012 12:23:12 PM PST by C. Edmund Wright ("WTF?: How Karl Rove and the Establishment Lost....Again")
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To: Badabing Badablonde

What incentive for good or even great service would there be if there was no tipping?


4 posted on 11/11/2012 12:23:22 PM PST by Gigantor (2012...sometimes you have to flush twice.)
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To: Badabing Badablonde

5 posted on 11/11/2012 12:24:56 PM PST by dfwgator
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To: wtc911

Then I guess a career change would be in order


6 posted on 11/11/2012 12:27:49 PM PST by Badabing Badablonde (New to the internet? CLICK HERE)
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To: Badabing Badablonde

Wait staff is usually underpaid and overworked. IMO.

I don’t consider a tip an entitlement...but earned pay. If I get poor service, they’ve earned less of a tip. If I get good service, they’ve earned a larger tip.

If the food is bad...I do not blame the server. BUT how they handle my commenting on bad food...also will be reflected on the salary they’ve earned from me.


7 posted on 11/11/2012 12:29:50 PM PST by conservaKate (R got it wrong in 2012. We must get it right in 2014 & 2016.)
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To: C. Edmund Wright

As do I. But today, actually applying consumer criteria to the service received is appalling. In other words, I’m a terrible tipper if I don’t mindlessly tip 20%.

Perhaps you should get out more.


8 posted on 11/11/2012 12:30:28 PM PST by Badabing Badablonde (New to the internet? CLICK HERE)
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To: Badabing Badablonde

I have my share of tipping horror stories. Like the waiter who waited for me outside the ladies room and demanded to know why his tip was below 20%, forgetting that he got half our orders wrong, wrote nothing down, charged us regular price for happy hour drinks, and we had to hunt him down when we needed him. There was the waitress who believed that because I paid in cash she could help herself to my change.


That waiter should have already known he wouldn’t get a tip and why. Don’t be afraid to speak up if there’s a problem.

As for the waitress, I’m sure most assume the change is their tip. All of my waitresses have brought me my change and expressed “delighted surprise” when I told them to keep it.

If the service is acceptable, they get a minimal tip. If it’s good service, they get more. If I can’t afford to tip, I stay at home and prepare/serve my own meal.


9 posted on 11/11/2012 12:32:39 PM PST by Rides_A_Red_Horse (If there is a war on women, the Kennedys are the Spec Ops troops.)
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To: Badabing Badablonde

Yeah, it’s real hard to understand tipping. That’s why I recommend people like you stick to the drive-thru.


10 posted on 11/11/2012 12:33:30 PM PST by Yardstick
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To: Badabing Badablonde

I have no idea when the current “system” started, I too grew up thinking tip/tip amounts were based on service received and my mother’s family had a restaurant. My mother and aunt were the family tip experts, from their restaurant experience and both were adamant that tips were earned. If your server went out of their way, or you had messy children or other issues they had to deal with you over-tipped. If someone was a complete fail as a server you could/should stiff them, the idea then was slackers would not be able to make a living as a server and could be replace by someone who was willing to hustle.

At some point restaurant owners decided tips were part of wages (some blame the IRS) and started a system where tips are considered part of wages, in many places shared and not given to the “earning” employee individually. It doesn’t make sense to me- if I get crummy service I would like to know I can give that message in no tip/lower tip. If I do that then other workers that do work hard and go the extra mile will also be punished for the slacker.

At this point tips have no meaning- so should be done away with. Restaurants should raise wages accordingly and it would be a more honest system.


11 posted on 11/11/2012 12:33:37 PM PST by Tammy8 (~Secure the border and deport all illegals- do it now! ~ Support our Troops!~)
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To: Badabing Badablonde

Simply put, you tip if the experience is good. If the waiter screws up an order, the food is horrible, the service terrible, do not tip. I worked as a bartender and a waiter in college, amongst other jobs to pay for my tuition, and one thing I learned really well is one does not return a meal and want it ‘cooked more’ or ‘it’s cold’. Cooks are vindictive..


12 posted on 11/11/2012 12:34:43 PM PST by max americana (Make the world a better place by punching a liberal in the face)
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To: Badabing Badablonde

Well the little hispanic waitresses Wed AM in a FL. hotel were so giddy over their Obama win that I rewarded them with a scribbled educational note and left their tip amount as ‘ZERO’.


13 posted on 11/11/2012 12:35:16 PM PST by tflabo
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To: Tammy8

I almost never go to restaurants where the tip is automatically added to the bill. I’ve had 15% tacked immediately to our bill when the waiter was an a-hole.

Almost never, unless the other party or everyone chips in but I have cheapskate friends and they even balk at it.


14 posted on 11/11/2012 12:36:48 PM PST by max americana (Make the world a better place by punching a liberal in the face)
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To: Badabing Badablonde
No backlash from me.

If the service is terrible I don't tip.

If the service is adequate I leave between a 5% to 10% tip.

If the service is great they get a 20% tip.

If they challenge me on it, they get no tip.

It's my money, for now, and I'll redistribute it how I see fit.

15 posted on 11/11/2012 12:37:18 PM PST by Just another Joe (Warning: FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
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To: conservaKate

A lot of jobs today could be defined as overwork and underpay. And as an earlier poster pointed out, where is the incentive? This is a perfect example (and a few of the comments thus far) of the current attitude of “my life sucks and someone else has to make up for it”. Lets just go the route of full communism and everyone gets standard pay and a waitress can be a waitress for life because she makes the same wages as a physician.

No, I don’t buy it. Jobs that pay minimum wage are that way for a reason. I’m the words of Jimmy Johnson, if dont like ass whoopings, play harder.


16 posted on 11/11/2012 12:37:35 PM PST by Badabing Badablonde (New to the internet? CLICK HERE)
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To: Badabing Badablonde
Maybe you should learn to cook? Or eat at cafeteria style restaurants where no service is necessary. You sound like you eat out a lot.
17 posted on 11/11/2012 12:37:48 PM PST by Mamzelle
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To: Badabing Badablonde
"Then I guess a career change would be in order"

Sometimes the people waiting on you have just undergone a *career change*. For right now, waiting tables may be the best they can get, and without knowing you personally, I'd bet that you would have contempt for somebody drawing unemployment who was offered a job and refused to take it because they thought it was "beneath them."

In this economy, I have to look at someone waiting tables as somebody who is at least trying. I don't eat out anywhere near as often as I used to, but when I do, I engage the server in some idle chit chat when they first introduce themselves. 90% of the time, you'll know at that point pretty much what kind of service you're going to receive and what kind of tip you're going to want to leave.

18 posted on 11/11/2012 12:38:24 PM PST by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
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To: wtc911

I tip well and in cash. I know that the tips on credit card receipts will be reported, whereas cash is not and the servers are assessed at a lower than 15% rate.

If people want tipping to go away, then restaurants will have to pay servers more and, guess what? Prices will go up. Regardless of service. So, I prefer to show my appreciation for good service with a good tip (usually 20-25%, unless incredible, then sometimes 30%, if awful, then 10-15%). This is just me; although, I have been known to go back and leave extra when the person I am with undertips. lol
I do not go out to eat all that often, so my experience may not be the norm, but most servers around here are working their tails off to make money to make ends meet. I prefer to reward that, in order to make sure it continues. I consider my tip as part of the cost of the meal from the beginning, so no sticker shock for me.


19 posted on 11/11/2012 12:40:17 PM PST by ozaukeemom (USA-it was nice while it lasted)
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To: Yardstick

Thank you! You just made my point. :-)


20 posted on 11/11/2012 12:41:06 PM PST by Badabing Badablonde (New to the internet? CLICK HERE)
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To: Badabing Badablonde
The places I go to most often I tip very well @ 20%.

The regular wait staff know what my group's wants are and as we're walking to the table a simple nod of the head gets things moving. They are also pleasant to all - extra cherries for the little one, etc, etc.

It's Hell breaking in a newbie - but the others clue them in real fast.

21 posted on 11/11/2012 12:42:14 PM PST by PeteB570 ( Islam is the sea in which the Terrorist Shark swims. The deeper the sea the larger the shark.)
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To: Just another Joe

Perfect.


22 posted on 11/11/2012 12:42:41 PM PST by Badabing Badablonde (New to the internet? CLICK HERE)
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To: Badabing Badablonde
We are expected to have our meal selections made in a matter of seconds. Hot plates arrive half way thru the salad, and the bill arrives with a convenient line for a diner to indicate the tip amount. Get us in, get the money, get the next party sat.

First, it is clear you have never waited tables. So you may not know that wait staff get paid very little and are expected to make it up in tips. Some do, some don't. And sad for them, the waiter or waitress gets the blame for everything, even those things that are out of their control.

Second, maybe you should eat at better restaurants. The kind of environment you describe is not one that is conducive to service that should justify a good tip, but then it is also one in which the wait-staff is overworked, underpaid and obviously undertipped.

Seriously, tip well for good service and not so well for bad service. Otherwise someone might get the impression that you have a sense of entitlement yourself—that you are entitled to have people work for you for free.

23 posted on 11/11/2012 12:43:17 PM PST by newheart (The greatest trick the left ever pulled was convincing the world it was not a religion.)
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To: Badabing Badablonde

Sheeeech .... what a grouch.


24 posted on 11/11/2012 12:43:49 PM PST by layman (Card Carrying Infidel)
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To: Badabing Badablonde

Sure, unless of course the waitress is one of the millions who have worked their way through school doing so...or a mother whose husband took off...or married mother of six trying to make ends meet...or a hard working person of limited intelligence...or a laid-off corporate employee who would rather work serving pompous, cheap ingrates than take welfare.


25 posted on 11/11/2012 12:44:27 PM PST by wtc911 (Amigo - you've been had.)
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To: Just another Joe
If the service is adequate I leave between a 5% to 10% tip.

Wow, that's pathetic.

It's my money, for now, and I'll redistribute it how I see fit.

Then I suggest you redistribute it to the grocery store and cook your own food. Wait service relies on tips to make their living. And stop couching your incredible cheapness as some political statement; it's a disservice to conservatives.

26 posted on 11/11/2012 12:45:07 PM PST by NittanyLion
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To: Badabing Badablonde
I consider tipping as a way to share my blessings.
I tend to tip generously for good service and if I get poor service I will speak to the staff to explain why I'm not. Some call this a teachable moment? If I get bad or rude service I will explain my concerns to the manager as their business is impacted.
27 posted on 11/11/2012 12:45:08 PM PST by outofsalt ("If History teaches us anything it's that history rarely teaches us anything")
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To: newheart

Exactly. Badablonde seems to think she’s entitled to someone else’s labor.

Maybe she’s a communist?


28 posted on 11/11/2012 12:46:01 PM PST by Yardstick
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To: Joe 6-pack

I pay for the service they give me, not for their life circumstances. If they want a good tip, they should earn it.


29 posted on 11/11/2012 12:46:47 PM PST by Badabing Badablonde (New to the internet? CLICK HERE)
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To: tflabo

You actually stiffed a waitress because of her perceived politics...and you’re proud of it? Pathetic.


30 posted on 11/11/2012 12:46:56 PM PST by wtc911 (Amigo - you've been had.)
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To: Badabing Badablonde

How about the restaurants that sneak a 20% gratuity into your bill and THEN add a line for additional tip?


31 posted on 11/11/2012 12:48:56 PM PST by youthphil
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To: ozaukeemom

As it should be.


32 posted on 11/11/2012 12:48:56 PM PST by wtc911 (Amigo - you've been had.)
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To: Yardstick
Maybe she’s a communist?

Or maybe just a blonde. (I will duck out now before the plates start flying. And I apologize if I have offended anyone who is a member of the blonde persuasion.)

33 posted on 11/11/2012 12:49:03 PM PST by newheart (The greatest trick the left ever pulled was convincing the world it was not a religion.)
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To: Mamzelle

Pretty much, which is why I have an opinion on this. It’s my job to travel all over the US, stay in hotels, eat in restaurants, and be at the mercy of the service industry. I refuse to be guilted into the entitlement attitude that is degrading our country.


34 posted on 11/11/2012 12:50:21 PM PST by Badabing Badablonde (New to the internet? CLICK HERE)
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To: Badabing Badablonde

No.. You don’t have to go out to eat at a restaurant.


35 posted on 11/11/2012 12:51:40 PM PST by Hildy (hen the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser." - Socrates)
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To: Badabing Badablonde
"I pay for the service they give me, not for their life circumstances."
36 posted on 11/11/2012 12:52:35 PM PST by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
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To: Gigantor

The majority odd restaurants don’t split the tips properly. They split them evenly, socialist style... When i tip, it’s in CASH and i slip into the waitress/waiters hands or pocket and tell then it is THEIRS and NOT to share it.


37 posted on 11/11/2012 12:54:55 PM PST by DrewsMum
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To: Badabing Badablonde
"I pay for the service they give me, not for their life circumstances. If they want a good tip, they should earn it."

Is your employment on your home page current and correct? If so, you get paid by a whole lot of people, myself included, who have never received any service from you or your agency. If we had the option of adopting your philosophy, you'd probably find yourself waiting tables too.

38 posted on 11/11/2012 12:55:16 PM PST by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
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To: Badabing Badablonde
It’s my job to travel all over the US, stay in hotels, eat in restaurants...

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Yep, and according to your profile it's all paid for by us taxpayers.

Talk about entitlement queens...you take the cake.

39 posted on 11/11/2012 12:55:16 PM PST by wtc911 (Amigo - you've been had.)
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To: wtc911

No kidding. The poster should just stay home...


40 posted on 11/11/2012 12:56:12 PM PST by stormer
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To: Badabing Badablonde

LOL! Some of the responses are classic. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear I’m on DU.


41 posted on 11/11/2012 12:56:58 PM PST by Badabing Badablonde (New to the internet? CLICK HERE)
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To: Badabing Badablonde

Yes, I think the drive-thru is just your speed. We all need to know our place.


42 posted on 11/11/2012 12:57:38 PM PST by Yardstick
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To: Badabing Badablonde
I refuse to be guilted into the entitlement attitude that is degrading our country.

If that's your stance, then the ethically appropriate course of action is to either avoid places where a tip is customary, or inform the waitstaff up front of your view. Tipping is an agreed-upon social construct and their base pay is structured accordingly; if you choose not to tip yet regularly dine at restaurants then in fact it's you who are acting entitled.

43 posted on 11/11/2012 12:57:48 PM PST by NittanyLion
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To: Badabing Badablonde
You don't want to tip, don't. But who wants your petty resentments over a few coins?

I tip often and reasonablably well, even generously, especially to people I'll see again and again like the mechanic that works on my car.

When I give him a generous but discreet tip he remembers and goes out of his way to help me. I return and ask for him and praise him to the service manager.

I'm not a wealthy person but when I go to my favorite restaurant the waitress's remember my effusive praise and generous tips and elbow each other out of way to serve me.

So don't tip if you don't want to but I like being treated with extra care and treat others that way.

44 posted on 11/11/2012 12:59:22 PM PST by count-your-change (You don't have to be brilliant, not being stupid is enough.)
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To: Badabing Badablonde
WEll, you got one thing right - your moniker: “Badabing Badablonde’

Tells a lot about you, as does your uniformed rant against waiters/waitresses.

BULLETIN: They get WAY below minimum wage. Lucky to get half. Their tips ARE their ‘wage.”

You are the who sounds “entitled.” Entitled to go out to eat and get served as though your entitled to free service at the expense of those who work hard for their living.

45 posted on 11/11/2012 12:59:46 PM PST by maine-iac7 (Christian is as Christian does.)
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To: wtc911

Wow, what a butthole-ish comment.

It’s not our, the customer’s responsibility to make sure waiters make minimum wage. So why do you demonize the customer instead of the business owner?


46 posted on 11/11/2012 1:00:02 PM PST by DrewsMum
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To: Joe 6-pack; wtc911
Is your employment on your home page current and correct?

Well that explains a lot. One of our government overlords can't be bothered to follow the norms of a polite society, can they?

47 posted on 11/11/2012 1:00:44 PM PST by NittanyLion
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To: NittanyLion
I suggest you give your money away to a Democrat.

If they want my money they can give me good service.

I don't believe in giving money for nothing.

Adequate means they took my order and brought my food, that's all.

And as for being cheap, I have been known, for outstanding service, to give a 40% tip on a bill of hundreds of dollars. So pi$$ off.

48 posted on 11/11/2012 1:01:02 PM PST by Just another Joe (Warning: FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
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To: wtc911

Bingo.

As I said, enough folks like the OP and restaurants will pay their staff minimum wage. I am willing to bet prices will go up far more that 15 or 20%. Servers will make less and be crabby; customers will pay more on the bill and be crabby. But, the OP won’t have to deal with those entitlement attitudes anymore. Win/win? I don’t think so.

I still remember the young man at Red Lobster being shocked when my husband slipped him a $40 tip and made a point of saying it was for him and him only. I thought he was going to cry!


49 posted on 11/11/2012 1:01:09 PM PST by ozaukeemom (USA-it was nice while it lasted)
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To: Badabing Badablonde
If it's business travel, isn't the tip "expensed"?

Anyway, I was a waitress and a good one. At the time, the actual salary (not tips) was about a quarter of minimum wage.

I disliked waiting on women because they were lousy tippers. Men tip well unless they're black. I'm a good tipper, but I also demand service and since I was a waitress I know how to do it well. I worked at enough different places to figure out that franchises are the *safest* place to eat and often the local fancy place is a health nightmare.

Work in restaurants, and you learn things you'd really rather not learn.

Did you know that many restaurants require the wait staff to fork over a percentage of the tips?

I also had several customers "walk their tab"--leave without paying. That was taken out of my salary and I quit on the spot.

I do understand the "entitlement" thing, but realize that if you stiff someone they won't see it that way, especially if they have done a good job.

I understand the entitlement thing because I have recently started to get therapeutic massages and was surprised to discover that on top of the cost I'm expected to hand over another 20%. These are trained professionals who earn more than an RN per hour, and I'm supposed to tip them? But I do.

But anyone who expects a gratuity is no professional.

50 posted on 11/11/2012 1:01:50 PM PST by Mamzelle
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