Posted on 04/27/2012 5:48:40 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Trayvon Martin's Mother Files Paternity Action Against Obama
Sybrina Fulton, the mother of Trayvon Martin, the teen who was shot and killed by a self-appointed neighborhood security guard, has filed a paternity action against President Obama, seeking back child support for the 17 years of Trayvon's abbreviated life.
Fulton filed the claim after President Obama admitted, "If I had a son, he'd look like Trayvon."
Fulton explained, "I'd noticed the resemblance as well. So it really struck me when Barack mentioned it, too." Fulton stated that while she is not entirely certain that Obama is Trayvon's father, the statistical possibility is such that a paternity test is warranted.
Some have characterized Fulton's lawsuit as a transparent ploy to tap into President Obama's financial assets, while others consider the claim a justifiable attempt to bring new zeal to police's thus-far lackluster efforts to apprehend Trayvon's killer, George Zimmerman. President Obama has neither confirmed nor denied the claims.
Tell a Story Day
Woohoo!!! It’s Friday!!!
Whoopie - Happy Friday everyone!
IBTP!!!!
This year, in November, Democrats get to vote on Wednesday. Republicans on Tuesday. This is a new federal law that will prevent Black Panther Voter Intimidation of white republicans.
Pass it on.
Once upon a time in America, voters elected a Muslim for president, ironically 7 years after the most infamous attack on America by Muslims.........
Sorry, I know that is more of a nighmare than a story....
Back to your regularly scheduled silliness...
LOL!
YES.....TGIF!!!
Please tell me that is photoshopped.
Pretty cool, though.
Paddy The Firefighter
Paddy was walking along the street during his once-in-a-lifetime visit to New York when he rounds a corner and there’s a high rise building on fire.
Paddy, ever the kind-hearted and resourceful Irishman, runs up to the building to see if he can help and notices people trapped five stories up.
Paddy yells to the people, “I’m Paddy Michael Fitzpatrick, an Irish Fire Fighter on holiday.
I’m also a Rugby Union fullback! If you jump, I’ll catch you!”
One lady, in desperation, jumps and sure enough Paddy catches her.
Then a man sees that Paddy catches the woman and jumps.
Sure enough, Paddy catches him as well.
Then Obama jumps out and crashes to the sidewalk. Paddy didn’t even attempt to catch him.
Paddy looks up and yells, “Don’t be throwin’down the burnt ones...!!!!”
Warning!!
If you laugh at this Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and Rev. Wright will be coming to kick yo ass!
American Railroads . . . the rest of the story:
The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number.
Why was that gauge used? Because that’s the way they built them in England , and English expatriates designed the U.S. Railroads.
Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that’s the gauge they used.
Why did ‘they’ use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Why did the wagons have that particular Odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England , because that’s the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So, who built those old rutted roads?
Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including England ) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels.
Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome , they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore, the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. In other words, bureaucracies live forever.
So the next time you are handed a specification, procedure, or process, and wonder, ‘What horse’s ass came up with this?’, you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses.
Now, the twist to the story:
When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, you will notice that there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah.
The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit larger, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses’ behinds.
So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world’s most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse’s behind.
And you thought being a horse’s behind wasn’t important!
Now you know, Horses’ Behinds control almost everything... including all the politicians in Congress.
Explains a whole lot of stuff, doesn’t it?
Problem with this is that Romans never had war chariots.
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner.
I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.
Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.
I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing..' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.
He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed.
But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
Husband's Diary:
A five putt ...how in hell can someone FIVE PUTT?
“Problem with this is that Romans never had war chariots.”
.
Correct. They only used them for racing and as a mode of transportation, especially in processions.
They did use carts and wagons, and something similar to a carriage.
They ran into war chariots when they invaded Britain, but after a little confusion the Roman showed why chariots were obsolete everywhere else.
A Mexican maid decides one day she needs a pay raise and asks the lady of the house for one.
“Why should I give you a raise?” the lady of the house asks. “Give me a good reason why.”
The maid replies, “I can give you three reasons, Senora. First of all, I iron better than you do.”
“What makes you think you iron better than I do?” asks the lady.
“Your husband says so,” replies the maid.
“Okay, what’s your second reason?”
“I am a better cook than you.”
“That’s preposterous! What makes you say that?”
“That’s what your husband tells me.”
“All right. What’s your third reason?”
“I’m a better lover than you.”
The lady pauses for several minutes, then she finally says, “I suppose my husband told you that too, didn’t he?”
“Oh, no, Senora! The gardener did.”
Not only that, but, they built paved roads so that there wouldn’t be any ruts.
((LOL)) BTTT
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES (That Really Work!)
1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU SLICE.
2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
7. IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
The paved roads did have wheel ruts and all wheels had to have the same spacing. Look at this picture from Pompeii. 
Reasonably good explanation here.
http://www.snopes.com/history/american/gauge.asp
Has primarily to do with the fact that similar problems tend to be solved in similar ways. Also that people tend to keep using basic solutions even after they’ve lost their rationale for doing so.
As Snopes points out, there have been many railroad gauges used around the world, and even in the USA. Standard gauge has something over half the total.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Railroad_gauge#Dominant_gauges
News Flash....
Osama Bin Laden was living with 3 wives in one compound, and never left the house for 5 years.
It is now believed he may have called the Navy Seals himself!
_____
An elderly lady was walking on the golf course on the island of Martha’s Vineyard. She slipped and fell.
Obama who was behind her by chance, helped her to get up promptly. She thanked him and he answered,
“It was a pleasure to help you. Don’t you recognize me? I am your president. Are you going to vote for me in the next election? “
The elderly woman laughed and replied:
‘’You know ... I fell on my ass ... not on my head......
_____
Isn’t it ironic....
The United States food stamp program, administered by the Department of Agriculture, seems pleased to be distributing the greatest amount of food stamps ever.
Meanwhile, the National Park Service, asks us to “please do not feed the animals” because the animals may grow dependent and not learn to take care of themselves.
Some roads were paved only where the wheels would go. That saved time, labor force, and stones in the construction and maintenence. Only the high traffic roads and cities were paved across the full surface.
OK, here’s an old one rehashed.
An airplane is flying across America with Obama, a priest, a soldier with a backpack, and the pilot. In the middle of nowhere, the engines cut out and all control of the plane is lost. The pilot runs back, grabs one of the 3 available parachutes and says, “I’m a trained pilot with a lot of experience. I deserve to live”. Then he jumps out of the plane.
Obama runs up and grabs a parachute and says, “I’m the smartest man in the world, I deserve to live”. then he jumps out of the plane. The priest looks to the soldier and says, “My son, you take the last parachute. You’re young and you have your whole life ahead of you.”
The soldier says, “It’s not a problem, father. There are enough parachutes for both of us. The smartest man in the world just jumped out of the plane with my backpack.”
I saw that Civil War show this morning too.
In a recent FDA study, the United States government doctors who were conducting studies on test drugs administered weekly doses of VIAGRA to an equal number of doctors and lawyers.
While the majority of the doctors achieved enhanced sexual prowess, the lawyers simply grew taller.
The US government researchers are at a loss to explain.
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