Shopper: I Was Banned From Safeway Because I Asked For Large Chicken Breasts

consumerist.com ^ | Aug. 20, 2010 | Chris Morran

[Free ThinkerNY]

A man in Colorado claims he was given the boot -- and a trespassing notice that bans him from the property for one year -- from his local Safeway. But it wasn't over shoplifting or anything like that; he says it was all because of a misunderstanding about his poultry order.

According to the 61-year-old shopper, he recently stopped into the Safeway to purchase some chicken breasts from the deli counter. And when the woman behind the counter asked which ones he preferred, he says he pointed out his selection and said, "I like the large ones."

It's unclear whether or not he had intended on the double entendre, but the man claims the female employee "chuckled" at his statement.

But thinks weren't quite as funny for him the next week. When he approached the deli counter, he saw the woman who had previously served him walk away from the counter, leaving a different female employee to take his order.

He says that this second woman was so rude to him that he felt compelled to complain to the store manager. And that's when he got the earful, he says:

She said, 'The last time you were here, you giggled about this woman's large breasts.' And I said, 'Oh, baloney.' And then she opened up her flip phone and called the police, and I listened to her make up this whole story about me cussing and threatening her.

As he exited the store, the man was stopped by a police officer who issued him a trespassing notice, effectively forbidding him from entering the Safeway for one year.

[mountn man]

I have a very big Dicks... by me. It used to be the flagship store for Galyans.

Was MUCH better when it was Galyans

Dicks SU... er... BIT...

I don't like Dicks

[mountn man]

In Knoxville, our Dick’s is on Peters Road.

Is the cross street Johnson road?

[dfwgator]

In Knoxville, our Dick’s is on Peters Road. Is the cross street Johnson road?

Is that where they go when the Volunteers play the Gamecocks?

[mountn man]

... assumptions without independent support are permitted.

What about breasts?

[mountn man]

Should’ve ordered the bearded clams....that’s right, I said it! Or, the white meat special!

What about pink snapper?

[bert]

Years ago I had close contact with folks in Saudi Arabia. There was a Safeway around the corner. One day the Mutawa came in and went to the freezer where they marked out “Breasts” and in magic marker wrote “Chests”.

Chicken breasts became chicken chests

[GOPJ]

“Kahlua, brandy and cream”

Sounds delicious...

[mountn man]

The Volunteers SU...oh never mind.

[sleddogs]

Speedos, UGH

Was biking last week at Presque Isle Park in Pa. Went past a 65-+ guy with spindle legs and a potbelly wearing bikini speedo swimming trunks. Later in the day I told my 38 YO son to make all the fun of me in shorts sock & sandals, but if he ever sees me in speedos he has permission to kick my azz.

He just laughed as he had seen the guy too. LOL

[FARS]

For dieters (smile) half and half instead of cream. Mix portions of three items (or fourth alternative of Grand Marnier) controls sugar, flavor content for a made to order, tongue rolling tasty version at home.

Hey! RaceBannon, perverted enough for you (smile) good friend?

[fieldmarshaldj]

No, no, no, no, no....

[King Moonracer]

Kind of a red Peter's response there. LOL.

Do you like Fishsticks?

[mountn man]

Can’t stand fishsticks.

[Senator Pardek]

You should see the looks I get at work when I ask someone to “do me a solid”.

[whence911]

Another example of a jurisdiction which has too many police officers on the payroll.

[BigSkyFreeper]

Most modern shows have those chicken jokes. There was even an exchange on Seinfeld, in the episode The Bubble Boy, Jerry and Elaine were in a deli and Jerry orders a a chicken breast dinner and Elaine said "I thought you liked legs?" and Jerry said that he had a pair of legs and said that he preferred large breasts.

[Alamo-Girl]

LOLOL! Thanks for sharing that, dear FARS!

[BigSkyFreeper]

Saying “strong and black like my men” might get you in a little hot water.

I use it all the time and get a lot of laughs.

[sit-rep]

I am finding this a very popular behaviour in the human species lately...

Lie to defend themselves or their views. It is done so easily by some, it is really becoming a scary thing to me. I never look again, or give the time of day to anyone who does it.

[Ditter]

A friend of mine moved to Colorado and met a man whos real name was Dick Head. He could have called himself Richard or Rick I suppose but he introduced himself as Dick Head. She said she was horribly embarrassed the first time he said it.