Posted on 05/12/2006 7:25:09 AM PDT by BJClinton
Woohoo! Made to another weekend...almost.
Silliest wedding cake ever:
You might have read this before, but I think it's still funny...
Creation
On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.
For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said:
"Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh.
For this, I'll give you a twenty-year lifespan."
The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years?
That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?"
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said:
"You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family.
For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.
For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family.
For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.
And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you
After starting a new diet I altered my drive to work to avoid passing my favorite bakery. I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and as I approached, there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed . "Lord, it's up to you, if you want me to have any of those delicious goodies, create a parking place for me directly in front of the bakery." And sure enough, on the eighth time around the block, there it was! God is so Good!"
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming
around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian.
The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that
patrolled the area.
Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm bored and frustrated at being a
prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries about being
eaten"
As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a mysterious cod appears
and says, "Your wish is granted" and lo and behold Justin turned into a shark.
Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old
mate.
Time went on and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All
his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't
realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his Sad plight.
While out swimming alone one day he sees the mysterious cod again and can't
believe his luck. Justin figured that the fish could change him back into a
prawn. He begs the cod to change him back, so lo and behold, he is turned back
into a prawn.
With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam back to his friends and
bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail -
it's much worse). Looking around the gathering at the reef, he searched for his old pal.
"Where's Christian?" he asked?
"He's at home distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and
became a shark", came the reply.
Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain the torture, he set off
to Christian's house. As he opened the coral gate the memories came flooding
back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend,
come out and see me again."
Christian replied "No way man, you'll eat me. You're a shark, the enemy and I'll
not be tricked."
Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed ..............
(Wait for it. Here it comes....)
(Keep scrolling.....)
...........................
"I've found Cod, I'm a prawn again Christian."
did I do it?
I dont know if that's the silliest wedding cake.
My wedding cake was a stock car iced to be Dale Earnhardt's #3 Monte Carlo.
The black icing turned everyone's tongue green.
Maybe I'll look into getting a picture of it scanned in so I can post it.
DOH!
Please add me to this ping list, thanks.
Do you have #3 shaved into your back hair?
I should print that out and post it on a few downtown Palm Springs lamp poles...the streets would empty.
Does anyone really want to be added to THIS ping list?
goats?
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