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FBI Spying on Christians Warranted [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 23 April 2023 | John Semmens

Posted on 04/22/2023 1:26:06 AM PDT by John Semmens

While many find it inexplicable that the FBI would be investing so much effort to monitor the activities going on in America's churches, Sen. Tim Kaine (D-Va) does not.

"Let me remind those ignorant of history that this isn't the first time that Christians have posed a serious challenge to government authority," Kaine said. "Two thousand years ago they were active spreaders of disinformation and disloyalty toward those responsible for maintaining public order. Their chief agitator was so disruptive that it was necessary to make an example of him. But his followers were so fanatical that they remained undeterred and had to be put to death in large numbers in a continuing campaign to preserve the peace."

"The threat of contemporary Christians is even more severe," Kaine maintained. "Due to an error in our founding documents, the common people were given the right to keep and bear arms. This makes them potentially more dangerous than the unarmed Christians arrested by the Roman government authorities during the time of Nero and his successors. So, yes, I think we should be glad that our FBI is taking a proactive approach before the members of this extremist cult act out against the rest of us."

House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) called the FBI's spying "a manifestation of the spiraling descent into madness that has overtaken many Democrats in this country. There are real criminals and terrorists actively seeking to subjugate or kill Americans. Shifting our law-enforcement efforts from them in order to harass and intimidate church-going Christians is sick."

"I'll tell you what's sick," Kaine countered. "It's the religious fanatics who oppose abortion and child transgender surgeries without parental consent. Their efforts to impede these essential human rights is like an assault rifle aimed at vulnerable women and children--the very people that democratic governments have a moral duty to defend and protect."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/342674-2023-04-22-semi-news-semi-satire-april-23-2023-edition.htm


TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics; Religion
KEYWORDS: democrats; dissidents; jesus; kaine; nero; satire; secondamendment

1 posted on 04/22/2023 1:26:06 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 1raider1; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 04/22/2023 1:28:19 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

I think the spy whether they’ve got a warrant or not. ;^)


3 posted on 04/22/2023 5:23:39 AM PDT by SunkenCiv (NeverTrumpin' -- it's not just for DNC shills anymore -- oh, wait, yeah it is.)
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To: John Semmens

Kaine is the biggest fool in the Dem party


4 posted on 04/22/2023 5:55:44 AM PDT by chopperk ( )
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To: John Semmens

Seems to me that Sen. Kaine had best be thinking about getting right with God in his thinking about the churches & Christians. I honestly don’t believe that what he is doing should be considered part of his job unless there is actual criminal activity involved with churches. Not saying that there isn’t any, but I am speaking of real, honest Christian oriented & believing churches. The government must necessarily be very limited in dealing with them.


5 posted on 04/22/2023 6:10:57 AM PDT by oldtech
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To: John Semmens

Seems to me that Sen. Kaine had best be thinking about getting right with God in his thinking about the churches & Christians. I honestly don’t believe that what he is doing should be considered part of his job unless there is actual criminal activity involved with churches. Not saying that there isn’t any, but I am speaking of real, honest Christian oriented & believing churches. The government must necessarily be very limited in dealing with them.


6 posted on 04/22/2023 6:11:43 AM PDT by oldtech
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To: John Semmens

Tim Kaine. What a maroon.
And to think that someone as stoopid as Kamala Harris might have been Vice President.
Oh wait. Someone as stoopid as Tim Kaine IS Vice President.
How sad for the USA.


7 posted on 04/22/2023 7:32:57 AM PDT by Honest Nigerian
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To: Honest Nigerian
And to think that someone as stoopid as Kamala Harris might have been Vice President.

Biden's handlers wanted someone as stupid as Kamala Harris; it's called impeachment insurance.

8 posted on 04/22/2023 10:11:08 AM PDT by sima_yi ( Reporting live from the far North)
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