Posted on 02/03/2017 9:16:58 AM PST by HarleyLady27
DIVORCE AGREEMENT — This is so incredibly well-put, and I can hardly believe it’s by a young person, a student!! Whatever he runs for, I’ll vote for him!* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, regressive, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way. Here is a model separation agreement:
(Excerpt) Read more at theconservativetreehouse.com ...
{1.} Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy. Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides had such distinct and disparate tastes.
{2.} We don’t like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.
{3.} You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
{4.} Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.
{5.} We’ll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel.
{6.} You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O’Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
{7.} We’ll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.
{8.} You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.
{9.} We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and rednecks.
{10.} We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.
{11.} You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
{12.} You can have the peace-niks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security.
{13.} We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
{14.} You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.
{15.} We’ll keep the SUV’s, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
{16.} You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
{17.} We’ll continue to believe healthcare is an earned luxury and not a right.
{18.} We’ll keep “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and “The National Anthem.”
{19.} I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute “Imagine”, “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing”, “Kum Ba Ya,” or “We Are the World”.
{20.} We’ll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
{21.} Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name and our constitution and our flag.
{22.} Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll let you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely, John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, and Jane Fonda with you.
P.S.S..: And you won’t have to “Press 1 for English” when you call our country.
**If you can’t stand behind our Military, Please feel free to stand in front of them! **
I found this on Treehouse under Presidential comments...and thought you guys would get a laugh out of it...enjoy...
Thanks for that. I needed the laugh after reading about right wingers being responsible for the Beserkely riots.
Let’s not forget to ask for custody of the children. They are fundamentally necessary; the reason this must be done is to see them thrive as those before them have done. Instill in them the Grace of God to see them bloom and grow.
And we want the Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls, and the fruited plains. We will forfeit the ‘Esteemed halls of congress’ in order to achieve an amicable divorce.
Love it! But #15......I have a 16 year old Subaru station wagon. I love it ; )
Great post!
From Inside The Pentagon
Dear Family and Friends,
Most of you know that our son, XXXX, works in a leadership position within US Special Operations, specializing in counter-terrorism, at the Pentagon. I spoke with him last night to get his view of how the first week of the Trump administration was perceived there. It was a short conversation but very informative.
The difference he said is nothing short of amazing. It is almost as though you can feel it in the air, in the pace of people strides, in the expressions on their faces. But beyond that, the change in process has been immediate.
Within 48 hours several action orders that had been languishing for up to six months between State, NSC, and the White House, were approved and executed. Over the last 8 years (Luke* has been there for about 15 years) and particularly, the last 3 to 4, the atmosphere has been stifling.
Every little thing had to be vetted by dozens of 30-year old State Department lawyers ( with no military experience) before it even got up the chain, effectively neutering the senior officers and reducing effectiveness to near zero.
This past week, Luke took something to General Dunford, our Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and within minutes it was approved by the SecDef, General Mattis (both Marines, by the way) and greenlighted.
There is new energy flowing through the whole building. There is a new sense of purpose, a new resolve that is palpable. A cloud has been lifted.
Say what you will about our new president, and there certainly is a lot (pro and con) that could be and is being said, the folks at the pentagon are walking with a new skip in their step.
Some sacrifices must be made. 8>)
This past week, Luke took something to General Dunford, our Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and within minutes it was approved by the SecDef, General Mattis (both Marines, by the way) and greenlighted
*************************************************
Making America Great Again!!!
I usually don’t trust that type of E-Mail———I guess that I’m just a skeptic.
.
That is great. Best part is “in 15 years”. Even better, we won’t be helping. Make bed=lying in it.
I’ve always liked Kum-ba-ya. But then I learned it as a religious campfire song. Not a social justice anthem. :)
It’s not a serious proposal? Crap!
I don’t either, but for this person the chances of it being legit are definitely greater. Let’s just say this person is very connected.
We all have to make sacrifices... let them have the Subaru.
Great, HL. Laughed at quite a few of these points...
That flagged me, too. It should have said, Prius, MiniCooper, Uber and Lyft.
Do you have a source for that? I’m not seeing it in the link you posted.
It’s under the Presidential header, then in the comments...you just have to read down to where they are...
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.