Posted on 11/28/2014 4:41:37 PM PST by John Semmens
President Obama characterized GOP critics of his Executive Order granting new rights to illegal immigrants as "excessively whiny. I've been really quite restrained compared to what I could have done."
To help illustrate his self-imposed mercy, the President reminded his critics that "President Lincoln was far harsher with his critics than I have been. Hundreds of men were summarily arrested and their property confiscated for their criticism of his actions to suppress the secessionist movement. I have, as yet, done nothing of a similar nature, though my advisers tell me I'd be within my rights to do so."
"Neither have I threatened any of my critics with execution, as Lincoln and his cabinet did on a regular basis during the Civil War," Obama added. "So, on balance, I'd recommend that the GOP consider themselves lucky that their biggest complaint is that I'm ignoring the law and the Constitution. How far they wish to push their luck is something they may want to weigh very carefully. I am the nation's Commander-in-Chief and, like Lincoln, I have a host of well-armed men ready to carry out whatever orders I give them."
In related news, Obama's Executive Order on immigration has received the endorsement of Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto who hailed "this first step toward the restoration of our rights taken away by the Americans in their war of aggression in 1846-48."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,155297.0.html
ping
I didn’t like the law, I changed the law. I was holding back on the real dictatorial powers I hold...
Hi John! Hope you had a great Thanksgiving. Looking forward to A Merry Christmas.
Cheers
Love this! Thanks
The Mexican government has had no trouble establishing a string of “Manchurian Candidates” in our White House. The Mexican exportation of their poverty continues at a rampant, supported-by-Washington pace.
Dabnabbit John!
There you go again giving the P.O.S. ideas!
For shame!!!
Obama claims he has been showing restraint.
Here is the way to restrain Obama and others.
Put the White House in LOCKDOWN and also LOCKDOWN of the Department of Justice.
Après moi le Ted Cruz.
Don’t even need to read it to know it’s great.
You know, of course, the reason you have been asked to put satire in your title is because insane liberals see your work and are too consumed with rage and hate to read more than a sentence or two (if that) and think we are publishing it as truth. In other words, your work is so good it must have a disclaimer.
You've captured Obama's self-serving rationalizations... and the naked threats underneath them... Nice John... very nice.
Good job, John. Thank you for the ping.
"...less costly methods of conflict resolution..." ?
Priceless (in the tragic sense, of course.)
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Yet another fine, and historically semi-accurate, column John.
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