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Best Gay Cowboy Joke Ever
Reaganite Republican ^
| 16 August 2013
| Reaganite Republican
Posted on 08/16/2013 12:11:55 PM PDT by Reaganite Republican
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand...
Two cowboys applied for the job: one was gay, and the other a drunk.
She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.
He soon proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.
Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kickup your heels."
The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
1:00 am came, however, and he didn't return. 2:00 and no hired hand.
Finally he returned around 2:30, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine,
waiting for him.
She quietly called him over to her and said
"Unbutton my blouse and take it off."
Trembling, he did as she directed.
"Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
"Now take off my socks..." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
"Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.
"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. Then she looked at him and said-
"If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired!"
-h/t Kirby-
TOPICS: Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: funny; gay; humor; joke
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To: t1b8zs
I am having a case of Forbidden Laughter! LOL. Talk about Blazing Saddles, why don’cha!
To: Reaganite Republican
OMG! Never saw that one coming, LOL!
22
posted on
08/16/2013 12:48:54 PM PDT
by
Diana in Wisconsin
(I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set...)
To: 21twelve
From email on 03/15/13
“Back on January 9th, a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge. So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,
“Hey Baby.....whatcha doin’ up there on that railin’?”
She says tearfully, “I’m going to commit suicide!!”
While he didn’t want to appear “sensitive,” George also didn’t want to miss this “be-a-legend” opportunity either so he asked ...”Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe...why don’t you give ole George here your best last kiss?”
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says,
“Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That’s a real talent you’re wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why the hell are you committing suicide?”
“My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl.”
It’s still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed. “
23
posted on
08/16/2013 12:52:44 PM PDT
by
GOYAKLA
(Waiting for the Golden Screw to be removed from Obama's navel and his a$$ falls off!)
To: EQAndyBuzz
24
posted on
08/16/2013 12:59:07 PM PDT
by
Secret Agent Man
(Gone Galt; Not averse to Going Bronson.)
To: GOP_Party_Animal
I guess the broom was playing Reggie Love that day.
25
posted on
08/16/2013 1:00:01 PM PDT
by
Secret Agent Man
(Gone Galt; Not averse to Going Bronson.)
To: Reaganite Republican
26
posted on
08/16/2013 1:01:04 PM PDT
by
MEGoody
(You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.)
To: dfwgator
I thought that was Tony Romo.
To: Reaganite Republican
I didn’t see that coming.
28
posted on
08/16/2013 1:03:54 PM PDT
by
Delta Dawn
(Fluent in two languages: English and cursive.)
To: Reaganite Republican; Lazamataz
Brokeback Mountain II (The Sequel)
Rated two thumbs up by movie reviewer Laz ....
To: Reaganite Republican
30
posted on
08/16/2013 1:08:35 PM PDT
by
Ditter
To: Reaganite Republican
the cattle ranch was located about twenty miles away from town and on pay day, a few of the old timers on the ranch would hop into the Model A and head to town for some fun and drinks. This was the norm for years and they were always back on the ranch and up the next morning at 5 AM ready for work. On this Sunday morning, they weren't back so the other ranch hands started the day without them and worked until the lunch bell rang. After lunch, they still weren't back. Long about 3 PM here they came walking up the dirt road and looking pretty shabby and hung over. The boss met them in the barn yard and asked where the hell they've been and where's the car? Buster started out, well Mr. Brown, you included our bonuses with our pay checks so we all drank more than usual. We left town in plenty of time to get back to the ranch but Deeder was driven and he kept running off the side of the road and the right rear tires went flat on us. We all got out, George jacked up the back of the car and you know that old car, both back tires come off the ground when its on the jack. Well, we changed the tire and got back in the car and we were going along, for hours it seemed and then Deeder tells us we are almost out of gas and about right then the motor quit on us. We were still too drunk so we decided we'd just sleep for a bit. Next thing we know, the sun is blazing and we knew we were late for work. We all got out of the car and dad blameit, would you know it, the car was still on the jack.
To: GOP_Party_Animal
That’s pretty bad
I love it lol
To: EQAndyBuzz
To: Diana in Wisconsin
This one sets itself up, heh
To: Servant of the Cross
ANYTHING’s better than the original- but, yeah this looks pretty good lol
To: t1b8zs
Sure it’s not racist? I mean we seem to be applying that to everything these days. Except angry white men.
36
posted on
08/16/2013 1:24:12 PM PDT
by
rktman
(Inergalactic background checks? King hussein you're first up.)
To: GOYAKLA
Rated two chuckles and a snort.
38
posted on
08/16/2013 1:46:03 PM PDT
by
Sergio
(An object at rest cannot be stopped! - The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight)
To: Reaganite Republican
I guess it's finally time for me to come out of the closet, here on FR for the first time:
I am a lesbian, trapped in a man's body.
To: mikeus_maximus
Lots of us on FR are male lesbians. El Rushbo is a male lesbian.
It’s the only politically correct way to be attracted toward women.
Of course, with that new law in California lots of male lesbians will announce that they are sexually comfortable only in the girls’ locker room, so stay tuned.
40
posted on
08/16/2013 1:58:00 PM PDT
by
elcid1970
("The Second Amendment is more important than Islam.")
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