Skip to comments.DUmmie FUnnies 11-06-12 (Confident DUmmies pop the champagne corks!!)
Posted on 11/06/2012 12:14:30 AM PST by Charles Henrickson
Nobody in their right mind is predicting a huge Obama victory. Most all the polls are showing a dead heat in the popular vote. In terms of electoral votes, many of the swing states that could decide the election--those too show a margin of only a percentage point or two, one way or the other. It looks too close to call with any confidence. The consensus seems to be that it will be one of three possibilities: a) Romney could win narrowly, b) if there is a bit of a wave, it's more likely to go to the challenger, and thus Romney could win by a somewhat healthier margin, or c) at best, Obama could pull out a squeaker. But no one in their right mind, NOBODY, is predicting with any reasonable degree of confidence d) an Obama blowout.
Nobody . . . in their right mind. And that of course is where the DUmmies come in. "D" is for DUmmie, and the DUmmies ARE predicting an Obama blowout, a LANDSLIDE! They are EXTREMELY confident, to the point of cocky. Let's break out the champagne bottles, boys and girls, and pop those corks!! WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! Freudenschade, baby!!!
Many threads to choose from. The DUmmies are on a Nate Silver high. But we'll just use two threads for now, this THREAD, "Obama 347 Romney 191," and this THREAD, "What will you be drinking on election night?"
So as Election Day is getting underway, let us now join the jubilant denizens of the DUmp, gleeful and gloating and imbibing the bubbly, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--sticking by his long-held prediction of a 52% popular vote, 290-320 range (305 median) electoral vote, victory for Mitt Romney--is in the [brackets]:
Obama 347 Romney 191. . . . This what I think will happen minimally. But, what I hope happens is a a vast sea of blue. . . .
[An Obama Ocean! Let's think big! Let's go 532-6!! And who knows? Utah may still come into play!]
maybe Akin could give us MO.
[MO-mentum, baby! Never mind that Missouri has shown Romney ahead by double digits, and that even McCain won here. Nah, this will be a Lady Parts Landslide!]
I look for Georgia as a long shot. I have heard others also throw South Carolina in there too.
[South Carolina, yes! No one IN THE WORLD has South Carolina in play, but, hey, it could happen! No, it WILL happen!!!]
I like that 347 number but it's still too low for me. The power of a 15% to 20% Popular Vote Obama lead makes that number too low. I'm looking for a number closer to 400. . . .
[COME! ON! 500+!! 538--no, 540!! Bonus points for Guam and American Samoa!!]
Sounds like you're a peddler of bullsh*t. Who have you heard saying South Carolina? Who in their right mind makes that kind of insane prediction?
[To ask the question is to answer it.]
I use those polls for toilet paper.
[benburch would LOVE to stick a poll up his butt!]
More Republicans will vote for Obama than anyone thinks.
[Let's see, Colin Powell, that's one. What about Jon Huntsman? Has anyone heard from him? He could tip the Chinese vote in Utah.]
What will you be drinking on election night?
[Champagne, baby!! WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! Heck, why wait? Pop open the bubbly NOW!!]
I'm leaning toward Famous Grouse and Topo Chico.
[I'm leaning toward Famous Mouse and Topo Gigio. "Eddie, keess me goo'night!"]
It's a multicultural drink of blended Scotch whiskey and Mexican mineral water. Delicious and medicinal.
[Fast and furious.]
Glass of water for my evening meds. . . .
[I suggest a Prozac-Paxil-Celexa cocktail, with a Zoloft chaser.]
[I thought Zero gave that stuff up.]
coffee-black- I want to be alert, we need to catch them in the act. . . . They would just love it if we all got wasted, passed out and woke up to a Romney victory!
[Instead, now you can stay up all night for the Romney victory.]
No sh*t! I'm waiting to see if I need to throw on my coat and get my ass to Ohio!
[Don't look now, folks, but the Diebold Excuse is warming up in the bullpen.]
Baileys Irish Cream. . . .
[Followed by a Fairly Ghoulish Scream at the end of the night.]
Pepto Bismol. . . .
[For BO Abysmal.]
Well, I have leftover beer from the Halloween party in my fridge.
[I don't always drink leftover beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Ickies.]
what the hell. If President Obama takes it, I am having one beer.
[A Beer Summit of One.]
Even if it is Bud Light Platinum.
[If you're having Bud Light, I'll do a platinum duck.]
Bourbon as soon as the polls close.
same as every other night; sweet tea.
[We Rethuglicans will be drinking your sweet tears.]
home-made wine. . . .
[Soon turning to home-made whine.]
Probably Dr. Pepper.
[And when Romney wins, Dr. Prepper.]
Probably a nice cabernet.
[After Holder, Hillary, and Nappy, I could go for a nice cabernet.]
A big 'ol glass of smug satisfaction.
[Looks like you guys have already started!]
The blood of my enemies! Muwahahahahaha!
[I'm probably not your type.]
Champagne for Obama win. Drano for Rmoney win.
Well sh*t, I already started!
[Let the party begin! No need to even count the votes! It's an Obama LANDSLIDE!!!]
Beer. Lots of it.
[So how will this night be any different, Will?]
I wish I could drink, but this is my wifes peak time right now and we're trying to have our first. Alcohol lowers sperm count, thus I'm cut off this week.
[Look, you will not want to bring a child into RomneyWorld, so go ahead and drink away.]
white russians. . . .
[The DUde abides.]
On the off chance of a Romney win (shudder) I have a full bottle of vodka, a full bottle of Captain and a mostly full bottle of tequila.
[Knock yourself out!]
I expect my liver to sue for divorce Wednesday morning.
[There must be fifty ways to leave your liver.]
EARLY Election Day PING!
EARLY Election Day PING!
EARLY Election Day PING!
A ping so nice, I did it thrice!
I’ll drink O’Douls to savor the moment.
They are really full of themselves..LOL
After this one is called for Romney the next stop must be Dummyland—it will be a car crash, a train wreck, a hurricane, and a tornado wrapped into one!
Scream, baby scream—drama time!
Yeah—I remember that.
Wasn’t it 2004 when they shut down Dummyland to outsiders for a week or so after the election? That was when they went nutso over “exit polls” and “black box voting”.
Hopefully we now have our spies in place to give us a lengthy peek inside the drama curtain. ;-)
They don’t need to drink anything.
It’s too late for them. The booze would only straighten them out, make them less wasted than they already are.
Slit their wrists???
A girl can dream......
In fact, it the fascist Dear Reader and his RAT party find some way to pull this out, I'll probably need another bottle as though I have not been inebriated in over 25 years, I'd rather be in a stupor for a couple of days if the worst thing that could happen, does.
Please or please let it be a case of premature elation!
That's just too much money and way too good of a Beer for a DUmmie to drink. That swill called Bud and Bud Light is more like it for a true DUmmie. Actually all American Beer is swill, it all has chemical additives, but not any German Beer. They have Beer Purity Laws that go back hundreds of years they still must comply with.
(I didn't always drink beer. But when I did, it was Beck's!)
[True. Honest injun]
My wife's relatives from Germany says all our beer tastes like piss. I almost fell off my chair laughing when her uncle told me that. [I was Bi-Lingual when I got hammered on Beck's.]
Famous last words of many a couple who wake up to an unexpected pregnancy.
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