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DUmmie FUnnies 11-06-12 (Confident DUmmies pop the champagne corks!!)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | November 6, 2012 | DUmmies and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 11/06/2012 12:14:30 AM PST by Charles Henrickson

Nobody in their right mind is predicting a huge Obama victory. Most all the polls are showing a dead heat in the popular vote. In terms of electoral votes, many of the swing states that could decide the election--those too show a margin of only a percentage point or two, one way or the other. It looks too close to call with any confidence. The consensus seems to be that it will be one of three possibilities: a) Romney could win narrowly, b) if there is a bit of a wave, it's more likely to go to the challenger, and thus Romney could win by a somewhat healthier margin, or c) at best, Obama could pull out a squeaker. But no one in their right mind, NOBODY, is predicting with any reasonable degree of confidence d) an Obama blowout.

Nobody . . . in their right mind. And that of course is where the DUmmies come in. "D" is for DUmmie, and the DUmmies ARE predicting an Obama blowout, a LANDSLIDE! They are EXTREMELY confident, to the point of cocky. Let's break out the champagne bottles, boys and girls, and pop those corks!! WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! Freudenschade, baby!!!

Many threads to choose from. The DUmmies are on a Nate Silver high. But we'll just use two threads for now, this THREAD, "Obama 347 Romney 191," and this THREAD, "What will you be drinking on election night?"

So as Election Day is getting underway, let us now join the jubilant denizens of the DUmp, gleeful and gloating and imbibing the bubbly, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--sticking by his long-held prediction of a 52% popular vote, 290-320 range (305 median) electoral vote, victory for Mitt Romney--is in the [brackets]:

Obama 347 Romney 191. . . . This what I think will happen minimally. But, what I hope happens is a a vast sea of blue. . . .

[An Obama Ocean! Let's think big! Let's go 532-6!! And who knows? Utah may still come into play!]

maybe Akin could give us MO.

[MO-mentum, baby! Never mind that Missouri has shown Romney ahead by double digits, and that even McCain won here. Nah, this will be a Lady Parts Landslide!]

I look for Georgia as a long shot. I have heard others also throw South Carolina in there too.

[South Carolina, yes! No one IN THE WORLD has South Carolina in play, but, hey, it could happen! No, it WILL happen!!!]

I like that 347 number but it's still too low for me. The power of a 15% to 20% Popular Vote Obama lead makes that number too low. I'm looking for a number closer to 400. . . .

[COME! ON! 500+!! 538--no, 540!! Bonus points for Guam and American Samoa!!]

Sounds like you're a peddler of bullsh*t. Who have you heard saying South Carolina? Who in their right mind makes that kind of insane prediction?

[To ask the question is to answer it.]

I use those polls for toilet paper.

[benburch would LOVE to stick a poll up his butt!]

More Republicans will vote for Obama than anyone thinks.

[Let's see, Colin Powell, that's one. What about Jon Huntsman? Has anyone heard from him? He could tip the Chinese vote in Utah.]

What will you be drinking on election night?

[Champagne, baby!! WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! Heck, why wait? Pop open the bubbly NOW!!]

I'm leaning toward Famous Grouse and Topo Chico.

[I'm leaning toward Famous Mouse and Topo Gigio. "Eddie, keess me goo'night!"]

It's a multicultural drink of blended Scotch whiskey and Mexican mineral water. Delicious and medicinal.

[Fast and furious.]

Glass of water for my evening meds. . . .

[I suggest a Prozac-Paxil-Celexa cocktail, with a Zoloft chaser.]

Coke Zero.

[I thought Zero gave that stuff up.]

coffee-black- I want to be alert, we need to catch them in the act. . . . They would just love it if we all got wasted, passed out and woke up to a Romney victory!

[Instead, now you can stay up all night for the Romney victory.]

No sh*t! I'm waiting to see if I need to throw on my coat and get my ass to Ohio!

[Don't look now, folks, but the Diebold Excuse is warming up in the bullpen.]

Baileys Irish Cream. . . .

[Followed by a Fairly Ghoulish Scream at the end of the night.]

Pepto Bismol. . . .

[For BO Abysmal.]

Well, I have leftover beer from the Halloween party in my fridge.

[I don't always drink leftover beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Ickies.]

what the hell. If President Obama takes it, I am having one beer.

[A Beer Summit of One.]

Even if it is Bud Light Platinum.

[If you're having Bud Light, I'll do a platinum duck.]

Bourbon.

Bourbon also.

Bourbon as soon as the polls close.

[Bourbon sprawl.]

same as every other night; sweet tea.

[We Rethuglicans will be drinking your sweet tears.]

Dortmunder Gold

[Comedy Gold.]

home-made wine. . . .

[Soon turning to home-made whine.]

Probably Dr. Pepper.

[And when Romney wins, Dr. Prepper.]

Kool Aid.

Probably a nice cabernet.

[After Holder, Hillary, and Nappy, I could go for a nice cabernet.]

A big 'ol glass of smug satisfaction.

[Looks like you guys have already started!]

The blood of my enemies! Muwahahahahaha!

[I'm probably not your type.]

Champagne for Obama win. Drano for Rmoney win.

Becks!

Well sh*t, I already started!

[Let the party begin! No need to even count the votes! It's an Obama LANDSLIDE!!!]

Beer. Lots of it.

[So how will this night be any different, Will?]

I wish I could drink, but this is my wifes peak time right now and we're trying to have our first. Alcohol lowers sperm count, thus I'm cut off this week.

[Look, you will not want to bring a child into RomneyWorld, so go ahead and drink away.]

white russians. . . .

[The DUde abides.]

On the off chance of a Romney win (shudder) I have a full bottle of vodka, a full bottle of Captain and a mostly full bottle of tequila.

[Knock yourself out!]

I expect my liver to sue for divorce Wednesday morning.

[There must be fifty ways to leave your liver.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: champagne; dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies; election; freudenschade; obama

1 posted on 11/06/2012 12:14:39 AM PST by Charles Henrickson
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To: PJ-Comix; Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; ...

EARLY Election Day PING!


2 posted on 11/06/2012 12:19:29 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (Freudenschade: The premature elation of the DUmmies.)
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To: PJ-Comix; Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; ...

EARLY Election Day PING!


3 posted on 11/06/2012 12:20:27 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (Freudenschade: The premature elation of the DUmmies.)
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To: PJ-Comix; Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; ...

EARLY Election Day PING!


4 posted on 11/06/2012 12:21:28 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (Freudenschade: The premature elation of the DUmmies.)
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A ping so nice, I did it thrice!


5 posted on 11/06/2012 12:28:14 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (Freudenschade: The premature elation of the DUmmies.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I’ll drink O’Douls to savor the moment.


6 posted on 11/06/2012 12:36:03 AM PST by MaxMax
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To: Charles Henrickson
Good one Charles! I have been scrounging over there this week.

They are really full of themselves..LOL

7 posted on 11/06/2012 12:36:20 AM PST by Repub4bush
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To: Repub4bush

After this one is called for Romney the next stop must be Dummyland—it will be a car crash, a train wreck, a hurricane, and a tornado wrapped into one!

Scream, baby scream—drama time!


8 posted on 11/06/2012 12:42:38 AM PST by cgbg (Crying MSNBC lefties on election night=Victory!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Heard from a neighbor and saw Freeper reports here of Obama voters standing in the middle of roads like they owned the world the last time he won. Wonder what they're going to do when he loses.
9 posted on 11/06/2012 12:44:39 AM PST by Hillarys Gate Cult (Liberals make unrealistic demands on reality and reality doesn't oblige them.)
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To: cgbg
If they shut down to all but registered users like they’ve done before then we know they’re expecting the worst.
10 posted on 11/06/2012 12:47:13 AM PST by Hillarys Gate Cult (Liberals make unrealistic demands on reality and reality doesn't oblige them.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
  I went to check out DemocratUnderworld.com a few minutes ago. They have a tendency to swoon whenever Obama hugs a hurricane victim or sends a letter to a little girl. It's a real eye-opener.
11 posted on 11/06/2012 12:48:45 AM PST by Maurice Tift (You can't stop the signal, Mal. You can never stop the signal.)
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To: Hillarys Gate Cult

Yeah—I remember that.

Wasn’t it 2004 when they shut down Dummyland to outsiders for a week or so after the election? That was when they went nutso over “exit polls” and “black box voting”.

Hopefully we now have our spies in place to give us a lengthy peek inside the drama curtain. ;-)


12 posted on 11/06/2012 12:56:19 AM PST by cgbg (Crying MSNBC lefties on election night=Victory!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

They don’t need to drink anything.

It’s too late for them. The booze would only straighten them out, make them less wasted than they already are.


13 posted on 11/06/2012 1:39:52 AM PST by metmom (For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore & do not submit again to a yoke of slavery)
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To: Hillarys Gate Cult
Heard from a neighbor and saw Freeper reports here of Obama voters standing in the middle of roads like they owned the world the last time he won. Wonder what they're going to do when he loses.

Slit their wrists???

A girl can dream......

14 posted on 11/06/2012 1:41:50 AM PST by metmom (For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore & do not submit again to a yoke of slavery)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I purchased a nice bottle of Crown Royal and will be imbibing tonight either in celebration or to drown my sorrows.

In fact, it the fascist Dear Reader and his RAT party find some way to pull this out, I'll probably need another bottle as though I have not been inebriated in over 25 years, I'd rather be in a stupor for a couple of days if the worst thing that could happen, does.

15 posted on 11/06/2012 2:05:20 AM PST by neveralib
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To: Charles Henrickson

Please or please let it be a case of premature elation!


16 posted on 11/06/2012 4:05:18 AM PST by Incorrigible (If I lead, follow me; If I pause, push me; If I retreat, kill me.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
One of those DUmmies is actually a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL.
The one who outed himself by saying Beck's.

That's just too much money and way too good of a Beer for a DUmmie to drink. That swill called Bud and Bud Light is more like it for a true DUmmie. Actually all American Beer is swill, it all has chemical additives, but not any German Beer. They have Beer Purity Laws that go back hundreds of years they still must comply with.

(I didn't always drink beer. But when I did, it was Beck's!)
[True. Honest injun]

My wife's relatives from Germany says all our beer tastes like piss. I almost fell off my chair laughing when her uncle told me that. [I was Bi-Lingual when I got hammered on Beck's.]

17 posted on 11/06/2012 4:13:35 AM PST by Condor51 (Si vis pacem, para bellum.)
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To: metmom
(you're bad)
18 posted on 11/06/2012 4:16:17 AM PST by Condor51 (Si vis pacem, para bellum.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Alcohol lowers sperm count

Famous last words of many a couple who wake up to an unexpected pregnancy.

19 posted on 11/06/2012 4:21:48 AM PST by NRA1995 (CNN should be PNN (Propaganda, Never News))
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To: Charles Henrickson
coffee-black

Racist.

20 posted on 11/06/2012 4:32:43 AM PST by kevkrom (If a wise man has an argument with a foolish man, the fool only rages or laughs...)
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To: Charles Henrickson
home-made wine. . . .

Ran out of MD 20-20 for the night??

Champagne for Obama win. Drano for Rmoney win.

Just drink cyanide instead of Drano tonight.

I expect my liver to sue for divorce Wednesday morning.

[There must be fifty ways to leave your liver.]

That is a regular occurrence in DUmmieland.

21 posted on 11/06/2012 5:15:37 AM PST by Arrowhead1952 ("It's better to vote for a Republican you don't know than wind up with a dim you don't like".)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Me thinks the DUmmies are gonna OD


22 posted on 11/06/2012 5:20:00 AM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I look for Georgia as a long shot. I have heard others also throw South Carolina in there there....

Snicker....Yeah Right! If they think SC is a tossup they need to have their head examined AGAIN!


23 posted on 11/06/2012 5:26:38 AM PST by jakerobins
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To: Charles Henrickson

If they’re voting for revenge, they’ve got a case of whoop a**


24 posted on 11/06/2012 5:38:16 AM PST by bitt (The buck rolls downhill.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Right now WILLIAM RIVERS PITT has dropped to his knees before Nate Silver and is MESMERIZED by the sound of his sliding zipper declaring that Obama has a 91.6% chance of winning.
25 posted on 11/06/2012 5:40:06 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Beware the Rip in the Space/Time Continuum)
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To: Maurice Tift

I joined Democratic Underground a while ago just so I could view the threads today. I am so excited...it’s like Christmas!


26 posted on 11/06/2012 5:46:32 AM PST by Personal Responsibility (In times of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act - Orwell)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I visited the DUmpster yesterday and the DUmmies were strangely calm. hummmmmmmmmmm
27 posted on 11/06/2012 5:50:53 AM PST by Ditter
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To: cgbg

I’ve had my dummy account for about a month now! I’ve tried to post enough replies so that now I can start threads! WIll be letting you guys know when it starts to turn south and let all the fun begin! Here is one that was posted last night...seriously you can’t make this stuff up:

Rachel Maddow needs to get the Nobel Peace Prize or maybe run for president in 2016!

Hahaha! That helped me sleep last night knowing that just because they are confident doesn’t make them right or smart!


28 posted on 11/06/2012 6:10:44 AM PST by proudtexasmama
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To: Personal Responsibility
I joined Democratic Underground a while ago just so I could view the threads today.

I had a nice long run posting in DUmmieland as IndianaGreen but finally got banned a couple of years ago. One reason I had a long run is that I avoided suspicion by portraying myself as a female DUmmie. Also I pushed the envelope by "protesting" that I was NOT IndianaGreen and that worked since why would a deep cover FReeper even mention his DUmmie screen name but eventually maybe Skinner figured out that the protests were done for the reason I mentioned and got me banned.

However, I am again deep DEEP cover. No suspicion on me since I built up a high posting number by building up my post total on non-political threads and posting the correct PC bilge on the political threads.

p.s. I am NOT WilliamPitt! Got that, Skinner?

29 posted on 11/06/2012 6:49:15 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Beware the Rip in the Space/Time Continuum)
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To: Personal Responsibility

Well don’t be afraid to start your own threads tonight and tomorrow.

You can title them “Hysteria” or “Screamfest” or “Halloween Continues” and then get that CTL-C and CTL-V cranking!


30 posted on 11/06/2012 7:03:36 AM PST by cgbg (Crying MSNBC lefties on election night=Victory!)
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To: jakerobins
If they think SC is a tossup they need to have their head examined AGAIN!

Back in 2004 after Drudge leaked the exit polls, me and Michael Barone did double takes when they had South Carolina as "toss up".

Lifted my spirits since I knew that that meant the exit polls were off.

31 posted on 11/06/2012 7:55:25 AM PST by eddie willers
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To: Charles Henrickson
Probably a nice cabernet.

% Life is a Cabernet, old chum -- go for the Cabernet! %

32 posted on 11/06/2012 9:34:08 AM PST by mikrofon (BHO: "Tomorrow Belongs to ME.")
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To: Charles Henrickson

I’ll be posting DUFU editions Fast & Furious after the election results start swarming in after 7 PM tonight. Right now letting the DUmmies enjoy their Nate Silver guaranteed victory.


33 posted on 11/06/2012 9:54:22 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Beware the Rip in the Space/Time Continuum)
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To: Charles Henrickson

OT but with all this talk about this perhaps being a Chick-Fil-A election I got the munchies for a Chick-Fil-A sandwich. I recently scoured the web in search of Chick-Fil-A coupons but no luck. Then a few minutes ago I went out for a walk and what did I see lying on the ground but a Chick-Fil-A coupon for a FREE chicken sandwich (with purchase of medium waffle fries and drink). So even when I’m not couponing I still find valuable coupons.


34 posted on 11/06/2012 2:07:34 PM PST by PJ-Comix (Beware the Rip in the Space/Time Continuum)
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