"Childhood obesity is very important to Michelle Obama, kid!"
Posted on 02/01/2011 2:50:54 PM PST by writer33
A Government Program That Will Get Your Out Of Control Child’s Weight Under Control
Are you struggling with a child that’s weight is out of control? Is your child’s breakfast, lunch and dinner a super-sized value meal from McDonalds? Parents…are your children porkers? If so, then there’s a government program just for you. The program is Michelle Obama’s Total Transformation Weight-Loss System™.
That’s right! It’s Michelle Obama’s Total Transformation Weight-Loss System™, and it’s here for all of the fat children of America! Michelle Obama knows your children have a fat ass, and now she’s going to do something about it. She’s developed a weight-loss system that’s guaranteed to work for any child out there. But don’t worry…it won’t cost you a dime. The American taxpayer is going to foot the bill FOR YOU to make sure your child has the very best! Now what could be a better deal than that?
Michelle Obama will change your child’s weight dramatically! It’s very simple. Dial this convenient number: 1-MYK-IDI-SFAT, and we’ll send federal marshals to come and pick up your precious little darling at five in the morning. He or she will be rushed off to a fat camp where your loveable little fuzz ball will be fed jars of seaweed and celery sticks until your child has reached their government-approved weight. But don’t worry about their education while they’re gone, they’ll even receive classes—personally taught by Michelle Obama—on fat and global warming, and how fat people are destroying America. After months of therapy, your child will be returned to you looking their best for those school photos.
Childhood obesity is very important to Michelle Obama, and she’s sparing no taxpayer dollars until every child in America looks like her children. So don’t hesitate and sign your child up today, or else Michelle Obama will sign your child up anyway! That’s right!
You’ll be whisked off to wonderful Fort Leavenworth. You’ll get away from all the worries of having to struggle in today’s economy. You’ll be able to spend quality time getting your mind right at one of our federal facilities. You’ll be fed three healthy meals a day, you’ll have lots of strenuous exercise and Michelle will personally make sure you receive a cellmate that you can share all of your wonderful experiences with. And most importantly, you’ll be doing it for your children. Isn’t that wonderful?
So isn’t it time you signed up your child for Michelle Obama’s Total Transformation Weight-Loss System™? But don’t take our word for it…listen to Mary Denning’s fantastic tale of success:
“My little Jeffrey’s weight was out of control,” declared Denning. “No matter how healthy I fed him, he was always sneaking candy. One day, while he was at school, I found a half-eaten Mars bar under his pillow. That’s when I knew I had to take action. So I called 1-MYK-IDI-SFAT, and the next morning there were five federal marshals breaking down the door and stuffing Jeffery into a van. After fat camp and six months of intensive therapy, Jeffrey was returned with a nervous tick. He looked great though! Now every school photo turns out great! Thanks, Michelle!”
You see… Michelle Obama’s Total Transformation Weight-Loss System™ can work for you too! Even if your child has the backside of Michelle Obama, we’ll whip them into shape. You’ll finally be able to say you’re finally proud of your country!
Michelle Obama’s Total Transformation Weight-Loss System™ is 100% Barack Obama approved and recommended for your child. And if you call within the next 24 hours, we’ll send you a free Obama/Biden bumper sticker to put on your new electric car.
Michelle Obama’s Total Transformation Weight-Loss System™ is required for every home in America, exempting only registered Democrats that are making $499,000 or more per year. So don’t hesitate any longer, take advantage of this program or else!
Success story concept and Michelle Obama backside contribution by rwi.
The best weight loss system is still the North Korean concentration camps where you’ll be 90 in less than a year when you are buried.
Satire ping!
lol
True on North Korea.
She’s married to the Biggest Loser.
It looks like its seaweed and celery sticks for your youngest daughter. You don't meet the exemption criteria. LOL!
Michelle’s program:
Eat the other person’s food while harping on them for being so fat.
LOL!
"Childhood obesity is very important to Michelle Obama, kid!"
Perfect, mrsmith, thanks for posting the picture. LOL!
LOL! The wookie!
LOL! Great unique!
That’s appropriate. LOL!
“Son, come over here and pay attention, stand up straight, get your hands out of your pockets, pull up your pants, and put down that pop tart”!
LOL!
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