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General Milley Rides Through Streets Of Beijing Shouting ‘The Americans Are Coming!’
BabylonBee.com ^ | 9-15-2021 | BabylonBee.com

Posted on 09/15/2021 11:01:52 AM PDT by servo1969

BEIJING—General Mark Milley was heard last night riding through the streets of Beijing, desperately warning the Chinese with the clarion call, "The Americans are coming! The Americans are coming!!"

"Hey look, those Chinese generals are my buddies, they deserve fair warning—I've known them for ten years now, and they are always so nice to me. They were super supportive about that whole Afghanistan withdrawal thing—those friendships are more important than some job," explained General Milley, America's highest-ranking military officer.

"I mean—they aren't close friends, we don't get together for poker or anything. But we do sometimes exchange funny memes and nuclear codes. We also play that game 'Battleship', but I use the actual coordinates of the 7th fleet, which adds that element of realism which makes it more fun."

Several members of the media, military and those with objective neurons in their brains saw the midnight ride differently, accusing the General of treason. While admitting that factually he totally committed treason, General Milley defended his actions as morally correct. "You all think this is so clear-cut, like there is some clear chain of command we are supposed to follow in the military. It's not that simple," said General Milley. "What if you had a commander who ordered an airstrike against terrorists who kept people in concentration camps, but that felt kind of rash to you? And what if those terrorists had just sent you a hilarious cat .gif? Put yourself in my shoes."

"It sure is easy to cast stones from the peanut gallery out there. But someday, a President is going to come along that is angry, rash, incompetent, and borderline demented, and that President is going to make an enormous mess out of a military operation leading to the deaths of many Americans," he said angrily. "Hopefully that day never comes."


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; beijing; biden; china; chinese; milley; satire; traitor; treason; trump
The best satire is virtually indistinguishable from reality.

But this time I can't decide if it's funny or sad.

1 posted on 09/15/2021 11:01:52 AM PDT by servo1969
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To: servo1969

It’s obvious that Milley has extensively studied Sun Tzu. There’s no way he could be thoroughly violating every single principle by pure accident.


2 posted on 09/15/2021 11:08:31 AM PDT by Joe 6-pack
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To: Joe 6-pack

Dunno ! Arrogant stupidty has a genius all its own !


3 posted on 09/15/2021 11:10:15 AM PDT by Reily
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To: servo1969

Ahh, the Bee!


4 posted on 09/15/2021 11:15:51 AM PDT by 1956tbyrd
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To: servo1969

I can only imagine what Ike or Patton or Bradley or Pershing or Sherman or Grant or Lee or Washington would have done if they had found this venal clown on their staffs.


5 posted on 09/15/2021 11:15:59 AM PDT by Seruzawa ("The Political left is the Garden of Eden of incompetence" - Marx the Smarter (Groucho))
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To: servo1969

Brilliant.

Like you: Is it funny or is it sad? Both, I guess.


6 posted on 09/15/2021 11:29:44 AM PDT by MayflowerMadam (“If TPTB can force you to take a shot, what CAN'T they force you to take?” - T. Carlson (paraphrased)
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To: servo1969; Joe 6-pack; Reily; 1956tbyrd; Seruzawa; MayflowerMadam

You’ll like this song about Afghanistan and...about Milley. It’s called ‘Blood on my hands’...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBp5xVfMrhE


7 posted on 09/15/2021 12:25:09 PM PDT by GOPJ (Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. -- Voltaire)
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To: Joe 6-pack

It was required reading for his generation of warriors. I shudder to think what they have replaced it with.


8 posted on 09/15/2021 12:33:59 PM PDT by jmcenanly ("The more corrupt the state, the more laws." Tacitus, Publius Cornelius)
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To: servo1969; Joe 6-pack; Reily; 1956tbyrd; MayflowerMadam; GOPJ
This article would be only amusing if it were not so close to the truth. But then I remembered hearing we have been there before and this time I traced the source. In a Canadian Broadcasting Company documentary Dean Rusk said, “he and Defense Secretary Robert McNamara provided the North Vietnam government the list of targets the U.S. planned to bomb the next day. Our detailed aerial attack plans were relayed through the Swiss Embassy in DC to their Swiss Embassy in Hanoi”. Of course, the NVA would concentrate their air defenses at those locations, but then at least the military was not usurping civilian authority. The first two links discuss General Milley and the last two NVA bombing.

Top general was so fearful Trump might spark war that he made secret calls to his Chinese counterpart, new book says

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2021/09/14/peril-woodward-costa-trump-milley-china/

Biden says he has 'complete confidence' in Joint Chiefs chairman Milley despite him admitting he DID call China and lectured his staff on nukes protocol - but denies he broke the law: Veterans demand he resign

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9994381/Milley-confirms-DID-calls-China-says-held-coordination-DoD.html

Vietnam: The Ten Thousand Day War – 1945 -1975

https://rlawsonauthor.com/vietnam-the-ten-thousand-day-war-1945-1975/

General Pete Piotrowski Says U.S. Alerted North Vietnamese before Bombing Strikes-Authorship Confirmed!

https://www.truthorfiction.com/general-pete-piotrowski-says-us-alerted-north-vietnamese-before-bombing-strikes/

9 posted on 09/15/2021 1:10:44 PM PDT by Retain Mike ( Sat Cong)
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To: servo1969

Should have reports from front lines where US Army CO’s are reporting massing of Chinese artillery aiming at their positions


10 posted on 09/15/2021 1:55:27 PM PDT by mosesdapoet (mosesdapoet AKA Lee J Keslin posting in the hopes comments get passed around )
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To: Seruzawa

George Washington had Major. Andre of the British Army hanged, and no doubt would have done the same to Benedict Arnold.


11 posted on 09/16/2021 3:06:07 PM PDT by EvilCapitalist (Pets are no substitute for children.)
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To: Reily
"Arrogant stupidity has a genius all its own !"

That should be Bugout Biden's motto.

12 posted on 09/16/2021 3:17:10 PM PDT by MNJohnnie (They would have abandon leftism to achieve sanity. Freeper Olog-hai)
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