**** FRIDAY SILLINESS *****

A man is fast asleep when the doorbell rings at 2am. His wife shakes him awake and tells him someone’s at the door. He goes to the door as the ringing persists and opens it to find a small gentleman leaning against the door jam, reeking of whiskey, and barely awake. “What do you want?” he asks the stranger. “I need a push.” “Go sleep it off, you drunk”, and closes the door. The doorbell rings immediately and he opens it again. “I just need a push.” “No. Go sleep it off or I’ll call a cop.” He slams the door and hears the doorbell again as he heads down the hall. He hears the drunk shouting “I only need a push to get started!” As he gets in bed his wife asks, “Who was it>” “Some drunk wants help.” “Well, remember that time our car broke down and we had to wake some farmer to help us? Be like him and go help the man.” SO the guy grumbles, dresses quickly and heads down the hall and out the door. He walks to the road and looks up and down, no one there. “Where are you?” he shouts. And a reply comes from the side of the house... “Back here... on your swing!”

Speaking of immortal porpoises......

I was at a posh California house party once. It was a lovely setting with a garden and lovely Koi pond. I’ve never seen such a luxury house and property.

I was looking at the koi pond, bending over closer to get a good look. Amazing fish! But as I bent over, my wallet slipped out of my suit pocket, headed straight to the pond.

Before the wallet could hit the water, a fish leaped and tossed it into the air. Again, as it was about to hit the water again, another Koi leaped out and tossed it to another fish. On and on it went passing from koi to koi.

I thought, “This is really a remarkable house! They even have carp-to-carp walleting!”

main droite fran�ais Inner Peace Obituary of Common Sense Today, we mourn the passing of an old friend by the name of Common Sense. Common Sense lived a long life, but died from heart failure at the brink of the Millennium. No one really knows how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools; hospitals, homes, factories and offices, helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in from rain, the early bird gets the worm and life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and it's okay to come in second. A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including feminism, body piercing, whole language and new math. But his health declined when he became infected with the "if-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus. In recent decades, his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of overbearing federal legislation. He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers and enlightened auditors. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance policies; when reports were heard of six year old boys charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; when a teen was suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch; when a teacher was fired for reprimanding an unruly student. It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but couldn't inform the parent when a female student is pregnant or wants an abortion. Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy Scouts to professional sports. As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments, regarding questionable regulations for asbestos, low-flow toilets, smart guns, the nurturing of Prohibition Laws and mandatory air bags. Finally, when told that the homeowners association restricted exterior furniture only to that which enhanced property values, he breathed his last. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son Reason. His three stepbrothers survive him: Rights, Tolerance and Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. Author Unknown

Rest in Peace

Obituary of Common Sense !

Today, we mourn the passing of an old friend by the name of Common Sense.

Common Sense lived a long life, but died from heart failure at the brink of the Millennium. No one really knows how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools; hospitals, homes, factories and offices, helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness.

For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in from rain, the early bird gets the worm and life isn’t always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and it’s okay to come in second.

A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including feminism, body piercing, whole language and new math.

But his health declined when he became infected with the “if-it-only-helps-one-person-it’s-worth-it” virus. In recent decades, his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of overbearing federal legislation.

He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers and enlightened auditors. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance policies; when reports were heard of six year old boys charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; when a teen was suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch; when a teacher was fired for reprimanding an unruly student. It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but couldn’t inform the parent when a female student is pregnant or wants an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy Scouts to professional sports.

As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments, regarding questionable regulations for asbestos, low-flow toilets, smart guns, the nurturing of Prohibition Laws and mandatory air bags.

Finally, when told that the homeowners association restricted exterior furniture only to that which enhanced property values, he breathed his last.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son Reason. His three stepbrothers survive him: Rights, Tolerance and Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Author Unknown

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