Posted on 10/31/2019 8:57:05 AM PDT by xzins
NEW YORK, NY—In an inspiring story from the world of professional cycling, a motorcyclist who identifies as a bicyclist has crushed all the regular bicyclists, setting an unbelievable world record.
In a local qualifying race for the World Road Cycling League, the motorcyclist crushed the previous 100-mile record of 3 hours, 13 minutes with his amazing new score of well under an hour.
Professional motorcycle racer Judd E. Banner, the brave trans-vehicle rider, was allowed to race after he told league organizers he's always felt like a bicyclist in a motorcyclist's body.
"Look, my ride has handlebars, two wheels, and a seat," he told reporters as he accepted a trophy for his incredible time trial. "Just because I've got a little extra hardware, such as an 1170-cc flat-twin engine with 110 horsepower, doesn't mean I have any kind of inherent advantage here."
Banner also said he painted the word "HUFFY" on the side of his bike, ensuring he has no advantage over the bikes that came out of the factory as bicycles.
Some critics say he needs to cut off his motor in order to make the competition fairer, but he quickly called these people bigots, and they were immediately banned from professional cycle racing.
I feel his pain! :^)
May as well. Makes as much sense as boys being girls.
Friday on Thursday
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BB did another one recently about a 37 year old man playing tee ball.
A perfect illustration of gender insanity.
Sad re a possible reality in the real world.
Funny as the tongue in cheek dialog might be real.
https://babylonbee.com/news/man-identifying-6-year-old-crushes-game-winning-homer-tee-ball-championship
So who cares? Half of Congress wrongly identify as public servants.
What a cheating Bass Tard...
He’ll probably be all upset in a couple weeks, when a NASCAR driver, who thinks he’s a cyclist, breaks the motorcyclist’s record.
It’s a Brave New World.
Preston Scott, a conservative talk show host in Tallahassee, is currently using an exchange about this satirical story in his promo ads. Scott and his co-host deftly combine serious commentary with well-chosen laughter at Lefties.
"Oh yeah, good old [redacted]? He was nuts!" said one German Shepherd who attended Old Yaler Obedience School with the hero dog, according to a CNN report. "He was always sniffing any butt he could find. Cats, dogs, humans, you name it. He didn't have a preference. He identified as pansniffual."
https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-uncovers-evidence-hero-dog-sniffed-butts
Thats funny!
“He identified as pansniffual”
Think we could convince hom to self identify as the Speaker of the House? We could do worse. We always have.
Almost too true to qualify as satire.
No question about it, the Babylon Bee is the best satire on the web.
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