Posted on 12/13/2017 9:20:24 AM PST by NRx
Damn man...whew
I’m driving the Natchez Trace home to avoid the rush hour southbound on interstate 65 to my little horse farm in Williamson
Had to pull over at the big 96 bridge parking lot to wipe my eyes
We are the same era pretty much...b1957
I was a 70s longhair deadhead libertarian southern boy who hunted and rock climbed and dove into adventure and gurls
I can’t imagine...
Y’all look so happy
I really hate how life moves so fast...when you’re old....I’ve got five kids and other dependents
I tend to just work work work everyday and freep late at night and not think about mortality....even with a pace maker and Frankenstein scars all over my chest
But that pic sure brought it all home in an avalanche
My only consolation is how many folks never really know love and passion with a lover or spouse of the opposite sex yet you had it in spades
It’s the pinnacle of life in my opinion and it creates life as it should
God bless you
You’re like me..
Your woman is far better looking than you or me are as it should be....fine woman brings it all togethe as yours did for you
Hang in there
It’s no cliche when she goes first it’s unnatural but you gotta be strong for yourself
I don’t think there is a “good way” to take your loss. I’m so sorry. My mom is a bit blessed with dementia so she doesnt remember to miss my dad (gone 1.5 year) often. But when she does, one thing that comforts her is to say that she surviving means he didn’t have to be alone. You surviving means she never had to. You are the brave one and you gave her a great life being there til the end. Hope you do have family and wishing you a merry Christmas with them.
“I lost my wife to cancer back in June and I’m still taking it hard..”
I can understand. To me the idea of that happening to us is a nightmare. Her mom died of cancer 1990 at about the age we are now. We both thank God every morning for the new day.
Best regards, and best wishes for your future
I don’t know. My dad was a minister, and Mom was the perfect preacher’s wife. They had been married 63 years when he died in 2008. That was the day Mom’s life began. Funny how similar situations can end so differently.
Were you Mom and Dad really close - I mean like still sweethearts like from when they first met?
Dear rv, you and your wife were so blessed to have each other. Thank you so much for sharing with the forum about the love you felt for her and the pic of you both in RMNP. It’s quite touching and brought tears to my eyes.
I know not the same as your situation, but my dad just passed on Nov. 27 so mortality is on my mind even more so than before. It changed me...I believe in a good way.
We are all in this together so it’s terrific you reached out.
I’m reminded of a quote from one of my favourite movies...Shadowlands with Anthony Hopkins and Debra Winger. He quotes in the end something his wife had said to him before she died (The pain now...)
“Why love if losing hurts so much. I have no answers anymore, only the life I have lived. Twice in that life I’ve been given the choice. As a boy and as a man. The boy chose safety, the man chooses suffering. The pain now is part of the happiness then. That’s the deal.”
What you are feeling is necessary and natural after such a loss. I hope for you comfort and peace.
“Were you Mom and Dad really close - I mean like still sweethearts like from when they first met?”
No; he was an asshole and she lived her life being verbally and emotionally abused every day. (All of us were.) The courting period was fine, and he couldn’t have been nicer. (Her three sisters confirm this.) Mom said he morphed to beast status about a month after their wedding.
I’ve worked with abused women, and this is very common.
What a handsome couple!
My sympathies, my FRiend. Anyone who has a happy marriage understands the strong bond between man and wife and the grief that is sure to come when it is broken - in this life, at least. But not in the eternal. You will see her again.
Yeah, I see - I think we’re kinda talkin’ two different areas a bit here.
I had more in mind couples who had spent many wonderful years together and couldn’t imagine being alone/apart. In those instances it seems that it’s not uncommon to hear of when one dies, the other follows not long after.
Sorry to hear your Mom (and your family) had to put up with such BS. While my family wasn’t exactly the Andersons from “Father Knows Best”, both my folks did the best they could.
And being that we were pretty much a “working poor”, big family that was good enough. I just wish I had shown as much appreciation to my folks as I realize/feel now.
You made the proverbial “beautiful couple”.
May God grant you peace and strength as you go on, carrying her memory.
Wardaddy, guys like y’all make the world a much better place.
FR friend Rochester, so sorry for your loss. She was more beautiful than the stars and moon put together I bet.
Seeing your photo made me think of this song.
“Please come to Denver with the snowfall
We’ll move up into the mountains so far that we can’t be found
And throw “I love you” echoes down the canyon
And then lie awake at night till they come back around
Please come to Denver
She said “No - boy, would you come home to me?”
I know you must miss her.
It happened to my Grandma’s neighbors. They were in their 80’s. When they told the husband at the hospital that his wife died, he went home and died.
A friend told me a story about her Grandmother. Grandma had a huge party, all her family and friends, cooked a huge spread. Told everyone “I’m gonna go now.” Went into her room and closed her door. When they went to check on her about an hour later, she was dead. What a great way to go!!
I think sometimes we realize we are tired, we’ve done all we can here and decide to explore the other side.
“I think sometimes we realize we are tired, we’ve done all we can here and decide to explore the other side.”
—
I think that’s true, at least with some people. Especially when some people get far along in years and see - as Johnny Cash sang in 9inch-nails “Hurt” - that “Everyone I know
goes away in the end”.
Pretty girl! Hubby and I are at 38 years (lived in Denver until about 4 years ago). We have spent all of our time together, except for about 20 years that we were apart for daily work. He quit his job at that time and came to work with me at my company and we have spent almost all our time in the same room. Completely attached.
Vet, I cannot think of how either one of us could survive without the other within inches. The pain you are feeling cannot be imagined and my heart goes out for you. Actually, it hurts for you. I will say a little prayer for you both. Time will pass and she will be there for you. She has not left you. She will always be with you in your heart.
We’re all here for you, whenever you need to talk.
I know any of us would happily reply to FReepmails.
You’re never alone here.
FReepers have kept me off the ledge more times than I want to admit.
They’ll pull you back in, too.
Shari
Plus one and tks
Thanks, FRiends, for your kind and consoling words! It’s going to be a rough Holidays, but my daughter, older son and his girlfriend will be coming over and we’ll be Facetiming with my younger son, his wife and my grandson, who live in Colorado. BTW, that’s where I met my wife, in Denver. We both worked at St. Joseph Hospital, where she caught my eye. I asked her out, but she had a policy of not dating men that she worked with. Technically, we didn’t work in the same place at St. Joe’s, she was a unit secretary and I worked in security, but she held fast! So what did I do? I quit my job at the hospital and took another job in construction. I threw a going away party for myself at a place called “Good Friends” on Colfax and invited my wife and she came and also bought a round of drinks and she finally agreed to date me! It was so worth it quitting my job over! :-)
You are blessed in having children to share sweet memories of good times, may you all make the holidays an unexpected, but special time.
Sounds like you were determined and made your own fate when it came to finding a wife!
Take good care.
THAT is awesome! No other word for it.
That’s a great story!
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