Posted on 04/26/2016 8:29:11 AM PDT by Uncle Miltie
How about something a little lighter!? Soviet humor, where we can all certainly use a laugh at the inhuman system of enslavement we helped defeat.
Find and post your own! Happy Tuesday ....
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This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What will be the results of the next elections?”
We’re answering: “Nobody can tell.” Somebody has stolen yesterday the exact results of the next elections from the office of the Central Committee of the USSR.”
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This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Will the police still exist when communism is built?”
We’re answering: “Of course, not. By that time, all citizens will have learned how to arrest themselves.”
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This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Why policemen always walk the streets in teams of three?”
We’re answering: “The partners in the police team are always chosen in such a way that one of them knows how to read, the other how to write, and the third one, naturally, has to keep watch over those two intellectuals.”
“We pretend to work and they pretend to pay us.”
L
The soviets decided it was time to have elections and they bought the old lever\curtain voting machines from the city of chicago.
Mayor Richard J Daley won by over 200 thousand votes.
in russia, soviet humor posts about you.
Argh!
Moose and Squirrel /russian accent
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As an aside, it's telling that so many of the old Soviet jokes apply to today's PC environment in the US.
I recall a propaganda story from the 70s. The soviet army placed an order for condoms to an American company. This order was for a batch of custom-sized prophylactics with outrageously enormous dimensions. The American company took their money and filled the order. They marked all the packages as “Regular”.
Yakov: “Did you know that Soviets have credit cards. We have Soviet Express. Their motto is “Don’t leave home”.
In Soviet Russia you are the joke. Great stuff at the link.
My uncle got 25 years of hard labor for yelling in Red Square that the Premier is an idiot. 5 years for insulting the Kremlin leader and 20 for telling a state secret.
Good ones, I’ll forward to a few Bernie supporters.
There’s a 10 year wait to buy a car in Russia, and you have to go through a long bureaucratic process to buy one, and put down the money for it up front.
So one day a man gets to the end of the process, puts his money down, and the bureaucrat says, “Okay, come back in 10 years to get your car.”
The man replies, “Morning or afternoon?”
“What do you mean, it’s 10 years from now, what difference does it make?”
“Well the plumber’s coming in the morning.”
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(Silence.)
It must be your delivery. ;)
Two judges leaving the courthouse at 5 o’clock. One is laughing to himself. The second one give him an inquiring look.
“Oh, sorry, I just heard the funniest joke.”
“Well, tell me!”
“I can’t - I just gave a guy ten years for it.”
After comrade Leonid died in, I think 1982 somebody asked head of the Presidium Andropov whether he thought, after so long as ‘president’ of the Soviet Union, that people would follow the new leader, Konstantin Chernenko. “Well,” Yuri replied, “they will either follow comrade Chernenko, or they will follow Brehznev!”
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