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Keyword: jokes

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • Post your own Soviet Humor (Vanity)

    04/26/2016 8:29:11 AM PDT · by Uncle Miltie · 66 replies
    One Hundred Russian Jokes ^ | 4/26/2016 | Various
    How about something a little lighter!? Soviet humor, where we can all certainly use a laugh at the inhuman system of enslavement we helped defeat. Find and post your own! Happy Tuesday .... ------------------------------- This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What will be the results of the next elections?” We’re answering: “Nobody can tell.” Somebody has stolen yesterday the exact results of the next elections from the office of the Central Committee of the USSR.” ------------------------------- This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Will the police still exist when communism is built?” We’re answering: “Of course, not....
  • JIm It's Time You Demand A Truce In Cruz/Trump War!

    03/30/2016 3:09:28 PM PDT · by OneVike · 698 replies
    Me
    Jim; Things have gotten way out of control here as of late. You know as well as most of us, that this war must end and end now, or your forum will end up being nothing more than a joke. I humbly suggest that you not just request, but demand, that everyone step back and take a serious look at the slanderous comments being made by both camps. Debate is one thing, but what is happening is no longer a debate. This forum is on the verge of a civil war. A war that need not happen. For the good...
  • (Vanity Joke)MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

    03/30/2016 4:48:10 AM PDT · by V K Lee · 89 replies
    n/a ^ | n/a | n/a
    Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a...
  • Laugh Factory Joke of the Day SUCKS!!!

    11/20/2015 9:50:27 AM PST · by amorphous · 30 replies
    Laugh Factory ^ | 20 Nov 2015 | Submitted By: mikayla davis
    Yo' Mama is so ugly, yo' daddy takes her to work with him so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
  • Ted Cruz’s Favorite Stump Speech Tool: Jokes

    10/15/2015 11:51:08 AM PDT · by Isara · 18 replies
    Time ^ | October 15, 2015 | Philip Elliott
    'The press conference at the White House was a little bit awkward. Every time a reporter addressed a question to Your Holiness, Obama answered.' Ted Cruz sometimes campaigns as though he were doing a set at The Improv. The junior Senator from Texas’ comedic timing is one of his sharper skills. So, too, are his impressions of figures as varied as the late President Reagan, radio host Mark Levin and journalist Sam Donaldson, not to mention The Simpsons characters, Darth Vader and JFK. His humor might also be his riskiest trait. Like former Republican presidential nominee Bob Dole, Cruz’s jokes...
  • And your best pirate joke is ???

    09/19/2015 7:43:04 AM PDT · by llevrok · 50 replies
    9/19/2015 | Me
    In "honor" of Talk Like A Pirate Day, What's your best or favorite pirate joke? Mine? A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel attached to his belt buckle. The bartender asks him what that's all about. "I don't know", says himself. "But's it's driving me nuts!"
  • Jerry Seinfeld: Politically correct college students 'don't know what the **** they're talking about

    06/10/2015 4:50:14 AM PDT · by SoFloFreeper · 15 replies
    Entertainment Weekly ^ | 6/8/15 | D. Falcone
    .....Jerry Seinfeld avoids doing shows on college campuses. And while talking with ESPN’s Colin Cowherd on Thursday, the comedian revealed why: College kids today are too politically correct. “I hear that all the time,” Seinfeld said on The Herd with Colin Cowherd. “I don’t play colleges, but I hear a lot of people tell me, ‘Don’t go near colleges. They’re so PC.’”
  • The Vernal Equinox of Beatifications?

    04/12/2015 4:50:11 PM PDT · by ebb tide · 12 replies
    The Remnant Newspaper ^ | 4/08/15 | John Ingram
    Cardinal Angelo Amato, Prefect of the Congregation for the Causes of Saints, has announced, on the heels of the recent beatification of Pope Paul VI, an exciting new candidate for beatification on the increasingly crowded Expressway to the Ever-Widening Gate of Heaven. It seems that Cardinal Walter Kasper, President Emeritus of the Pontifical Council for Promoting Christian Unity, has now introduced the cause of Annibale Bugnini, the architect of the highly-touted liturgical reform of Vatican II, to the Congregation. Kasper reportedly gave his permission to open an investigation into Abp. Bugnini’s virtues in response to repeated and urgent requests from...
  • Obamacare is costing way less than expected

    02/02/2015 4:15:07 PM PST · by goodnesswins · 55 replies
    VOX ^ | 2/2/15 | Ezra Klein
    In January 2010, the Congressional Budget Office projected that the federal health spending would total a bit more than $11 trillion between 2011 and 2020. Today, the Congressional Budget Office thinks it made a mistake. Costs are coming in lower-than-expected, and the CBO's newest projections suggest the federal government will spend $600 billion less on health care than they predicted back in 2010. So far, so good: projections are always wrong by at least a bit, and it's nice to have the extra $600 billion in America's pocket. But here's the incredible thing: as Paul Van de Water, a health...
  • SO WHO CAN YOU STILL JOKE ABOUT? A List of groups you can still safely make public jokes about

    12/16/2014 1:41:47 PM PST · by SeekAndFind · 122 replies
    Powerline ^ | 12/16/2014 | Steven Hayward
    I’ve been trying to come up with a list of nationalities or ethnic groups—even subgroups—about whom it is still safe to make a joke publicly, since political correctness is shrinking the domain down to the vanishing point. Before long you won’t be able to make jokes about “little green men” from Mars, for fear of offending illegal aliens “undocumented” immigrants. I’m not even sure you can joke about white people any more, like Martin Mull and Allen Rucker did 20 years ago in A History of White People in America. Not even Sony would risk publishing this right now. So...
  • Outrage over gossip mag’s free gay joke book (Italy)

    08/18/2014 1:04:15 PM PDT · by Olog-hai · 9 replies
    TheLocal,it ^ | 18 Aug 2014 11:45 GMT+02:00
    An Italian gossip magazine has sparked outrage after its latest edition was released with a free book containing jokes about gay people. The controversial giveaway, entitled “The Best Gay Jokes”, was attached to the latest edition of the weekly Italian gossip magazine Visto, La Stampa reported. Published in 2012 and ordinarily priced at €4.99, the book is part of a joke book series which also includes sexist jokes and jokes about Jews by Jews, among other taboo subjects. …
  • Are These The Reasons Jay Leno Is Gone From NBC?

    06/28/2014 12:14:26 PM PDT · by Stayfree · 64 replies
    email from a friend | June 28, 2014 | Self(vanity)
    News is leaking out from Hollywood executives in-the-know that the Obama White House had been leaning on, pressuring executives at NBC for the last two years to replace Jay Leno because the comedian was criticizing President Obama every night. Obama didn't like it and considered it a racist attack on him.
  • 21 Jokes That Only Conservatives Will Find Funny

    05/22/2014 6:11:16 AM PDT · by blueyon · 11 replies
    ijreview.com ^ | 5/20/14 | By Emily Hulsey
    It’s already been a crazy week around here, which means it’s the perfect time to take a break with a few jokes. And they’re all clean! Hope you enjoy: #1 – Did you hear about the new Obama Diet? You let Putin eat your lunch every day. #2 - How does Obama win the war on terror? He renames it! Its now the overseas contingency operation. #3 - Did you hear about the reporter who asked Obama a hard question? Neither have we! #4 - How many democrats does it take to change a light bulb? .........
  • Jew-Basher John Kerry Jokes About Donald Sterling at Yale Graduation

    05/18/2014 7:55:58 PM PDT · by Nachum · 31 replies
    The Gateway Pundit ^ | 5/18/14 | Jim Hoft
    Secretary of State John Kerry told a private audience in April that US ally Israel may wind up becoming an aparthed state. So it’s OK to bash the Jewish state.But Kerry joked about Donald Sterling this weekend in his address to Yale graduates.CNN reported: Secretary of State John Kerry slammed Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling in address to graduates at Yale University on Sunday.“You are graduating today as the most diverse class in Yale’s long history,” he said. “Or as they call it in the NBA, Donald Sterling’s worst nightmare.”Kerry made his remarks as the featured speaker at Yale’s...
  • 2 Good Jokes for today...

    05/16/2014 8:07:04 AM PDT · by US Navy Vet · 16 replies
    16 May 2014
    Joke One: What Do I Look Like? A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" "What do I look like, a plumber?" Asks the husband, and goes to sleep. A few days later, the wife once again turns to her husband and says, "honey, my car doesn't start, I think it may need a new battery, could you change it for me?". "What do I look like, a mechanic?" asks the...
  • Got any good April Fools Jokes?

    04/01/2014 5:24:05 AM PDT · by Gefn · 76 replies
    Me | April 1, 2014 | Me
    So far I've been pranked by Netflix and Google. I'm on the lookout for some more April Fools in the news.
  • Obama fires back: Lincoln ´loved´ racy jokes

    03/20/2014 6:12:45 PM PDT · by Nachum · 62 replies
    The Hill ^ | 3/20/14 | Justin Sink
    President Obama pushed back on criticism of his recent appearance with comedian Zach Galifianakis to promote the Affordable Care Act, noting that President Lincoln "loved telling the occasional bawdy joke." The president´s remarks, during an interview with ESPN Radio´s Colin Cowherd that aired Thursday, were an indirect jab at Fox News host Bill O´Reilly, who argued during a segment of his show earlier this month that the 16th president would never have agreed to such an appearance. "First of all, if you read back on Lincoln, he loved telling the occasional bawdy joke and being out among regular folks," Obama
  • Will you get these 20 jokes meant for really brainy people?

    03/12/2014 9:46:13 AM PDT · by The Looking Spoon · 162 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 3-12-14 | The Looking Spoon
    This has been making rounds. Some are really good, and the others I haven't gotten yet ;-P
  • A sensitive vegan

    03/03/2014 3:45:35 PM PST · by Paul46360 · 48 replies
    Me
    My 28 y/o vegan son was home this weekend and asked if we watched the show "The Miller", we said no. He said that he was watching it at the gym and they made fun of vegans and it hurt his feelings...IT was all I could do to NOT start in on the "See..now it's time you get the to hear it for a while. You want to live it..then suck it up."
  • Joe Biden says there's 'no obvious reason why I shouldn't run' for President

    02/07/2014 6:16:08 PM PST · by Windflier · 80 replies
    Mail Online ^ | 7 February 2014 | Meghan Keneally
    Vice President Joe Biden has now said that there is no reason for him not to run for president except for the fact that he likes driving his own car. 'There may be reasons why I don't run, but there's no obvious reason for me why I think I should not run,' Biden told CNN. Biden, who is 71 and will be 73 at the time of the next election, previously said that he and his wife, Dr Jill Biden, had not had a formal conversation about 2016 and this time he took a different tact in answering the same...
  • Obama jokes about beating Republicans with a hockey stick

    11/04/2013 9:00:03 PM PST · by Nachum · 61 replies
    youtube ^ | 11/4/13 | mfprex
    Vid at link
  • "#ObamacareSlogans" at Twitter

    10/24/2013 6:37:47 AM PDT · by RoosterRedux · 43 replies
    Here are some samples: #ObamacareSlogans: The quicker you die, the quicker you can vote Democrat. #ObamacareSlogans: Now accepting appointments for 2023. #ObamacareSlogans: Ask you doctor is a death panel is right for you. #ObamacareSlogans: At ACA, we don't make of lot of your healthcare products, we make your healthcare products worse. #ObamacareSlogans: Who needs a slogan with this EZ to remember phone number 1-800-F1UCKYO #ObamacareSlogans: Like a nosy neighbor, Obamacare is there. #ObamacareSlogans: Hey, you weren't that close to grandma anyway. #ObamacareSlogans: Because you are never too old to be aborted.
  • White House spokesman jokes about Islamic attacks on Christian churches in Egypt

    08/22/2013 7:01:36 AM PDT · by Morgana · 23 replies
    daily caller ^ | Neil Munro
    The White House’s deputy press secretary today downplayed Muslim attacks on Christians in Egypt, joking about the savagery that has left at least six Christians dead. Press secretary Josh Earnest was asked by Fox News’ correspondent, Ed Henry, if President Barack Obama has a “red line” beyond which he would act against Muslim attacks on Egyptian Christians. “Well, I didn’t bring my red pen out with me today,” Earnest joked. fter making his joke, Earnest said the administration is “outraged… and concerned” about the Muslim attacks on almost 100 churches, monasteries, orphanages and other marked Christian sites. Many Christians’ shops...
  • White House spokesman jokes about Islamic attacks on Christian churches in Egypt

    08/21/2013 3:27:43 PM PDT · by Nachum · 40 replies
    Daily Caller ^ | 8/21/13
    The White House’s deputy press secretary today downplayed Muslim attacks on Christians in Egypt, joking about the savagery that has left at least six Christians dead. Press secretary Josh Earnest was asked by Fox News’ correspondent, Ed Henry, if President Barack Obama has a “red line” beyond which he would act against Muslim attacks on Egyptian Christians. “Well, I didn’t bring my red pen out with me today,” Earnest joked. After making his joke, Earnest said the administration is “outraged… and concerned” about the Muslim attacks on almost 100 churches, monasteries, orphanages and other marked Christian sites. Many Christians’ shops...
  • Late-night comics use Jason Collins to make Wizards jokes

    04/30/2013 5:53:14 AM PDT · by SoFloFreeper · 39 replies
    Washington Post ^ | 4/30/13 | Dan Steinberg
    The news about Jason Collins brought the Wizards their largest burst of positive national publicity in years. When was the last time SI put a Wizard on its cover? When was the last time hundreds if not thousands of people across the country wrote of their intentions to buy a Wizards jersey? When was the last time CNN and “Good Morning America” wanted to talk to a Wizards player? ... Today Jason Collins of the Washington Wizards announced he is gay,” Conan O’Brien began. “That's a big story. Big story. He said ‘I don't know what's been tougher on my...
  • Reaganite's Sunday Funnies

    03/30/2013 10:08:21 PM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 1 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 31 March 2013 | Reaganite Republican
    More at Reaganite Republican...
  • Leno Taking Shots At NBC And Obama

    03/20/2013 5:00:13 PM PDT · by ConservativeMan55 · 43 replies
    Looks like Leno knows he's out so he's going scorched earth here. LOL "You know the whole legend of St. Patrick, right? St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland, and then they came into the United States and became NBC executives," Leno joked, as some in his studio audience gasped. "It's a fascinating story, a fascinating story. On Tuesday, Leno joked: "Did you hear about this? A 28-year-old woman from Serbia has a rare brain condition where she sees everything upside down. The good news? She's now been given a job at the White House as President Obama's...
  • Reaganite's Sunday Funnies

    02/24/2013 2:38:58 AM PST · by Reaganite Republican · 2 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 24 January 2013 | Reaganite Republican
    Best of political & other humor from around the USA this week... More at Reaganite Republican...
  • Disney world prank angers parents (Teachers' elaborate joke "really stupid judgment")

    02/21/2013 8:10:45 PM PST · by Dallas59 · 32 replies
    The Windsor Star ^ | 2/21/2013 | The Windsor Star
    Parents at a South Windsor school are expressing outrage after teachers led graduating students to believe they were heading to Disney World for a year-end trip - only to reveal the next day that the kids were the butt of an elaborate joke. One of the teachers recorded the scene on an iPad and it was later shown to another class so they too could join in the teachers' merriment. "I have a lot of respect for teachers and what they do, but this was really stupid judgment," said parent Peter To-polovec.
  • Reaganite's Sunday Funnies

    02/10/2013 3:56:00 AM PST · by Reaganite Republican · 1 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 10 February 2013 | Reaganite Republican
    More at Reaganite Republican...
  • Hump-Day Humor for P.O.'d Clingers

    01/30/2013 9:36:44 AM PST · by Reaganite Republican · 3 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 30 January 2013 | Reaganite Republican
    More at Reaganite Republican...
  • Reaganite's Sunday Funnies

    12/16/2012 4:24:29 AM PST · by Reaganite Republican · 1 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 16 December 2012 | Reaganite Republican
    More at Reaganite Republican... ___________________________________________   LMAObama  
  • Old Soviet jokes become the new American reality

    12/01/2012 10:13:25 PM PST · by Mount Athos · 52 replies
    The People's Cube ^ | 11/11/2012
    <p>At first the move to America from the former USSR made me feel as though I had made a jump in time, from the stagnant depraved past into a distant dynamic future.</p> <p>There was an abundance of commonly available futuristic contraptions, machines, and appliances that made everyday existence easier and more enjoyable. Less obvious but just as exciting was the media's openness: I no longer needed to read between the lines to know what was happening.</p>
  • (Take My Wives, Please) 1,000-Year-Old Muslim Joke Book Found

    12/01/2012 2:17:28 PM PST · by DogByte6RER · 30 replies
    Discovery News ^ | November 27, 2012 | Jennifer Viegas
    1,000-Year-Old Muslim Joke Book Found An 11th-century book by a revered Baghdad Muslim scholar turns out to be a tongue-in-cheek guide for party crashers, according to the researcher who translated the book into English. The tome was originally authored by al-Khatib al-Baghdadi, a well known scholar of the Prophet Mohammed's teachings. According to Emily Selove of the University of Manchester, who did the translation, he wrote the book to remind readers "that every serious minded person needs to take a break." She continued, "This book, which contains flirtation, profanity, and even a little drunkenness, is a lot of fun and...
  • Reaganite's Sunday Funnies

    11/18/2012 2:26:17 AM PST · by Reaganite Republican · 4 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 18 November 2012 | Reaganite Republican
    Best political humor/graphics from around the USA this week... More at Reaganite Republican _______________________________________________________________   Looking Spoon 
  • Joe Biden Jokes During Women's Breast Cancer Story (video)

    10/19/2012 1:07:39 PM PDT · by Nachum · 20 replies
    readability.com ^ | 10/19/12 | zip
    There is something seriously wrong with this guy.
  • NO FAT CHICKS! (Hump-Day Humor, etc)

    10/03/2012 5:00:29 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 5 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | October 3, 2012 | Reaganite Republican
    More (politically incorrect/NSFW/salty language) at Reaganite Republican... _____________________________________________________________________ h/t IAoH
  • Reaganite's Sunday Funnies

    09/30/2012 2:05:02 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 1 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | September 30, 2012 | Reaganite Republican
    More at Reaganite Republican _______________________________________ Baloo
  • Reaganite's Sunday Funnies

    09/23/2012 4:44:09 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 1 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | September 23, 2012 | Reaganite Republican
    More/video at Reaganite Republican ____________________________________________________   LMAObama  
  • Lobbyist close to White House behind effort of golfers to quell jokes about Obama

    09/21/2012 6:02:06 AM PDT · by TurboZamboni · 26 replies
    daily caller ^ | 9-21-12 | Alex Pappas
    A coalition of golf lovers are asking Republicans to stop making so many jokes about President Barack Obama’s love for the golf course, saying such comments are bad for the golf industry. But could politics be at play too? The Daily Caller has learned that Tony Podesta, a well-known Democratic lobbyist with strong ties to the Obama White House, is behind the We Are Golf coalition of golfing organizations that has sent letters to Republicans such as Florida Sen. Marco Rubio asking them to cut out the criticism of Obama’s golfing habits. Melissa Low, a spokeswoman for the Club Managers...
  • Reaganite's Sunday Funnies

    09/16/2012 2:16:32 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 2 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | September 16, 2012 | Reaganite Republican
    LMAObama   _______________________________________ More @ Reaganite Republican...
  • Obama Cracks Birther Joke With Young Hawaiian in Florida: ‘You Have a Birth Certificate?’

    09/09/2012 10:09:16 AM PDT · by Mozilla · 33 replies
    The Blaze ^ | 9/9/12 | Erica Ritz
    It’s that birther thing again. President Barack Obama was at an Orlando sports bar, snapping a University of Florida Gators’ sign, sipping a pint and working a crowd when he walked up to a table with five children. According to the Associated Press, one of the adults pointed to one of the boys– 7-year-old Andre Wupperman of Orlando– and informed the president that he was born in the president’s native state of Hawaii. The president, seemingly delighted, greeted the boy with a Shaka sign, the pinky and thumb gesture typical of Hawaiian culture. The boy gestured back. “You were born...
  • Obama Jokes About Birth Certificate Controversy (flashback video)

    08/24/2012 3:45:25 PM PDT · by Nachum · 6 replies
    Youtube ^ | 4/30/2011 | AP
    President Obama showed his skills as a comedian at the White House Correspondents' Association annual dinner, focusing mainly on Donald Trump. He made fun of the birth certificate controversy, and ribbed Trump about his presidential ambitions. (April 30)
  • Reaganite's Sunday Funnies

    08/19/2012 3:22:49 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 5 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | August 19, 2012 | Reaganite Republican
    Best of political humor from around the US this week... iowntheworld   More at Reaganite Republican...
  • Romney jokes at the expense of Brian Williams

    07/26/2012 5:19:06 PM PDT · by Nachum · 17 replies
    Washington Examiner ^ | 7/26/12 | Charlie Spiering
    In a rare, unscripted moment, Mitt Romney joked with Brian Williams after the famed NBC anchor asked the Republican presidential candidate would pick a “incredibly boring white guy” for Vice President, as reported by Politico. “You told me you were not available,” Romney said with a chuckle. “Touche, governor,” Williams responded.
  • Reaganite's Sunday Funnies

    07/14/2012 10:40:11 PM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 3 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | July 15, 2012 | Reaganite Republican
    Best political humor from around the USA this week... More at Reaganite Republican _____________________________________________________________ LMAObama 
  • Biden: 'Those Walls Were Awful Thin, I Wonder How the Hell My Parents Did It'

    07/10/2012 1:38:38 PM PDT · by Nachum · 30 replies
    Weekly Standard ^ | 7/10/12 | DANIEL HALPER
    "My mother said, and by the way, it was wonderful for children by the way--having your grandpop living with you, having your great aunt, your uncle, for real," Biden said. "Those walls were awful thin, I wonder how the hell my parents did it! But that's a different story. I know you don't anything about that. I know none of you in your families have done the same thing."
  • Reaganite's Sunday Funnies

    07/08/2012 2:04:12 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 1 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | July 8 , 2012 | Reaganite Republican
    Best of political humor from around the USA this week... More at Reaganite Republican... _________________________________________ It'sBigFurHat
  • Joke of the day

    07/03/2012 7:09:07 AM PDT · by US Navy Vet · 14 replies
    3 July 2012 | US Navy Vet
    BOOK REPORT One student turned in the following book report, With the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report. Titanic:.... Cost - $29.99 Clinton :..... Cost - $29.99 Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read Clinton :.... Over 3 hours to read Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. Clinton :... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. Titanic:.... Jack is a starving artist. Clinton :..... Bill is a bullshirt artist. Titanic:.... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar....
  • Reaganite's Sunday Funnies

    07/01/2012 1:48:03 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 1 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | July 1 , 2012 | Reaganite Republican
    More at Reaganite Republican _____________________________________________________________    LMAObama