Posted on 02/12/2016 4:45:22 AM PST by Lucky9teen
Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me.
Can I tie your shoe? Because I can't have you fall for anyone else.
I want our love to be like pi, irrational and never ending.
I need some answers for my math homework. Quick. What's your number?
If you stood in front of a mirror and held up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
Hey baby are you a broom? 'Cause you just swept me off my feet!
Do you have a name or can I call you mine?
If you stood in front of a mirror and held up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
I want our love to be like pi, irrational and never ending.
Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you.
I'm learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them?
Even if there wasn't any gravity on earth, I would still fall for you!
Me without you is like a nerd without braces, A shoe without laces, aSentenceWithoutSpaces.
Kissing burns 5 calories a minute. How about a workout?
Know what's on the menu? Me-n-u. 
I'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you.
What's your favorite silverware?..because I like to spoon!
A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 real, 1 fake and he says to her " I will stop loving you when all the roses die"
I've got skittles in my mouth, wanna taste the rainbow?
If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard.
I'll be Burger King and you be McDonald's. I'll have it my way, and you'll be lovin' it.
Is there a science room nearby, or am I just sensing the chemistry between us?
Is your dad an art thief? Because you're a masterpiece.
Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
If you ask Thomas Paine, he'll tell you that dating me is Common Sense.
Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!
On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?
It's a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!!
If you were a browser, you'd be called FireFoxy.
Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!
Chemists do it on the table periodically.
If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.
If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you.
Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
I'm not being obtuse but you're acute girl.
If beauty were measured in seconds, you'd be an hour!
You are the HCl to my NaOH. With our sweet love we could make an ocean together.
You must be made of uranium and iodine because all I can see is U and I together.
If you were a triangle youd be acute one.
My love for you is like dividing by zero-- it cannot be defined.
Do you have 11 protons? Cause your sodium fine.
You're sweeter than 3.14
Are you the square root of -1? Because you can't be real.
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
You're lookin' sharp, so let's go back to my flat and get natural.
You must be from Tennassee! Because you are the only TEN I see!
Great legs. What time do they open?
Good lord where is that?
I don’t know. Just found the video on a random site. Looks like somewhere in asia.
Are you sure you’re names not homework? Cause I feel like I should be doing you, but I’m not.
~Dennis Miller
A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange:
Officer:" May I see your driver's license?"
Biker:" I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI."
Officer:" May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?"
Biker:" It's not my bike. I stole it."
Officer:" The motorcycle is stolen?"
Biker:" That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there."
Officer: "There's a gun in the tool bag?"
Biker: "Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the dude who owns this bike and stuffed his dope in the saddle bags."
Officer:" There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?"
Biker:" Yes, sir."
Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the biker to handle the tense situation:
Captain:" Sir, can I see your license?"
Biker:" Sure. Here it is. It was valid."
Captain:" Who's motorcycle is this?"
Biker:" It's mine, officer. Here's the registration."
Captain:" Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?"
Biker:" Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it."
Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.
Captain:" Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them."
Biker:" No problem."
The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.
Captain:" I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags."
Biker:" Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too!
I remember driving around North Georgia, and seeing a roadside stand with a sign offering “Balled P-nuts”...
...or a ‘Fiesta’ along the tracks in Indio or Coachella.
She ain’t in no way tarred?
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