Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Been long time since I've seen an arthropod I could approach on a level of empathy.
Now, cephalopods, that's a different story.
It made me think of Kafka’s “Metamorphosis.” I’ll probably have nightmares.
I particularly like the chambered nautilus.
Is it Monday?
Has to be.. Trash pickup is Monday. Which was today. Or something like that.
However since the normal pattern of things was disrupted, trash didn’t get put out Sunday night (because Monday was not a real Monday but a Holiday instead) it should have been put out last night (because today is Monday by Waste Management’s calendar since yesterday was not Monday) but since last night was not Sunday night but Holiday night instead, the Normal Order Of Things had no reminder function that covered the ‘take the trash out’ factor. In its place was a nagging feeling that something had been left undone when I went to bed...
The resolution of that nagging feeling occurred at approximately 11:22 today when I heard the truck drive past after stopping at the neighbors...
On top of all that Frontier is messing with the interwebs and our connection keeps resetting. The last time it reset was 3 minutes and 42 seconds ago...
So it’s acting like a Monday in this corner of the world.
Sorry about the trash day snafu. I made Bill and Tom get up to take ours out this morning, but it looks like they’re not going to pick up today. Oh, well. They should get up anyway!
I have a library book due today, and I can’t renew it because it’s wait-listed, so I guess I’m headed for the library followed by the Walmart.
Well..
That means that both containers (the trash trash and the recycle trash) will be brimfull come normal take-the-trash-out time (aka Sunday night - well it could be Monday morning early but hauling trash down the driveway at 0 dark 30 Monday mornings interferes with horizontal repose time.)
Also means that the trash trash will REALLY be full. We can get away with not putting out the recycle trash sometimes - usually when it is windy because that container full of lightweight stuff gets blown over by windy winds and clutters the yard with plastics and cardboards - but it will be full after two weeks...
We pay double to the city for two garbage bins.
As Lucas is the Prince of Darkness, know as such in the dim past, I present a more current tech demon,
Signym Mortis, death lord of cables and connectors.
Behold that terrible visage and know your puny efforts are to no avail. Behold, screech and wail like a 2400 baud modem, you are doomed.
Hm, it sounds almost worth the senior discount. I’m thinking I’d be one of the grave diggers. That, or feathers.
Once upon a time we didn’t need to separate the trash trash from the recycle trash, the wastemanagement folks separated it back at where-ever it was.
Then the government, which is here to help us, mandated it be separated and separately collected. So we got a second trash container that sported a green lid in which to deposit those plastique and cardboardy and tincanlike stuffs.
And the monthly fee has been climbing ever since..
I knew there was something horrible going on behind the desk. Shannon told me.
Being a macaw could be fun.
...and pack rats ran off with the cans.
I always preferred the “Walk outside and shout” method.
Which worked admirably until the appearance of teenagers who have a genetic inability to hear parental shouts...
Well yeah... you're a mom. Moms always get prioriy over ride privileges on such calls.
When one heard one's mom shout one's full name... Well.
As a teen ager, I found that the “defective receiver, poor reception” excuse NEVER worked. Told to read the fine print in the EULA.
Just as I sat down, Sussette, who used to be my PCA, called and asked me to go to lunch with her, so we went to the little Chinese restaurant just down the street. And I caught her up on all the news that’s fit to print, as well as that which is so ugly and caused such deep pain for quite some time. I’d tell you what she thought about it all, but I don’t speak Tagalog...
So I’m back in and kinda sad, now, and wish I hadn’t told her anything.
I finally got the clothes folded, and will try to hang in there for another hour or two before heading for bed. It’s hard to tell anyone how awful I feel when I can’t take my meds as usual. :o|
Our trash gets picked up on Tuesdays and Saturdays, holidays or not. That’s the union in Las Vegas for ya!
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