My girlfriend and I worked on this response together. . .
Dear proud American in Canada,
This sounds so trite, but please do not think that by saying this, that this is my intent. Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems.
Your black lab, Ellie, would be distraught if you did something to yourself. In addition, your husband will definitely need some emotional support while going thru his heart surgery. I am certain he will likely do well, as the physicians have this down to a fine science; and have perfected it since it was first performed since WWII.
Do you know of any good handymen/neighbors that can assist you with your home? At times, I have had to trade my professional services for someone’s trade. Perhaps there is someone in your neighborhood who needs a living will or trust set up for their family and/or family members that you can barter and have someone repair your home. These are solutions you can provide in exchange for the work you need done.
Do you have a date scheduled for the dept of motor vehicles as yet? I would contact them and explain the reason why you need to move your appointment schedule to renew your driver’s license as soon as possible due to family hardship. If they won’t, I would then call a discharge coordinator at the hospital, who is usually a Registered Nurse, to inquire about transporation services in your area to get your husband to and from the hospital and physician appointments post operatively while you are attempting to arrange an appt with motor vehicles to obtain your license again.
I have heard that “cutters” feel a great sense of relief from the pressures of everyday life, when they cut themselves. However, this is still not a healthy way to deal with stress. Neither is playing with guns, taking drugs, drinking, gambling, over eating, you name it. It is all the knee jerk reaction to stress.
Is there anyone you can call to discuss and destress yourself? A good friend who will just listen? Sometimes you just have to let it all out, as it were. Bad things happen to good people. I would encourage you to contact a crisis line in your area…..they have experience in having crisis personnel to assist you while you are bearing such a load. Many times, inertia occurs because there is so much to do, that you don’t know what to do first. Rome wasn’t conquered in a day, remind yourself of that. one step at a time, one minute at a time. sometimes it just has to be this way. again, its transitory……please remind yourself of this.
Proud American, my girlfriend suffers from depression and has described her life as various shades of blue……sometimes a very light, bright sky blue, and then sometimes as inky as a night sky, all enveloping, like she is being swallowed whole. Again, she has to remind herself on her darkest days, that there will be light. and yes, it could be a train at the end of that tunnel, but in the meantime, she will keep going on those tracks until she can figure it out.
Who knows? It may be the Watchman coming to help!!
Stress can cause chemical imbalances in the brain. . . perhaps you should have some actual tests done to see if your problems are not something that can be helped by adjusting those imbalances. You might be surprised. I know that none of us want to find we have a problem that drugs might help. . . but it is better than taking one’s life. Counseling can be a big help too.
You’ve called out for help and we hope we have given you some in our small way.
We hold out the best hopes for you. . . and pray for you too. We are convinced that the world is a better place with Proud American in Canada still walking on it. . . and not in the ground. Keep walking, please.
Swordmaker and Kathy.
God wouldn’t send his Son to save someone who’s life wasn’t worth anything to Him. Remember that even in your darkest time, if you were the only one on Earth, he would have come to save you.
People can let you down in so many ways, and times can be hard, but remember that there is someone who cares for you more than any other.
And remember that the rest of the Freeper prayer army will be there for you. Many of us are thousands of miles away, but will be with you in prayer and in spirit.
Hang in there, you are loved.
I don’t really like to express much about my personal life on an online forum, but I would like to say something that might help you. Over two years ago I was diagnosed with cancer on both kidneys and on my pancreas. I didn’t think that I would be around very long and I prayed for a little time to settle my affairs and to try to help my wife and son prepare for when I would no longer be around. The most important thing then was time. I just wanted some time.
Fortunately there was a drug available that was fairly new and was used to treat kidney cancer. The drug did not cure the cancer but it pretty much stopped it from spreading and even reduced it in some areas.
Recently I had a change on my pancreas which meant that the drug might be running it’s course and now I have to change over to another drug. I am not sure if this drug is going to work as well, but looking back I realized that I was given what I had prayed for, time. Over two years. I look at time now as a very precious commodity. At night I thank God for giving me another day and in the morning I thank Him for giving me another opportunity to experience life.
Maybe you haven’t done what you were planning because deep down you realize that there is something in your your life that is important. And maybe with a little more time you can work it out. Time is your best friend. I wish you well.
I have to go somewhere now but I'll send you a private message later.
I never let those stupid hospital rules stop me from being with my love. Not sure what hogwash they got up there in Canada and now this is just me but I would go to the hospital and not take no for an answer.
Can you call your husbands room or his nurses station?
Mat 11:28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Mat 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
Mat 11:30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
You seem to have forgotten about your husband and your two children. Yet it's only your dog? Really?
That aside, the suicide pros and cons title makes it sound like you're looking for attention ... not like you're really serious about ending your life.
Here's a news flash - if you do it you will hurt, until the day they die, the people that care about you the most.
God has placed you on this Earth for a reason!
Don’t second guess Him! He’ll call you to your appointed task in His own good time.
Meanwhile, I’m praying for you. There is much fellowship for you here. All of us are the same as you, created in the image of God. Each of us was gifted with a body that is the temple of the Holy Spirit.
God intended that we each should depart this Earth only in the natural fullness of time. He loves you and you are never alone!
I love how this community responds. I love the way you reached out and I see benefited from others concerns and help; and remember God is with you.
I want you to remember mirth, courage, irony and this advice:
< img src=”http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SJUhlRoBL8M;”/>
So, what would Ellie do? You are all she has............
Watch this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1T5uMeYv9Q
David Burns - Feeling Good.
Only 18 minutes and it’s a great place to start.
I’ve been amazed at how well this works.
It is a serious sin. Don’t do it.
I hope you’ll get some help ASAP. Please call a crisis hotline. TONITE.
Something I would also suggest is getting to a good family Doctor and talk about what you’re going through There are several things they can do, including put you on antidepressants. Depression is usually a chemical imbalance and it CAN be successfully treated. If you had strep throat, you’d take penicillin. Depression is far deadlier. Please get it treated and stay with your husband, your dog, and the rest of us for awhile longer.
Prayers are already up for you.
“God heals the broken hearts and binds up their sorrows.”
(Psalm 147:3)
God be with you! Jesus is your brother, he has bore the brunt of all our sins. There is no return from suicide! Pray my sister!
I lost 4 children to the pit of hell years ago and found Christ as a replacement with a determination to fight evil whenever I can.
Do not give up, let it be what gives you a new energy. People to whom nothing happen know nothing and are virtually dead. To those that bad things happen, they can tell the story and have a newfound life.
Private Message me if you want to tell stories, it is the only way to resilience, writing and praying.
Hi.
I’m going to tell you something I’ve not shared with anyone here. I’m a suicide survivor. I attempted it once and it was by the grace of G-d and my guardian angel I’m here, I shouldn’t be. And I’m grateful.
I also self harmed too in HS, college and grad school, as well as bulimic.
I realized one thing by almost dying. It wasn’t my time and life is very very precious.
The fact that you are here, asking for help is a good sign. That’s the part of you the wants to live. Hold on to iit. It’s stronger than the part that wants to die.
Here’s something to think about. Tonight is bad but tomorrow will be better. Meanwhile you have Ellie. You have a husband and children. You have grand babies to look forward to. You have a law degree. That is so much to have accomplished. Do you see how amazing and smart you are?.
You are just going through a bad patch, we all go through them. Life always will kick us in the cahones when we are down but by this we can appreciate the good and wonderful.
Hang in there sweetie. It gets better. Hold Ellie tight and give her a kiss from me.
^
Prayer and B12 will take the edge off.
Absolutely no alcohol allowed until your burdens are relieved.
Most churches of any size have outreach programs for all your different circumstances.
This too shall pass.