Posted on 02/25/2015 11:51:49 PM PST by Slings and Arrows
Got a plan for what you’d do if a zombie outbreak led to the total collapse of civilisation?
Bad news – you are almost certainly doing it wrong.
Simply hiding inside buildings – or God forbid, running around smashing in zombie skulls with a baseball bat – is a terrible idea, Cornell University researchers revealed after running the first ‘complete’ mathematical simulation.
The best way to survive is actually to run for country areas – in particular sparsely populated mountains (the researchers give the example of the Rockies, but the Cairngorms ought to do it).
By all means ignore the hordes of the undead and watch CNN The Cornell team ran a simulation on a real map of America, with 300 million people, using techniques used to model real epidemics.
‘At their heart, the simulations are akin to modeling chemical reactions taking place between different elements and, in this case, we have four states a person can be in—human, infected, zombie, or dead zombie—with approximately 300 million people,’ says Cornell’s Alex Alemi.
‘Given the dynamics of the disease, once the zombies invade more sparsely populated areas, the whole outbreak slows down—there are fewerhumans to bite, so you start creating zombies at a slower rate,’ he says – recommending that people should head for nearby mountains if there actually is a zombie outbreak.
It is very unlikely that the dead will return from their graves to devour the flesh of the living – but you may be surprised to learn that official plans have been prepared just in case.
The U.S. Centres for Disease Control and, more bizarrely, Bristol City Council, provide advice with dealing with reanimated corpses.
Buy handcuffs and a stun gun
We don’t have guns in the UK, so Bristol City Council recommends improvising weapons to deal with both the infected and the undead.
Stock up on supplies
America’s Centres of Disease Control suggest zombie outbreaks are much like any other pandemic – so ‘waiting out’ periods of acute infection, with a big stock of supplies, is a good strategy.
Wait for the government to find a cure
According to CDC plans, they ‘would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak’ if ‘zombies did start roaming the streets’.
Buy a protective suit
Buying an Ebola-style protective suit is a good idea, Bristol’s City Council suggests .
Isolate your family somewhere safe
America’s Centre for Disease Control director Dr Ali Khan notes: “If you are generally well equipped to deal with a zombie apocalypse you will be prepared for a hurricane, pandemic, earthquake, or terrorist attack.”
As long as zombies can’t swim, get yourself an island.
Consider that water your moat.
LOL! And they will label you a intolerant, hateful, bigoted, zombiephobe, and since you are also going around armed, they will probably also place you on the terrorist watch list.
They don't have to swim, they can walk on the bottom. They're already dead so they don't need to breathe.
A drink and dinner?
Of course, you mean an UNINHABITED island....
An island can be cleared (as could a mall).
George Romero himself show two such survivor camps in his movies (Day of the Dead and Survival of the Dead).
The dead on the island in Survival are ‘family’.
AHAHAHA ...ABSOLUTELY!
all he lacks is the fuel ...
Death cures everything.
Yeah, but the side effects are a real b****.
That’s what happens when you loaf around.
“Juan of the Dead” actually had a good portrayal of surviving a zombie apocalypse minus guns. (It is set in Cuba.)
People arm up with hammers, poles, machetes, slingshots, whatever lets you destroy the brain with minimal risk of being bitten, not needing to be maintained or reloaded (they had no ammo or guns).
Cornell has a lot of experience with the campus Zombies i'm sure
No Kidding. I damn near forgot Zombies existed! Thanks for the ping.
Ear plugs? Suppressors aren’t that quiet.
But I’d take the weapon!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.