Posted on 08/29/2014 7:09:35 PM PDT by Robwin
The U.S. Forest Service on Friday published a nearly 700-word article on how to safely roast marshmallows, all in preparation for Saturday, which is National Roasted Marshmallow Day.
As one might expect, the article is riddled with safety tips that might make you think twice about even carrying matches into the forest at all, let alone actually igniting a marshmallow and putting your familys life at risk.
First, lets talk safety, the article says. Never start a campfire when there are fire restrictions in place. The restrictions are put in place for your safety and for the safety of others.
It also warns that children should be given a stern talking-to before any of the fun begins.
Some experts advocate a 10-foot rule between young children and a campfire, it reads. For more information about campfire safety, let Smokey Bear guide you.
Finally, the article gets down to marshmallow basics, and starts by recommending the use of a roasting stick of at least 30 inches. Thats two and a half feet, or about half as long or more as the children roasting the marshmallows.
The Forest Service admits that most people use roasted marshmallows to make smores, and even offers detailed instructions for making one. But it then suggests ways to make smores healthy.
Think fruit, it suggests without any hint that its joking around.
Grill thin slices of pineapple and substitute chocolate for the sweet, warm fruit, it reads. You will still get a tasty treat but by substituting with fruit, it is healthier as long as you watch the amount of marshmallows used. If you want to cut down even more on calories, try using slices of angel food cake instead of graham crackers.
(Excerpt) Read more at theblaze.com ...
Our tax dollars at work.
Obummer is a marshmallow.
The $4,000,000,000,000 federal government is not only unconstitutional but stupider than ever.
I’m sure it takes a certain finesse.
With the kids ten feet away from the fire and using two and a half foot long sticks, those marshmallows are really going to take a long, long time to roast. :=)
It seems frivolous and wasteful, but there really are a lot of very stupid people running around. Unfortunately, they don’t do a lot of reading. They think Independence Day is actually the Fourth of July, and it is a day when people do fireworks. There are lots of fires on July 4th.
Every kid worth his salt has at least one scar from a flaming marshmallow, and a story to go along with it.
My new tagline!
Think Fruit? I think the writer is a fruit...
If you overcook marshmallows they’ll stink like a smelly obama.
Now wonder.
And be sure to slightly warm your angel food cake/pineapple/marshmallow s'mores over a solar oven so your snacking doesn't harm Mother Earth.
Also remember that any spotted owls caught in the sizzle zone of the solar oven doesn't count against endangered species regulations.
Step 2: Carefully light match.
Step 3: Carefully set afire this idiotic federal manual.
LOL my dad explained to me ever so subtly to not sling the flaming marshmallow at my brother.
I don’t roast marshmallows. Their not sugary enough. I roast peeps. They make great s’mores.
Angel food cake is healthier than a graham cracker? Tell me another one Josephine.
It is HIGHLY inappropriate for THE BLAZE to be publishing such self-serving articles!!!!
Don’t even THINK about toasting a marshmallow in my neck of the woods.
My fingers were literally on the keyboard ready to type that when I saw your post.
HAHAHAHA!
.
WHAT????
No climate change warning on releasing carbon or planting trees after marshmallow roasting to offset the climate-harmful activity?
I’m shocked. Shocked, i say...
/s
Ten foot rule?
I suppose I CAN make a campfire capable of roasting marshmallows at that distance.
Not that I have a talent with campfire pyromancy.
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