[Robwin]

And any of you rebellious Freepers who are planning on getting together with the kids or grandkids to roast marshmallows had better read this and follow the advice, or...or...well, I don't know exactly what, but it will be really bad. Hey, this is only for your own good because you know how stupid you are.

[doc1019]

Our tax dollars at work.

[bunkerhill7]

Obummer is a marshmallow.

[PapaNew]

The $4,000,000,000,000 federal government is not only unconstitutional but stupider than ever.

[Romulus]

I’m sure it takes a certain finesse.

[Bob]

With the kids ten feet away from the fire and using two and a half foot long sticks, those marshmallows are really going to take a long, long time to roast. :=)

[webheart]

It seems frivolous and wasteful, but there really are a lot of very stupid people running around. Unfortunately, they don’t do a lot of reading. They think Independence Day is actually the Fourth of July, and it is a day when people do fireworks. There are lots of fires on July 4th.

[rlmorel]

Every kid worth his salt has at least one scar from a flaming marshmallow, and a story to go along with it.

My new tagline!

[ExCTCitizen]

Think Fruit? I think the writer is a fruit...

[onedoug]

If you overcook marshmallows they’ll stink like a smelly obama.

Now wonder.

[KarlInOhio]

And be sure to slightly warm your angel food cake/pineapple/marshmallow s'mores over a solar oven so your snacking doesn't harm Mother Earth.

Also remember that any spotted owls caught in the sizzle zone of the solar oven doesn't count against endangered species regulations.

[Flycatcher]

Step1: Carefully remove match from matchbook.

Step 2: Carefully light match.

Step 3: Carefully set afire this idiotic federal manual.

[cyclotic]

I don’t roast marshmallows. Their not sugary enough. I roast peeps. They make great s’mores.

Angel food cake is healthier than a graham cracker? Tell me another one Josephine.

[G Larry]

It is HIGHLY inappropriate for THE BLAZE to be publishing such self-serving articles!!!!

[Argus]

Don’t even THINK about toasting a marshmallow in my neck of the woods.

[logi_cal869]

WHAT????

No climate change warning on releasing carbon or planting trees after marshmallow roasting to offset the climate-harmful activity?

I’m shocked. Shocked, i say...

/s

[CrazyIvan]

I wonder if it warns that almost all marshmallows contain a pork fat derivative and are not halal.

[Darksheare]

Ten foot rule?
I suppose I CAN make a campfire capable of roasting marshmallows at that distance.
Not that I have a talent with campfire pyromancy.

[Flash Bazbeaux]

My kids couldn’t even wait. They were roasting them on the gas burner on the kitchen stove this evening.

It’s off to the forest tomorrow.

“Some experts advocate a 10-foot rule between young children and a campfire,” “

Experts at what?

I learned this young, and have verified it a few times:

White man make big fire. Burn’m belly, freeze’m @ss.

Indian make little fire. Sit on top. Keep warm all over.

If you do it right you can actually pile up stones and sit on top.

Or you can sort of curl up around it.

[MasterGunner01]

Have the bureaucrat who wrote the instructions actually do the task without: 1) burning the marshmallows or 2) setting himself on fire. My bet is on No. 2.

[Lurker]

Cut their budget by a third. Immediately.