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Government publishes detailed instructions on how to safely roast marshmallows
The Blaze ^ | Aug. 29, 2014 | Pete Kasperowicz

Posted on 08/29/2014 7:09:35 PM PDT by Robwin

The U.S. Forest Service on Friday published a nearly 700-word article on how to safely roast marshmallows, all in preparation for Saturday, which is National Roasted Marshmallow Day.

As one might expect, the article is riddled with safety tips that might make you think twice about even carrying matches into the forest at all, let alone actually igniting a marshmallow and putting your family’s life at risk.

“First, let’s talk safety,” the article says. “Never start a campfire when there are fire restrictions in place. The restrictions are put in place for your safety and for the safety of others.”

It also warns that children should be given a stern talking-to before any of the “fun” begins.

Some experts advocate a 10-foot rule between young children and a campfire,” it reads. “For more information about campfire safety, let Smokey Bear guide you.”

Finally, the article gets down to “marshmallow basics,” and starts by recommending the use of a roasting stick “of at least 30 inches.” That’s two and a half feet, or about half as long or more as the children roasting the marshmallows.

The Forest Service admits that most people use roasted marshmallows to make s’mores, and even offers detailed instructions for making one. But it then suggests ways to make s’mores healthy.

“Think fruit,” it suggests without any hint that it’s joking around.

“Grill thin slices of pineapple and substitute chocolate for the sweet, warm fruit,” it reads. “You will still get a tasty treat but by substituting with fruit, it is healthier – as long as you watch the amount of marshmallows used. If you want to cut down even more on calories, try using slices of angel food cake instead of graham crackers.”

(Excerpt) Read more at theblaze.com ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Outdoors
KEYWORDS: govtstupidity; marshmallows
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And any of you rebellious Freepers who are planning on getting together with the kids or grandkids to roast marshmallows had better read this and follow the advice, or...or...well, I don't know exactly what, but it will be really bad. Hey, this is only for your own good because you know how stupid you are.
1 posted on 08/29/2014 7:09:35 PM PDT by Robwin
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To: Robwin

Our tax dollars at work.


2 posted on 08/29/2014 7:11:04 PM PDT by doc1019
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To: Robwin

Obummer is a marshmallow.


3 posted on 08/29/2014 7:12:16 PM PDT by bunkerhill7 ("The Second Amendment has no limits on firepower"-NY State Senator Kathleen A. Marchione.")
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To: Robwin

The $4,000,000,000,000 federal government is not only unconstitutional but stupider than ever.


4 posted on 08/29/2014 7:12:25 PM PDT by PapaNew (The grace of God & freedom always win the debate over unjust law & government in the forum of ideas)
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To: marshmallow

I’m sure it takes a certain finesse.


5 posted on 08/29/2014 7:18:50 PM PDT by Romulus
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To: Robwin

With the kids ten feet away from the fire and using two and a half foot long sticks, those marshmallows are really going to take a long, long time to roast. :=)


6 posted on 08/29/2014 7:19:56 PM PDT by Bob
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To: Robwin

It seems frivolous and wasteful, but there really are a lot of very stupid people running around. Unfortunately, they don’t do a lot of reading. They think Independence Day is actually the Fourth of July, and it is a day when people do fireworks. There are lots of fires on July 4th.


7 posted on 08/29/2014 7:21:47 PM PDT by webheart (We are all pretty much living in a fiction.)
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To: Robwin

Every kid worth his salt has at least one scar from a flaming marshmallow, and a story to go along with it.

My new tagline!


8 posted on 08/29/2014 7:24:54 PM PDT by rlmorel ("Every kid worth his salt has one scar from a flaming marshmallow, and a story to go along with it.")
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To: Robwin

Think Fruit? I think the writer is a fruit...


9 posted on 08/29/2014 7:31:42 PM PDT by ExCTCitizen (I'm ExCTCitizen and I approve this reply. If it does offend Libs, I'm NOT sorry...)
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To: Robwin

If you overcook marshmallows they’ll stink like a smelly obama.

Now wonder.


10 posted on 08/29/2014 7:48:21 PM PDT by onedoug
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To: Robwin

And be sure to slightly warm your angel food cake/pineapple/marshmallow s'mores over a solar oven so your snacking doesn't harm Mother Earth.

Also remember that any spotted owls caught in the sizzle zone of the solar oven doesn't count against endangered species regulations.

11 posted on 08/29/2014 7:59:54 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (The IRS: either criminally irresponsible in backup procedures or criminally responsible of coverup.)
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To: Robwin
Step1: Carefully remove match from matchbook.

Step 2: Carefully light match.

Step 3: Carefully set afire this idiotic federal manual.

12 posted on 08/29/2014 8:05:52 PM PDT by Flycatcher (God speaks to us, through the supernal lightness of birds, in a special type of poetry.)
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To: rlmorel

LOL my dad explained to me ever so subtly to not sling the flaming marshmallow at my brother.


13 posted on 08/29/2014 8:10:50 PM PDT by Lurkina.n.Learnin (It's a shame nobama truly doesn't care about any of this. Our country, our future, he doesn't care)
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To: Robwin

I don’t roast marshmallows. Their not sugary enough. I roast peeps. They make great s’mores.

Angel food cake is healthier than a graham cracker? Tell me another one Josephine.


14 posted on 08/29/2014 8:12:01 PM PDT by cyclotic (Join America's premier outdoor adventure association for boys-traillifeusa.com)
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To: Robwin

It is HIGHLY inappropriate for THE BLAZE to be publishing such self-serving articles!!!!


15 posted on 08/29/2014 8:12:35 PM PDT by G Larry (I'm tired of people not recognizing sarcasm!)
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To: Robwin

Don’t even THINK about toasting a marshmallow in my neck of the woods.


16 posted on 08/29/2014 8:18:14 PM PDT by Argus
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To: ExCTCitizen

My fingers were literally on the keyboard ready to type that when I saw your post.

HAHAHAHA!

.


17 posted on 08/29/2014 8:19:05 PM PDT by TLI ( ITINERIS IMPENDEO VALHALLA)
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To: Robwin

WHAT????

No climate change warning on releasing carbon or planting trees after marshmallow roasting to offset the climate-harmful activity?

I’m shocked. Shocked, i say...

/s


18 posted on 08/29/2014 8:26:10 PM PDT by logi_cal869
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To: Robwin
I wonder if it warns that almost all marshmallows contain a pork fat derivative and are not halal.
19 posted on 08/29/2014 8:27:02 PM PDT by CrazyIvan (I lost my phased plasma rifle in a tragic hovercraft accident.)
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To: Robwin; NoCmpromiz; DJ MacWoW

Ten foot rule?
I suppose I CAN make a campfire capable of roasting marshmallows at that distance.
Not that I have a talent with campfire pyromancy.


20 posted on 08/29/2014 8:27:57 PM PDT by Darksheare (Try my coffee! First one's free..... Even robots will kill for it!)
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