Posted on 03/30/2013 7:29:39 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet
FNN exclusive: FNN has learned that the MSM will be increasing their overseas recruiting for news readers, reporters and unbiased consultants.
Because these positions require low brain function and a total lack of honesty, integrity, ethics and morals; people with these qualifications are also in great demand by other professions such as: law, politics, government, environmental and climate science, university professors, union leaders and thugs, Hollywood actors and directors, and community organizers.
MSM recruiters have determined that third world countries have a surplus of people with the desired characteristics. Because reading and understanding English is a requirement, the recruiters have limited their searches to third world countries within the EU. great Britain, France, Italy, Spain, and Greece have provided the greatest part of the candidate pool.
Selected candidates much attend and pass a knowledge, skills and achievement course. Since most third world countries don't have a bill of rights for their citizens, candidates are familiarized with them for discussion purposes although they will not be needed in actual practice. Since most candidates will have learned English in British schools or with British teachers, candidates will be required to read a 5 minute news script, with full British Cockney accent, such that the reviewers will not be able to understand anything said.
Reading is an important skill for the news readers, reporters and consultants because all information will be prepared for them and ready for presentation on tele-prompters by the editorial department at the MSM networks, DNC and WH . Candidates should be able to read at the 8th grade level. Analytical skills, common sense and logic are not required and, if displayed, are cause for termination.
Low brain function is an absolute necessity. Upper class candidates and candidates from royalty will have an advantage as these candidates may have come from families that may have married too closely within the family tree. Commoners who had begun drinking Progressive Koolaid from an early age, coupled with exposure to cosmic rays, will have an advantage over those merely beaten over the head with a 2 x 4.
His Arrogance, President Obama, has expedited "Green Card" processing and approval for these candidates. As His Arrogance has said many times, "you just can't have too many lackeys".
Obamanation Counterculture Journalism File
Not bad not bad at all. Mine has some sting to it and comes close to being “scarosanct” if you catch my drift. Particularly at this time...Protest At LA Archbishop Gomez Residence..I don’t post my own stuff
http://www.theusmat.com/natldesksatire.htm
It’s a sad day in America when people like Juan Williams are no longer big enough progressive/liberal assholes to satisfy their hellbound commie masters.
Future News Now—two days early.
Low-information viewer compatible on-air talent.
Songwriters: HENLEY, DON/KORTCHMAR, DANNY:
I make my living off the Evening News
Just give me something-something I can use
People love it when you lose,
They love dirty laundry
Well, I coulda been an actor, but I wound up here
I just have to look good, I don’t have to be clear
Come and whisper in my ear
Give us dirty laundry
Kick ‘em when they’re up
Kick ‘em when they’re down
Kick ‘em when they’re up
Kick ‘em when they’re down
Kick ‘em when they’re up
Kick ‘em when they’re down
Kick ‘em when they’re up
Kick ‘em all around
We got the bubble-headed-bleach-blonde who
Comes on at five
She can tell you ‘bout the plane crash with a gleam
In her eye
It’s interesting when people die-
Give us dirty laundry
Can we film the operation?
Is the head dead yet?
You know, the boys in the newsroom got a
Running bet
Get the widow on the set!
We need dirty laundry
You don’t really need to find out what’s going on
You don’t really want to know just how far it’s gone
Just leave well enough love
Eat your dirty laundry
Kick ‘em when they’re up
Kick ‘em when they’re down
Kick ‘em when they’re up
Kick ‘em when they’re down
Kick ‘em when they’re up
Kick ‘em when they’re down
Kick ‘em when they’re stiff
Kick ‘em all around
Dirty little secrets
Dirty little lies
We got our dirty little fingers in everybody’s pie
We love to cut you down to size
We love dirty laundry
We can do “The Innuendo”
We can dance and sing
When it’s said and done we haven’t told you a thing
We all know that Crap is King
Give us dirty laundry!
Dirty Laundry lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.
*sigh* Beat me to the Piers Moron post.
Every time I see her on TV I test myself to see
how fast I can get to the remote to shut her up.
What is MSM?
Foreign News Readers!
I was watching a TV news program - a ‘Morning Show’ and caught this gem. The news item was on the danger to rinos (small r - real animals) that were being slaughtered for their horns which are highly prized in China. The danger has grown so much that captive rinos in English wild animal parks were being guarded round the clock to prevent them falling victim to this trade.
The double minority employee was aghast at the idea and commented that the animals would be very difficult to get out of the country.
Main Stream Media. You know, the dolts that appear on TV at 6, 12 and 6.
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