I did not know AOL was still a “thing.”
Disrupt the flow of capitalism.
“And IF we try really hard, we can get the Sun to change its orbit to combat Global Warming”
Hey ladies, no reason to be dicks about it.
There are certainly more career damaging messages one could leave, but these are up there. If they want to help women in the workplace, an article on proper business etiquette would have been better.
“Strike “
“Women-identified “
Insanity, promoted by insane people.
“Hello, I’m out today demonstrating to crush capitalism. I’ll be back in time for payday.”
Lol. What a joke this whole thing is.
Ok, help me out here. Was the article supposed to be satire?
If so, it’s quite amusing.
A ‘woman identified person’? WTH?
“Gone to get fitted for a burka and then going with the girls to get stoned.”
“I’m sorry, I’m out of the office today attending a pointless paranoid exercise with a clump of women-identifying persons who collectively have the IQ of a hard-boiled egg. If this is an emergency, please contact George Soros. He paid for the damned thing. And can someone pack my desk and put my things in the lobby so I can pick them up when I come back? They probably won’t let me back in the building.”
Histrionic, self pitying, pathetic nonsense. Yup, they’re libs.
I’m out of the office because I’m getting only 76% of what a man makes, because there’s sales tax on tampons, because I have to wait longer in the bathroom than men, because Trump won and hillary didn’t, and because my boss won’t dare fire me.
Oops, sorry. I just got fired.
You are so clever we will tell you what to say? Ding dong.
I have no interest in going on strike at job or volunteer work. I would rather fulfill my duties than posture politically. I do not want to overthrow capitalism, although I hate its bastard offspring consumerism.
I am not woman-identified nor do I care for people who are. I am a 100% female, feminine, XX woman with estrogen in my veins, and like Syrian Jews or Navaho Indians, I have strict standards for conversion to my tribe. You can’t. You have to be born into it.
However, I would like to let my family know, I am not the only person in the house who can clean up cat barf.
“...This message may be recorded for the benefit of my replacement.”
One response to use for an unexcused absence....
YOU’RE FIRED!
TransAmericans
For those that are curious but don’t want to drive traffic to the link:
1.I’ll be out of the office all day Wednesday in solidarity with women worldwide. You should take a screenshot of this email as it’s now a piece of history. Thanks!
2.I will be out of office all day Wednesday fighting for social justice. I’ll be returning to the office to fight for the same thing but harder on Thursday, March 9.
3.I will be out of the office all day Wednesday striking on behalf of women everywhere, because come on now why do you even need a because.
4.Please forgive any delays in my response time. I’m out of office today at the Women’s Strike and will have access to email but have pledged not to check it until I return. Of course, I will very likely check my email because this whole strike thing makes me very nervous but I will maybe not respond to your email until Thursday morning, assuming I don’t I freak out first. Thanks! Don’t email any more!
5.I will be out of the office on Wednesday, March 8 to participate in the Women’s Strike. If you need immediate assistance, find your nearest benign man and ask him to do it instead.
6.I will be out of office beginning Wednesday March 8 for the Women’s Strike and will do my best not to return.
7.Thank you for your email. Your email is important to me but not nearly as important as striking for women, which is what I’ll be doing today.
8.I will be striking on Wednesday March 8 on behalf of women. If you need to know why I can’t help you so please email someone else.
9.I will be out of office Wednesday, March 8, for the Women’s Strike. If you need me I’ll be wandering around town surrounded by raging older women in pussy hats, so for your own safety, please just contact my boss.
10.I will be out of the office on Wednesday, March 8 in order to destroy the patriarchy. I will return to work to tragically uphold it again on Thursday, March 9.
11.I will be out of office today out of solidarity with all oppressed groups. I will respond to your message when it becomes as important as this.
12.I will be out of the office on Wednesday, March 8, to participate in the Women’s Strike. Please don’t email me because I will feel really compelled to reply because I’m a woman who does her job.
13.Thank for you your message. I will be out of the office on Wednesday, March 8 to make history. If you need me, come join me! We need you there.
If my pasting the items is a violation of any FR rules, please remove this comment.