Posted on 12/28/2016 11:24:58 AM PST by rhett october
Does your wife yell, scream, and swear at you? Do you feel like you can’t talk to anyone about your relationship because they just wouldn’t understand? Is your relationship making you feel like you’re slowly going crazy?
If so, you’re probably involved with a woman who is an emotionally abusive bully. Most men don’t want to admit that they’re in an abusive relationship. They describe the relationship and their wife using other terms like crazy, emotional, controlling, bossy, domineering, constant conflict, or volatile. If you use words like this to describe your relationship, odds are you’re being emotionally abused.
Do you recognize any of the following behaviors?
1) Bullying. If she doesn’t get her way, there’s hell to pay. She wants to control you and resorts to emotional intimidation to do it. She uses verbal assaults and threats in order to get you to do what she wants. It makes her feel powerful to make you feel bad. People with a Narcissistic personality are often bullies.
Result: You lose your self-respect and feel outnumbered, sad, and alone. You develop a case of Stockholm Syndrome, in which you identify with the aggressor and actually defend her behavior to others.
2) Unreasonable expectations. No matter how hard you try and how much you give, it’s never enough. She expects you to drop whatever you’re doing and attend to her needs...
(Excerpt) Read more at marriageradio.com ...
Yours raises a point seldom addressed:
Guys don’t necessarily differentiate between physical vs emotional abuse. Some words are received with the same feelings as being punched. “It’s just words” may be true for some, but not others.
I notice the little “Tranny” addendum down on the scale by #8.
Hence my wife’s words of wisdom.
I consider women to be very dangerous. I mean, I love them, but kinda like a guy that loves Rattlesnakes. Just be careful when you are around them and you’ll do fine.
“No matter how hot she looks, no matter how much you want her, there’s some guy tired of putting up with her crap.”
And if you ever want to see “crazy,” say that to a woman.
I was fortunate that I said over the phone. But it was still interesting.
That depends. Does she grow hemlock or angel trumpet?
LOL, she prefers her Foxglove and Castor Bean plants...:)
She, being an ex-critical care nurse, is someone I listen to even when she is joking.
I think...
No, she’s kindly offering you a way out.
I went to a course, just before the end of my marriage (19 years ago) called “Learning to Live, Learning to love”. It is part of what destroyed my marriage.
The men went to a class and the women went to a separate class. Now, in my class, we used a book that was VERY hard on men and went over all the ways we can be abusive (right down to the “silent knite - abuse through silence”. The exercises would help you to see how you might abuse in certain ways you were not aware of.
But an interesting thing happened. In one case, it asked if the family treated you a certain way. I thought, “nope. But now that I think of it, the family treats HER that way”. But I went on and finished up all the stuff in the lessons. What I learned helped me to this day.
However, one day I went to the women’s class to see what their book was teaching them about women in relationships. THEY WERE USING THE EXACT SAME BOOK. i.e. the men’s class was helping us identify how we were abusing our wives and the women’s class was helping them identify how we were abusing them!
And so much of it was contrived. That is, the “cycle of abuse” created an environment in my marriage where, even if on a lark, I thought it would be nice to get my wife flowers, that was considered part of the cycle of abuse. It was the “kiss and make up phase.” Yep. psychologically, it made giving her flowers abusive.
On a side note, throughout our marriage she would complain about the quality of the flowers I gave her. A missing petal here, a brown spot on a rose there. Sheesh.
If you haven’t watched the video, you should...it is hilarious, especially the “Tranny” part!
I think that is one of the funniest videos on the Internet!
(I had someone tell me they thought the guy in the video resembled ME...)
Yep. I saw it a couple of years ago. I still consider it in the top ten of funniest things on the internet.
And yeah. The tranny part...
LOL! That is one of the funniest videos of all time. First time I saw that I cried for like 15 minutes from laughing so hard
It was as if my ex was watching and responding to some bizarre alternate reality movie playing on the inside of her skull. As the years went by it only got worse.
Being familiar with this EXACT type of individual from a multi-decade long first hand observable family experience, I am surprised that no one has yet pointed out the GLARING OMISSION in this article:
THE PHYSICAL VIOLENCE.
The type of individual described above ALWAYS incorporates physical violence into the above described pattern of behavior.
The victims rarely talk about it because men are ashamed to admit being the victims of it. But it is important to discuss, because physical violence is an important aspect of the controling behavior.
The men who get sucked into this kind of a relationship usually had a mother who exhibited a similar pattern of behavior towards them or their father.
Hence, once the violence starts - and the woman sees that the man will do nothing about it (other than saying he is sorry and begging for a chance to make things better), she knows she can employ violence without any consequence, and then things only get more violent.
Keep in mind, the woman in this type of relationship has an “Ace up her sleeve” - she KNOWS that if the man defends himself, even just by restraining her when she explodes into violence - HE WILL BE THE ONE THAT GETS ARRESTED when the cops come.
So she knows that, (unless she uses some weapon and commits serious injury), she can hit him with impugnity.
And given the relative size difference, she is not likely to cause him such serious injury with only her fists - if some injury is visible on his face, the guy will be loathe to admit to anyone what really happened, because of the embarassment factor.
However, the psychological toll on a man caught in this type of relationship is devastating - ultimately it is a complete loss of his sense of confidence,identity, even personhood. In extreme cases, the wife will suggest to the man who is caught in this web that he should “do everyone a favor and kill yourself”. And some undoubtedly do.
And no one ever talks about it - because of the PC culture we live in. The men victimized by these types of psychotic women have no “support groups”, and they are not likely to be believed. What they are living through is the worst hell on earth you can imagine.
LOL! Some women are terrible at picking a mate. My second husband is not perfect, but then, neither am I. We may both be a little crazy, but we’re kind to each other, are madly in love, and both thank God every day for bringing us together. (My first husband, an OCD insanely jealous (for absolutely NO reason) possessive nightmare, has purposely remained unmarried for the last twenty one years, so he can play the victim, and tell everyone I ruined his life)
My mother and father fought like cats and dogs for a good portion of their life. My mother was Armenian/Italian, and my father was French/Scottish/English.
You get one guess who was the hair on fire, blazing-hot-poker in hand screamer, and who was the unflappable, quiet, never raising the voice side...:)
My parents did make it to the end of their lives without divorcing, though there were many “almosts” in there. Years later, when my mother talked about it, her eyes would blaze and she would say “No matter what I said or did, that B*****D would just sit there with his cigarette and cup of coffee, and never say a word, knowing full well it would make me madder and madder!”
She would say this, getting madder and madder, then take a puff on her cigarette and smirk...and say with some affection: “He sure did know how to push my buttons, and I could never push his!”
My dad passed on first, and is buried in Arlington. She went a few years later, and is buried on top of him for eternity...much to the amusement of his children!
Women marry men expecting them to change.
Men marry women hoping they won’t.
Well said!
If it’s one thing I learned from my first marriage, you can’t make a man change. What I learned from my second marriage -— God can.
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