Why So Many Women Cheat on Their Husbands

New York Magazine ^

[Celerity]

Eh.. “Ok” I guess.

I do more of the Labor than she does. Cook, clean and work to pay the bills. I also spend more time with our little one.

In her defense, she is starting her own business and has been struggling with that for years. We’re still working to find out how to be financially independent while giving our kids a quality family life.

In a modern world, such a primitive goal is actually kinda tough.

[AppyPappy]

“Women today feel entitled to cheat because they do most of the housework.”

It has nothing to do with it. The women I knew who cheated were simply interested in cheating. Their husbands had nothing to do with it. It’s the same with men.

The difference is that I have never known a woman who cheated because her husband withheld sex from her but I have known men who did.

[CodeToad]

Women are attention seekers. They can’t live without someone giving them attention. There is so much porn on the Internet not because there is so much demand but because there is so many girls looking for attention.

If you want a girl to take off her clothes you only need to have a camera.

[Big Red Badger]

Cheaters going to Cheat.

[rb22982]

Both unmarried and married men. If you read the men blogosphere and some of the research done by plenty of fish, women are increasingly sleeping with a smaller batch of men - roughly the top 10-15% of men. Those men are having sex with more women than ever while the next 25-40% are having less. So it’s actually not unrealistic to believe women have gone up and men has stayed the same - the women are just sleeping with the same men. I know one guy who sleeps with ~50 different women a year (he’s single)!

[rb22982]

Women today feel entitled to cheat because they do most of the housework.

I'd be happy to trade positions with my wife. She does most of the housework, has no job and we have no kids. I work 50-60 hrs/week, do some housework and manage all of our finances (including active investments like rental properties which are a lot of work to self manage). If I could have my wife make $300k/yr and I could sit at home, I'd make sure the house was always spotless and cook every single meal.

[rb22982]

A good buddy of mine had that happen to him, except it was his wife of less than a year. He’s the only one of our close friends that has gone through a divorce (most of the rest of us have been married 10-13 years), surprisingly, and he even offered to forgive her if she said she wouldn’t do it again.

[rb22982]

And in a divorce, they walk away with half, alimony, child support, etc. Not surprising fewer and fewer men want to get married.

[Albion Wilde]

Women who cheat do so because they can while still counting on being given the family / house / money in a divorce.

You are correct that the "no-fault" divorce system has enabled cheating. But it goes both ways. Under "no-fault", joint custody is imposed even if one partner, often the male, wakes up one day and "discovers" he is gay, and then the children have to be transported to Fred and Steve's every other week and there is nothing the innocent wife can do to stop it. The moral dimension of marriage and the idea that parents are to be role models of moral behavior or suffer consequences such as losing influence over their children because they cannot uphold their vows and be a moral parent goes right out the window with no-fault. Cheaters of either sex get away with anything and still make the other spouse's life a misery until the children are emancipated.

Under "no-fault", the partner with the most money to pay lawyers becomes the "winner" and the one who has invested more time in the marriage, home and children is usually the "loser." Sometimes judges make the spouse with higher income pay the legal bills of the one who stayed home or worked part time so he or she could take care of the kids, but often they don't; and that home-making partner will get the shaft.

God hates divorce.

[rb22982]

No, under no fault divorce, the woman nearly always wins. They get primary custody 95% time and hence also child support. THey also get alimony at a rate of roughly 20:1 compared to men. If my wife left me today, in the great state of SC, I’d be paying her ~$60k/year FOREVER - for 11 years of marriage (0 kids)

[Albion Wilde]

Except it's women who file for divorce 70% of the time.

That is a misleading statistic unless you know the reasons why. Regardless of changing times, it is still the case that more men cheat (or get caught at it) than women; therefore more women file for divorce. Judges are often more lenient with men who start "dating" and having women stay over in front of the children while they are only separated and not divorced; but will punish a woman for having a new man before the divorce is final. Times are changing, but many people still cling to double standards. If those people are lawyers, judges, pastors or in-laws, it's usuall the man whom they indulge with getting away with cheating.

[rb22982]

Not according to this article, this article. And men aren't cheating anymore now than 50 years ago, but the ratio of who initiated the divorce has soared towards women in the last 50 years.

[Interesting Times]

I’ll take “Self-Serving Rationalizations” for $800, Alex.

[anton]

Women cheat on their husbands for three reasons:

1. Passive aggressive behavior toward the husband;

2. Hot pants; and

3. Cognitive dissonance. (They feel like a slut so they have to act it out to overcome the discomfort from the dissonance.

[jetson]

From a guy who had been divorced five times told me

" They are all crazy, can't trust em."

[Albion Wilde]

Yes. And most conservative women voted for a guy who has had 5 children with 3 different women. So who these women voted for doesn’t really correlate their values.

Both candidates in the last election had various types of marital cheating on their resumes. Why keep hammering on the one who at least has patriotic values for the nation rather than seeking to make the US a marxist gulag? Life isn't perfect. Presidents are human.

The loser candidate seems to be cynically committed to living a lie. The winning candidate learned about marriage the hard way "on the job" and finally found a good one with whom there appears to be a mutual trust and love that has lasted so far 20 years.

If you read the biographies of people who live much of their lives in the public eye, you will often find a pattern of two or even three very short marriages, followed by the one that lasts 30 or 40 years. It's not Biblically desirable and the heartbreak is severe all around; many people affected whether it's the ex-spouse(s) or the kids can never fully forgive; but Jesus has already paid the price for every sin except rejection of the Holy Spirit. Jesus can forgive the regretful and repentant ex-cheater.

If a person is one of the lucky ones in life whose circumstances provided a healthy and lasting marriage from the get-go, consider those circumstances a gift and a blessing from God, not necessarily the proof of superior morality on his or her part. Some people do not have fortunate circumstances and suffer terribly from not having a good marriage.

Consider the generations of European women whose men were killed off in World Wars I and II. Europe is still a mess because of the disorder caused by the excess of three generations of unfulfilled women in that last century. In this country, the draft during the ten years of Vietnam picked off or harmed many of the manliest men for the group of women who graduated high school and college in the 60s and only had the remaining 4-Fs and bisexuals to choose a husband from, just when the Pill and feminism's promise of "equal pay" and "independence" were also hitting the scene. We are seeing the results now.

[Albion Wilde]

And the alternative was an abortionist, communist, gun-control-freak, dishonest, homosexual, anti-patriotic hell-bitch openly bent on destroying America. I think Donald Trump's utter lack of fidelity to marriage was a very small issue in the grand scheme of things.

Couldn't have said it better. And, at least he married his flames. The one he has ended up with is a good one, like his mother -- someone who understands him and supports him instead of trying to compete with him like the first one or being an attention-seeking homewrecker like the second one.

[Albion Wilde]

“Is she now a “former” GF?”

Oh, yes. 14 years of dating.

There's the problem right there, as your post went on to explain. Fourteen years without putting a ring on it, and you were shocked that she finally met someone else? Wow.

You seem to have figured most of it out since then, except for still resenting her for her straying from a relationship that was probably involving sex relations outside marriage, or was not sexual but had gone on for 14 years with no commitment to marry. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

[mountn man]

The numbers on infidelity are close enough to even.

57% of men who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they’ve had.
54% of women who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they’ve had

22% of married men ADMIT to having an extra marital affair.
14% of women ADMIT to having an extra marital affair.

Men get the rap of being a louse (which they are)

Women rationalize it as "he drove me to it".

Women file for divorce almost 70% of the time.
OF THESE...89% are women who have a Bachelors degree or higher.

When it comes to non marriage relationships, the numbers are virtually even, of who breaks it off.

As far as physical or emotional abuse...

1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been the victims of physical abuse by a partner.

[miss marmelstein]

I don’t believe an unmarried couple can ever “cheat.” There is no commitment so there is no infidelity. Any woman who lets a relationship go on for 14 years without a ring, is a sap.