Nobody who has read your hostile rantings could possibly believe that.
With regard to the surely quite rare LDS intruder, to whom you ever so "jokingly" refer to as a "moron" and who knocks on your door precisely at dinner time, simply ask someone to make for you a handwritten sign asking any and all who dare to invade your domain to cease and desist....
And who are you to tell me that I have to "opt out" of door to door harassment???? You people should stick to selling the Mormon church in places where people CHOOSE to hear you. You may not realize it, but most of America considers the door knockers to be similiar to the moonies in their attempts to convert. THAT IS THE REP THE DOOR TO DOOR MISSIONS HAS GIVEN THE MORMON CHURCH.
Many religions have reformed.... the mormon church has reformed many times, perhaps you and yours should try to end the harassment of the unwilling. Personally, I think it will happen. The mormon church teaches great morals and produces good hard working Americans... who will eventually learn to behave in a civilized manner. If not, then let loose every demonination under the sun to knock on your doors. If every group did that .... nobody would sleep.