[longtermmemmory]

I have it!!!!

Video tape the service and once a week rent the service from blockbuster video club.

How about a concesion DURING THE SERVICE? like a baseball game.

Or just before communion is offered. The congregation does THE WAVE!

wait there's more we can do:

take out the dusty old hyms and put in rave music.
forget candles they are so 1st century, we now use glow sticks!

Priestly robes out, liberache rhinestones in (keeping with present state of priests)

No more chanting, instead priests RAP (get those young people)

a drive through communion.

automated confession machine which has pre-programed penitance.

an electronic sign ticker which has the postings of football/baseball/hockey games to keep you informed during the service.

Admission/cover charge to enter for service.

a full liquor bar with pew drink service.

last but not least the service will be cut to 15 minutes flat with a count down clock to conclusion.

[Desdemona]

With the exception of the full bar (2-1, Bombay-Vermouth, two olives, straight up please) don't give them any ideas.