And the testimony is this, that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has the life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have the life. These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know that you have eternal life. [1 John 5:11-13]
Assurance comes from knowing we have the Son. This is practically carried out by God's "down payment" of the Holy Spirit.
In Him, you also, after listening to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation—having also believed, you were sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is given as a pledge of our inheritance, with a view to the redemption of God’s own possession, to the praise of His glory.[Eph 1:13-14]
We can have assurance of salvation now because it is God who preserves!
Your second question concerns God's criterion. He is explicit about these...
for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. [Phil 2:13]
And finally you ask, "Is it fair... The answer is "by definition" of God. Paul writes,
You will say to me then, "Why does He still find fault? For who resists His will?" On the contrary, who are you, O man, who answers back to God? The thing molded will not say to the molder, "Why did you make me like this," will it? Or does not the potter have a right over the clay, to make from the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for common use?[Rom 9:19-21]
God as Creator to do as He wills with us. Don't like it? Create your own universe. Can't? Be pleased that we have a God who is not capricious/whimsical but the epitome of love and justice. You can be sure that those who end up in Hell will be deserving. Those who God saves, He does by grace and mercy. Since Christ paid their debt, God is completely just. This is the point of Rom 9.
I read Rev. 13:8 as referring to the Lamb that was slain from the foundation of the world (prophecy), not the Book of Life as being from the foundation of the world.
3. What was God's predestination selection criteria? "Eph 1:5 Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will," Oh, so God just decided "you" will be saved and "you" won't, randomly, on a whim? Sorry, but I don't believe God wants ANYONE not to be saved. I believe the "good pleasure of His will" is that all will come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. (I refer again to 2 Peter 3:9, which has been discussed and interpreted abundantly.)
So why do I need to share the gospel with anyone if their salvation has already been decided? Seems to me it's already a done deal. Why does God need me to share His love if salvation has already been decided?
Mom, YOU'RE the one who keeps asking everybody, "is God fair". You tell me.
I don't need assurance of salvation. I HAVE assurance of my salvation based on what God's Word says about how to be saved. (John 3:16, Romans 10:9-10, 1John 5:11-13) I would just like to know how Mom is so sure of HER salvation since she believes God seems to pick and choose who will be saved randomly, at will.
Those who end up in hell will be deserving because God gave them the choice to accept Him or reject Him. They chose the latter.
I was saved by God's grace and mercy. Christ paid my debt, God is completely just. This is the point of Rom 9.
Ephesians 2:8 "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God". I praise God for the gift of salvation through my faith in His Son, Jesus Christ and what He did when He died for me.
Yes, I believe God is sovereign, just and fair. Do I understand EVERYTHING? No, I don't, but I believe God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die for my sins and because I believe that, I have eternal life with Him. That's what matters.
whim·si·cal adj.
1. Determined by, arising from, or marked by whim or caprice. See Synonyms at arbitrarywhim n.
1. A sudden or capricious idea; a fancy.
2. Arbitrary thought or impulse: governed by whim.ar·bi·trar·y adj.
1. Determined by chance, whim, or impulse, and not by necessity, reason, or principle: stopped at the first motel we passed, an arbitrary choice.
2. Based on or subject to individual judgment or preference: The diet imposes overall calorie limits, but daily menus are arbitrary.
3. Established by a court or judge rather than by a specific law or statute: an arbitrary penalty.
4. Not limited by law; despotic: the arbitrary rule of a dictator.arbitrary
\Ar"bi*tra*ry\, a. [L. arbitrarius, fr. arbiter: cf. F. arbitraire. See Arbiter.] 1. Depending on will or discretion; not governed by any fixed rules; as, an arbitrary decision; an arbitrary punishment.
According to the normal usage of the English language the Calvinistic view of God is the very picture of whimsy.