I remember at one point that you said something about that we didn't have a soul and that there really wasn't a heaven? This, you need to get past.
There is a heaven, but there aren't a whole lot of people in it now. People don't exist after they die - this is scriptural. At the first resurrection, the elect will reign with Christ or 1000 years, then the second resurrection will occur as well as the judgment. The just will be saved and the wicked will be destroyed. Reading the Bible without this basic knowledge of the reality of life creates much division and confusion.
Sad. I'll pray that the Lord opens your understanding. You exist right now in the spiritual world, although you are not conscience of it. If that weren't the case, we would instantly perish.