Well, I can't answer any of these questions. I am a Calvinist only because I can read the Bible from left to right and not right to left. I've never been in any "Calvinist" church; I never read "Calvinist" works. And it used to bother me that I was the only one who seemed to see that the Lord really is Sovereign. In fact, the only churches I have ever been a member is a near Universalist Arminian Episcopalian (where the rector was very good at selecting his wines for the communion) and the church I attend now (the grape juice and plastic cup variety).
The Arminian Baptist churches I attended wouldn't even let me join unless I did things their way.
May I ask why you havent attended a Calvinist church?