Charles Stanley Situation

4/4/02 | Dryman

[Dryman]

This is a simple inquiry into Reverend Stanley's position in his Church. A year and 6 months ago a stink was raised about him staying on as pastor after he and his wife split. What became of this situation? As you might know I have been out of touch with this forum for some time and am now only able to log back in.

Please accept my post for the vanity it is and accept my apologies in advance. Spam on (If that is necessary.)

[Sci Fi Guy]

I believe that he has remained as pastor. I think that his son resigned on principle. I wish he had resigned from the leadership of the church, he could have assumed the role of a lay-evangelist. I believe that the Scripture passage against divorced leaders applies to those who hold positions of leadership, not those in ministry. Because we are all called to some form of ministry.

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

Is this pastor an author? I think I recall seeing or perhaps reading a book by a man with this name.

[ChuteTheMall GawdSortaMount]

Dr. Charles Stanley has written many books and has both a nationally syndicated TV program and radio show.

http://www.intouch.org/

[11th Earl of Mar]

Stanley promised to resign if his marriage failed. After his wife finally left, he reconsidered and asked to stay. The church allowed him to stay, even though his son, a minister on his staff, resigned over the issue. But his was probably a year ago. I don't know what has happened since.

[DittoJed2]

There is some question though as to whether or not the passage in Timothy is really about divorce. "Husband of one wife" is problematic. Alternative theories are 1)Polygamy (which was practiced but not widely) 2)a faithful spouse. There was a word Paul could have used that specifically meant "divorce." He did not use that phrase. If you take the passage too literally, a widower who has has remained single or remarried and a single man can not pastor either.

[11th Earl of Mar]

'In Touch' Teacher Charles Stanley Divorced, Stays On As Senior Pastor

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TV and radio Bible teacher Charles Stanley, a former president of the Southern Baptist Conference (SBC), is divorced. His 44-year marriage ended in a Georgia court earlier this month. Anna Stanley had filed for divorce on the grounds that the marriage was "irretrievably broken," reported "The Atlanta Journal-Constitution."

The 67-year-old "In Touch" broadcaster will remain as senior pastor at First Baptist Church, Atlanta--a position he has held since 1972. The congregation stood and applauded when this was announced, the newspaper reported. "We hate it that things like this happen, but our church is moving right along," said Jerry Beal, vice chairman of the church's board of deacons.

The Stanleys had first separated in the early 1990s, but she later halted divorce proceedings. Stanley's son, Andy, left his post as senior associate at the time, citing concerns about his father's leadership, the "Journal-Constitution" said. Stanley told a church meeting in 1995: "If my wife divorces me, I would resign immediately."

SBC president Paige Patterson said that the divorce "ought to be a wake-up call for America that if something like this can happen to the Stanley family, it shows how much society has lost its bearings."

In a current article at his "In Touch" Web site commenting on a recent pastors conference he spoke at, Stanley says: "I think one of the things people in the church mistakenly think is that pastors don't go through different trials and tests. Pastors, like anybody else, need to be encouraged."

[sitonit]

Stanley should leave his position. If a man can not keep his home in order,he should not be leading a church.

[11th Earl of Mar]

[both articles from CharismaNews ]

Charles Stanley Learns Compassion From His Failed Marriage

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Facing the end of his 44-year marriage, Charles Stanley believes he is a better pastor for the personal pain he has experienced. The 67-year-old pastor of First Baptist Church in Atlanta, whose messages are broadcast nationwide on television and radio, says that compassion is the primary lesson he has learned from his divorce.

"I've had lots of people who said: 'I couldn't listen to you because you couldn't understand. Now you understand,'" Stanley told the "Charlotte (N.C.) Observer." "When I talked about pain before, I didn't know what I was talking about." Stanley declined to talk in detail about the breakup of his marriage, saying he is barred from doing so by the court, but told the "Observer" that if his wife were to ask him, he'd gladly resume their life together.

Stanley's divorce spawned a national debate about whether or not he should retain his pulpit. When he decided to stay on as pastor, he was criticized openly, including by Charles Colson on the apologist's national radio program. Stanley told the "Observer" that branding men and women whose marriages end without sin is wrong. "Things happen in people's lives," he said. "Things they can't control."

[Iowegian]

"I've had lots of people who said: 'I couldn't listen to you because you couldn't understand. Now you understand,'" Stanley told the "Charlotte (N.C.) Observer." "When I talked about pain before, I didn't know what I was talking about."

Boy, what a cop-out. Why then, don't we encourage the clergy to have affairs and divorce so that they can better relate to the issues of the masses? Total Barbara Streisand.

[DittoJed2]

You don't know the whole story here. I think Anna had some emotional problems. Part of this was due to Stanley's being so involved in church work but part was due to death threats made against them. She saw a psychiatrist for a while who I have heard was not one inclined to lead her towards reconciliation. People make choices that others can not control. She chose to end their marriage though he wanted to save it. This doesn't say he was an innocent lamb in all of this, but when her mind was made up (for two years before their separation she didn't really attend church) it was made up. You can't lay the blame on him entirely for not holding his house together.

[drstevej]

I was baptized by Dr. Stanley 30 years ago. He wrote a reference for me to Dallas Seminary and provided wise counsel for key decisions I have faced.

During the process that led to his becoming pastor of First Baptist of Atlanta he was offered an envelope of cash if he would leave town and not take the position. He also had a deacon try to punch him out at a business meeting.

I have often wondered whether these events (shabby treatment by professing church leaders) had an enbittering impact on his wife regarding the church and perhaps was one of the wedges in their relationship.

I respect Andy for his willingness to hold to principle / convictions even if it meant separating from his dad's ministry.

[DittoJed2]

I think that Dr. Stanley's biggest error was in promising to step down. The Bible does not say a divorced man can not be a pastor. Even if you take "husband of one wife" to mean divorce, then he still has only had one wife. Andy did stand on principle, but he also hurt his dad I believe in doing so. The whole situation was very sad.

[DittoJed2]

Dr. Stanley didn't have an affair. That wasn't his wife's beef. I think he was too devoted to the ministry and there were other emotional problems involved.

[DittoJed2]

Also, I don't think it is a cop out. I heard a very prominent figure in Southern Baptist ranks once say that divorced people are no longer eligible to do pastoral counseling. I think it depends on the person. In one sense they may be more qualified if they have learned from their mistakes and can counsel others not to follow in their steps. Unfortunately, divorce is one of those issues that Christians like to club their wounded with. Sometimes, a person is divorced against their will. Yet, we castigate them just as if they are the guilty party. Dr. Stanley did not have an affair. I think their separation was like 5 years or something like that. He went through counseling I think and tried to work it out, but she still wanted to leave. This should not disqualify him from pastoring. He shouldn't have promised to step down and then go back on his word, but I'm glad he is in the pulpit.

[Iowegian]

Dr. Stanley didn't have an affair.

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that he did. I was being absurd to prove a point, not to impune Dr. Stanley.

[DittoJed2]

Sorry for taking you wrong. Just want the record clear that the parties involved have stated that there was no other woman. I think the "other" involved was the church and Anna's difficulties with Charles's involvement therein. Of course, I'm not in the Stanley family so don't know the nitty gritty details. However, I have met Dr. Stanley and have spoken to others who know him and they say even through all of this he is still very much the gentleman. Still, very much Dr. Stanley.

[Iowegian]

It is a very tragic situation, as is always the case in divorce. I would think he should be able to keep his TV and radio broadcasts at least. But I'm not sure about Pastoral duties and direct counseling, it just doesn't seem right to me.

[PayNoAttentionManBehindCurtain]

What do you think of the Southern Baptists churches today, are they going liberal, are they worth staying in?

BigMack

[DittoJed2]

I think it depends on the situation. A habitual divorcer who learns nothing is not fit to counsel. But divorced people often have an insight that non-divorced don't. They understand failure in a way that non-divorced don't and if the Holy Spirit has been working in them they can point others to the One who can help them overcome failure and live in victory better than those who have never been there. As I said above, the "husband of one wife" passage is very problematic. It may not mean divorce at all. We tend to give it that meaning and then ignore the other injunctions for leadership in the rest of the passage. Deacons with disobedient children shouldn't deacon, for example. We don't harp on that much. Husband of one wife also means that widowers and singles can't pastor, if you take that to be the absolute standard. And if it is the absolute standard and a person who divorces and remarries has two wives, then the divorced person who doesn't remarry is still the husband of one wife though legally the marriage is severed.