I have been drawn, somehow, into thinking perhaps that the unidentified other disciple in John. Whom Jesus loved, who leaned against his breast at the Last Seder, who ran faster than Peter to get to the empty tomb, of whom Jesus said " If I will that he tarry till I come, what [is that] to thee?" was You. Or me. Or any disciple of the word. The nameless disciple is an invitation to step into the Gospel, to be there.
If you could be anyone, wouldn't you want to be him?
And it is interesting to me that the very last earthly accomplishment of Jesus was to say to that very disciple "Behold thy mother!"
I think that it's pretty clear that the unamed disciple John is speaking of is himself, ... John.