The Neverending Story (The Christian Chronicles)

Associated Press ^ | 3/24/01

[malakhi]

The Neverending Story
An ongoing debate on Scripture, Tradition, History and Interpretation.

Statesmen may plan and speculate for liberty, but it is religion and morality alone which can establish the principles upon which freedom can securely stand. The only foundation of a free constitution is pure virtue. - John Adams

Previous Thread

[SoothingDave]

I didn't realize it was out on video yet. I'll have to rent it (for the kids, of course ;o).

But when the kids fall asleep, you keep watching it. ;-)

On the DVD, there's a second disk that has some "outtakes" that are pretty funny.

Oh, and during the closing credits, there's a silly song after the main song, about how this song is being sung under the credits, but it doesn't have anythign to do with the movie.

[malakhi]

Heheh... I love Veggie Tales. My favorite character is Pa Grape.

[malakhi]

E-mailed to me by my brother...

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide.

Let's see now........................

No Wal-Mart, No television, No cheerleaders, No baseball, No football, No basketball, No hockey, no golf, No tailgate parties, No Hooters, No Home Depot, No BBQ, No pizza, No hot dogs, No burgers, or even frozen fish sticks.

Rags for clothes and towels for hats. Constant wailing from the guy next-door because he's sick and there are no doctors. Constant wailing from the guy in the tower. No chocolate chip cookies. No Christmas.

More than one wife.

You can't shave. Your wives can't shave. You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung.

The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times. Your bride is picked by someone else. She smells just like your donkey.

But your donkey has a better disposition.

Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better!

I mean, really, is there a mystery here?

[RobbyS]

Oremus:

May the Lord support us all the day long,
till the shades lengthen and the evening comes,
and the busy world is hushed.
and the fever of life is over,
and our work is done.
Then in his Mercy
may he give us a safe lodging,
and a holy rest,
and peace at the last. Amen

J.H. Newman

[SoothingDave]

More from The Corner, an anti-American email circulating in Britain (There's a few funny bits):

ARE YOU AN AMERICAN? 1. You decide that the relationship with your partner is over. How do you break the news you are leaving? (a) Leave a tearful note on the table and slip quietly away (b) Calmly discuss the reasons with your partner for your decision (c) Attack them with a chair in front of a rabble of cheering pumped-up inbreds on national television.

2. You and your mates decide to have a game of football in the park.What do you need to take? (a) A ball (b) A ball and 2 coats (c) A ball 50 crash helmets, 4 tons of body armour,20 cheerleaders, a marching sousaphone band with a grand piano on a trolley, and a team of orthopaedic surgeons specialising in spinal injuries.

[SD: Didn't I just say this the other day? Of course, I meant it in a good way]

3. You are driving along a country road when you accidentally run over a rabbit. What do you do? (a) Stop and see how badly injured it is, taking it to a vet if it is still alive (b) Carry on driving, but hope it is still alive, or if not, that it died quickly (c) Strap it across the bonnet of your car and drive home hollering, whooping and throwing empty Budweiser cans out of the window.

4. You wake up in the morning with a stiff neck after sleeping in an awkward position. What do you do? (a) Ignore it. It will probably loosen up as the day progresses (b) Take a couple of aspirins and get on with things. (c) Take yourself to a prostitute-addicted TV evangelist faith healer in an ill-fitting wig, who will lay his hands on your head, whilst screaming about the devil in front of an audience of gibbering inbreds.

5. What do you have for breakfast? (a) A bowl of Cornflakes, slice of toast and a mug of tea (b) Glass of orange juice, croissant and a cup of coffee (c) A bag of donuts with ice cream, a 32 ounce steak with six eggs sunny side-up, fifteen pancakes with maple syrup, ten waffles, five corn dogs and a diet root beer.

[SD: I hate wimpy "Continental" breakfasts, but this is funny.]

6. You and your partner decide to take the plunge and get married. What sort of ceremony do you have? (a) A quiet party with a few friends in a registry office (b) A church service followed by a traditional reception at a hotel (c) A minute long mockery at a 24 hour drive-through chapel in LasVegas, presided over by a transvestite vicar dressed as Elvis.

7. Your 14-year-old son is going through a difficult phase, becoming disruptive at school and reclusive at home. What do you do? (a) Don't worry. Its just a phase and will pass. (b) Encourage him to get out more, get involved in team sports or join a youth club. (c) Take him to an armoury and buy him an arsenal of semi-automatic weapons and enough ammunition to slaughter a small town.

8. You fancy a night in watching something funny on TV. What kind of comedy do you choose? (a) A sitcom like Fawlty Towers or Father Ted (b) A sketch show like the Two Ronnies or the Fast show (c) A thinly disguised morality play set in a massive lounge where the audience whoop for ten minutes every time an overpaid actor with a superglued grin on his face makes an entrance to deliver a lightweight wisecrack.

[SD: Huh? Cheers was a "thinly disguised morality play"?]

9. Whilst getting ready for bed, you stub your toe on your wife's dressing table. What do you do? (a) Shout and swear a bit, after all, it did hurt (b) Make a mental note to move the table so it doesn't happen again (c) Immediately call a hotshot lawyer with an uptown reputation, and sue your wife's ass.

10. You are responsible for the USA's presidential electoral process. Do you: (a) Count all votes and declare a winner (b) Count all votes and declare a winner (c) Let the press declare who's won before the votes are counted; then count only the votes which have been handed in by a deadline whilst not checking if Bud, the hillbilly sheriff of nowheres-ville, has left several thousand votes in the trunk of his Chevy 'by mistake', then force a recount of only some of the votes within just one state and allow only 12 seconds for the recount to take place; then be amazed that the recount hasn't finished by the deadline and increase the deadline by another 3.2 seconds; then ignore all votes and let 4 judges decide the result, making sure the judges all support the same candidate; then ponce around the world telling other countries how to run their own elections.

Answers... If you answered: Mostly (a)'s & (b)'s then you are a normal well-balanced individual. Mostly (c)'s then do the world a favour and shoot yourself with the anti-tank weapon you carry in the glove-box of your pick-up truck.

[Quester]

The Brits ... humourless ? Obviously not.

Yet ... I can't help thinking ... that this sounds like ... American humor.

[al_c]

If you haven't met "If you Give a Mouse a Cookie" yet, you will soon.

That and the rest of the books in the series.

Yeah, we got "The Very Hungry Caterpiller" too, Dave. That's always been one of Hannah's favorites. We're blessed with a motherlode of kids books. Mrs. al_c was a teacher for 12 years in her previous life (before becoming a mommy). So now whenever we need new reading material, I just crawl up into the attic and find another box to dig through.

[al_c]

Good post, Robby. I'm saving that one. :o)

[al_c]

A minute long mockery at a 24 hour drive-through chapel in LasVegas, presided over by a transvestite vicar dressed as Elvis.

LOL! I worked with a couple in Austin that did just that, sans the transvestite part. But he was dressed as Elvis!

But really, Dave ... what does this have to do with religion discussions? ;o)

[al_c]

Brits do have some humor, but they need to learn how to spell. "Favour?" Puh-leeze. ;o)

[SoothingDave]

Brits do have some humor, but they need to learn how to spell. "Favour?"

They talk funny, too. And are as pale as you can get, but God love 'em anyway.

SD

[al_c]

But they think WE talk funny! Worked with a few folks from there and a number of them were on my soccer team. One night at a scrimmage, one of 'em told me I sound like a hick. I simply said, "Well you sound like a limey ... let's play some futbol." He never called me a hick again. I guess they don't like that term much.

Speaking of the way they talk, it was interesting working with a number of them as they were from different areas of England. You can really hear a difference in the way each of them talk, much like it is here in the States.

[SoothingDave]

Speaking of the way they talk, it was interesting working with a number of them as they were from different areas of England. You can really hear a difference in the way each of them talk, much like it is here in the States.

But much more concentrated. I've read that the pronunciation of just a few words can place you darn near to the exact block in London. I like the English movies that give us subtitles for the very thick accents.

SD

[al_c]

How true. I remember 2 of the guys in particular. They were from areas not that far from each other, but the difference in the way they spoke was very notable.

[SoothingDave]

When I was stranded in Germany for a couple weeks, there were some Brits who helped keep me sane. Well, really just the one. He was a "boss type" and the others were young laborers. We would sit and talk at length over a beer without difficulty. He sounded much like a BBC announcer, and my accent is not far off of "Standard American TV guy."

But the guys he was with were definitely different.

SD

[trad_anglican]

the Veggie Tales movie "Jonah"

We rented it a while back and one of the discs got lost so we ended up buying it from the video store. Little Trad loves the menu screen. He doesn't watch the movie but will watch the menu screen over and over and over. He never tires of it. We recently found the other disc and could now return it and get our money back but it would break LT's heart. I can't bring myself to take it back. I'd miss the look of perfect joy on his face every time the pickle guy zaps the screen.

[RobbyS]

Is the pilot from Texas?

[CindyDawg]

You see the British reporter today on Fox? Our military guys on their bellies with their rifles ready if a sniper showed up. The guy was going down the row, tapping them on the shoulder, asking questions. He got is mic cord tangled around one of them.

[malakhi]

Ping!

[SoothingDave]

I'd miss the look of perfect joy on his face every time the pickle guy zaps the screen.

Cucumber. He ain't been pickled yet!

SD