What does it mean exactly to “forgive”?
Forgiveness is to release someone from the debt or obligation they owe you from when that person harmed you.
Practicality, as it lives out ..in real life;
1-you never bring it up to them again
2-you never bring it up to others
3-you never bring it up to yourself
The key is to release them from their debt.
They will never know the debt they owe you and they can never repay it. For reference, please read Matthew 18 and the parable of the merciful servant. He had no idea the amount he owed and it was an utterly unpayable debt. It is a perfect picture of us, in front of our Holy God (the king in the parable) and our relationship to him, in light of our relationship to others (the fellow servants in the parable). Specifically and in context, the parable is addressed to Jesus’s followers and how to treat other followers.
In the parable, it is the one who doesn’t forgive who ends up in prison and tortured. Given a pause to contemplate this, it is true. The ones who harm us move along with their lives, often never knowing the damage and harm they caused us and never looking back. It is us as we fail to forgive who are stuck in a prison of our own making as we torture ourselves in unforgiving anger toward the other.
SOMEONE has to pay the price though.
It cannot simply go unpaid.
So who pays the price?
The one who must forgive.
It seems unjust.
Think of all the things we did wrong to others and God, for which we were forgiven.
How can we, in clear conscience withhold the same mercy toward others?
Jesus did that for us. He paid the price He didn’t owe, for a debt to God we cannot even comprehend, or ever pay back with enough good deeds.
So how does this work for us?
Were given some practical keys in Ephesians, at the close of chapter 4;
“30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
V30; Unforgiveness grieves God. He knows how much he forgave you.
V31; Get rid of bitterness (upset) wrath and anger (raging) and clamor (gossip, don’t bring it up), along with malice (the desire and plot to get even with the other person)
V32 just be kind to them and patient. Remember, forgive them as you are forgiven by God.
Treat them like God treats you. As far as East is from west- so far had He removed our sins and He remembers them no more.
Is it difficult? Yes. It’s a constant wrestle early on, but it gets easier as we see the immense mercy and kindness of God upon us.
Is it required of us? Absolutely!
Recall the Lord’s prayer “...forgive us (me) as (in the SAME WAY) as we (I) forgive others.”
Are we rely certain that we want to be forgiven like we forgive others? Most would honestly say “no way!” In this is a call to humility and to repent for not forgiving others with a heart that cries; “I want to do better. I want to forgive. Please help me to walk right God”
I hope this helps to address your question.
His incredible peace to you.