Please. please Ebby, get your Lexapro, nitroglycerin, medical marijuana, tequila and all the other support you can get as the anticipation and anxiety of seems immanent is about to kill you. “Here I come, Elizabeth, it’s the big one.”
And Ebby, in the meantime, before the intoxicants can kick-in, try finding and reading more rational discussions (we all know the term “homosexual” is frenzy inducing for you):
https://freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/4186651/posts
All the above will work.