John 3:16
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
whoever believes. No matter what you have done, you will be forgiven if you just accept his grace. Their is only 1 sin biblically mentioned that one can not be forgiven for, and in my limited understanding that can not occur unless you have already received grace and then willfully, with malice even, blaspheme the Holy Spirit.
You are all over the map.
We are to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. Irreverence is a dealbreaker.