I wouldn’t say...”most” who believe that way are as nasty as you say. The problem is is that such nasty folks are “memorable” and give all of us a bad rap.
Christians are bound for Heaven and those who aren’t Christians are going to hell. The world in general finds such exclusionary talk quite offensive anyway. I agree with you that whether one believes in a pretrib rapture or some “upgathering of living saints with the dead in Christ”” at of the “end of the age”, that we should never be “nasty” to one another and to strive to be at peace with our neighbors.
You’re right - I should have been more charitable. Many, not most.
All I know is I’m trying to be the best Christian/husband/father/neighbor/citizen I can be, without worrying about whether others are going to hell or not.