Posted on 03/14/2021 9:14:07 AM PDT by .30Carbine
I’m reading through everyone’s testimonies again. They are all so powerful and miraculous. I just want to say THANK YOU again for posting yours. It is SO TRUE, and simply and beautifully shared. What a gift.
Thank you for sharing your testimony .30Carbine. And to all who have posted their story of knowing and loving Jesus.
I don’t know how to give a testimony. I really never thought about it until this post came to me. But I am sure that I need to be prepared to share how I came to know John 3:16. Some one told me to open up the bible and start there....I did that and then someone gave me a womens bible. Which is fine(wish I had it 40 yrs ago)
“When you pray, you are talking with God. When you read the bible, God the Father is talking to you.”
Please read the beautiful prayer threads on FR. Maybe you will feel the Holy Spirit move you to do more.
God Bless You. Jesus died on the cross for us all, so we can go to Heaven and live forever with Him.
thank you for your testimony and for sparking this discussion 30cal.
i’ll try to keep it short and too the point, but i have to admit, revisiting that time and before hasn’t been pleasant for me. i’d like to forget about all of it to be honest. there is a lot of the past i didn’t want to reexperience. but, what follows is what i believe was my path from spiritual death to Life, the Truth—the Living God, Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.
i prided myself on being completely unspiritual. i was a “realist.” i styled myself as dependent on no one and contemptious of the weak spiritual and Christian people, like my best friend. i saw around me. intellectually, i never completely rejected God, because i could never completely reject the people of God who kept ties with me, like my best friend who for reasons i didn’t understand then, refused to let me drive him away.
my brother, probably in part due to my selfish attitude, went yard and became a card carrying athiest/progressive. but, i told myself i never wanted to be tied down to anyone or anything, especially marriage. looking back, it was me and my brother ganging up to torturing my poor friend whenever the subject of spirtuality, politics, or Christianity came up. it was awful what we did to him, but he kept faith with us. he told me after i converted that God was the reason he never gave up on me.
in reality back then, i was selfish, isolated and basically clueless about the suffering of people around me, although i would never admit it. to me, i was fine. really a good person who didn’t bother anyone (clueless of course as many others have told me otherwise after my conversion). i was hard-hearted and becoming more loveless year by year. at the bottom of all of that was fear and self-loathing. but of course i couldn’t see that in myself because i didn’t have any truck with the spiritual or even much emotion beyond contempt and sometimes anger at the circumstances and Christian or religious beliefs of the people around me, including my mom who was a buddist and my dad who was, i think, a believer, but not a doer of the faith (i never saw him in church until his funeral). i was withdrawing, really becoming a middle aged loner as the years piled up. still, i was living “the good life” in the eyes of the world. i had it easy—a good education, a good job, good health, making money, and i was doing what i wanted with it.
spiritually, i was the with the walking dead around me. the world, of course, cooperated with me in all of this. but there was always my best friend from HS who remained faithful to me and God through it all, despite the pain i was causing him. he kept inviting me to his church to see his band play (we were both musicians in our youth). but looking back, God had a different plan, which he was about to unleash.
first he brought real love into my life though my wife of now 22 years. she taught me how to love and serve her, and she became precious to me. she wanted children, i of course was indifferent as usual. but, we tried and failed. then she was diagnosed with endometriosis, so we tried the world’s solution surgeries and invitro fertilization. boy, my perfect life was messed up now. that failed when my wife became very ill. then God nearly took her away from me, that’s when you start praying of course, even if you don’t believe. a miracle, new cutting edge surgery and the best surgeon in the world was delivered to us in the nick of time. at that point, i was finally believer in God. you know that amorphous God of the Bible that you hear about that delivers you from trouble. the God the selfish always call on. the selfish me was thankful that, although she had lost her ability to have children (which was nothing to me really), i had not lost her! but she was devastated by that, later having some insight and love, i realized having children was more important to her than me or her even life. and i could see her pining away for children. she brought up adoption which selfish me didn’t want any part of. after all, how would that reflect on me as a man.
i was changing slowly (not like the instant transformation of some Christians), slowly i was learning to be a servant of others. just enough to think finally of someone else, and put them a little above my own interest.
so i agreed to start looking in to adoption. the whole thing from start to finish, was an big ordeal for me, horrible at times, draining in every way, and most of all humbling. i was completely out of my depth and out of control by the end. i had to give up and rely on my friends, others and, gulp, even God to get me and my wife through it. that old pride was going and self-reliance was gone, we needed help and i was asking everyone i could for it. we found a secular agency after trying fostercare, doing our own ad campaign, even asking planned parenthood for help. boy that was another eyeopener for me. they couldn’t careless about adoption, or couples looking to adopt, and you’d think it’d be a natural for them. the world was becoming clearer for me, as God was remaking me. finally i was being rendered teachable, for the first time in my life since childhood.
but then another miracle, a birthmother contacted us (by mistake it turned out, she actually though we were someone else), and we started the process of helping her again. there are of course no guarantees in this process, this all has to be voluntary and we had to accept that. again, we were out of control. we gave the birthmother complete control. we had to trust her and the birth father with our future.
finally the trip to the hospital. we were there, but i had to track down the birthfather and get him there. the birth was difficult (a c-section had to be done). it was an all nighter. we finally went home, awaiting the decision.
two days went by, we thought with sinking hearts they would keep this beautiful baby, maybe it would bring them back together. it was just too much of a sacrifice for them (notice i finally had compassion for some one else—God was working on me, changing me already). but then the word came, eventhough they had named the boy, called him by their last names and got him clothes, they decided to let us adopt!
she brought the baby to us in her wheelchair and handed that precious boy to us at the door of the hospital. at that moment, i was overwelmed with joy, mindful of her great sacrifice, as i received her gift to us. i believed—this was the pure gift of God! my heart was full of sadness for her, but gratitude to her and to God. and then, with this new life in my arms, i realized the grave responsibility God was placing in my hands. i realized how small i was in His grand scheme. i lacking i was in knowledge, really. how foolish i had been, when i though i was wise. anyway, there could be no other explanation, no other way the whole journey could be explained. God had dragged me kicking and screaming to the door and i was finally knocking.
soon after i went to see my faithful Christian friend and his wife from HS. turns out he was overjoyed and mindful of every step along the way, knowing that God was bringing me to Him. that i had become a seeker. later that night my brother came over, he and my friend started in on the same old discussions and arguments. this time i just listened as they talked. i was agreeing with everything my best friend was saying, whereas my brothers talk had become complete nonsense to me. i thought to God, this is my confirmation. my mind had been completely transformed. i was and am 180 degrees different from what i once was. a miracle really. again i thank God that he helped me out of the mire.
i still had (and have) a long way to go, and many struggles ahead in this race to the end. back then, i didn’t even own a Bible yet, or stepped foot into a church except to hear my friend play, but that was day, i really started to live.
You have really stepped out in faith and stretched your wings to do this, redryder_90! That’s a growth spurt that you can be pleased with! John 3:16 is such a wonderful verse to start the Christian journey with (of course its a good verse for the middle and the end, too) -
For God so loved the world,
that he gave his only begotten Son,
that whosoever believeth in him should not perish,
but have everlasting life.
John 3:16
Your best friend's steadfast, immovable love for you during your transformation from darkness to light proved itself by its perseverance! Not only so, but according to the Beatitudes of Jesus, you were causing your friend to be blessed for his endurance under persecution for loving Jesus!
"Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you
and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.
Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven,
for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."
Matthew 5:10-12
God seems to have directed me to this wonderful treatment on suffering by Elisabeth Elliot so I could share it here;
Suffering is Never for Nothing.
(Still reading your worthy post!)
Thank you so, so much for taking the time, the pain, and the work to bring this testimony to the world. Glad I was here to see it.
thank you .30Carbine for your kind words. think i got your handle right this time :). it did, after much prayer and effort, flow out as a story. thank God for it.
in retrospect, this thread is a very good and useful effort for our Lord, despite the pain and suffering it may dredge up for many.
for instance, in your harrowing and terrifying experience, i know it wasn’t easy to relive something like that. in fact, i’d be surprised if you still don’t have some PTSD leftover from that experience. may God continue to give you comfort and peace. but, praise God, your offering of yourself and this thread, will be a big blessing to the Body and maybe some stray seekers on this site. i hope you will periodically repost this thread in entirety for newcomers and pilgrims alike.
and, i’m so glad that you caught the emphasis placed on my loving and faithful best friend. the Spirit was moving me to those memories as i was praying on and researching this task you set me (i had forgotten so much already), because He was indeed the crucial person sent by God for me, to keep replanting that seed, to keep relighting the lamp!
my good friend’s conversion experience is very different from ours, as yours is very different from mine. his was more of a Damascus Jesus moment meets alter call :). but, i’ll let him relate his own.
again thank you and bless you Sister. Your doing the Lord’s work.
But we ought always to give thanks to God for you, brothers beloved by the Lord, because God chose you as the firstfruits to be saved, through sanctification by the Spirit and belief in the truth.
2 Thessalonians 2:13
You know what I noticed about your moniker? You chose “dad” first. That says a lot about who you’ve become and what your new priorities are.
Please share your testimony here.
For God has not appointed us to suffer wrath,
but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Thessalonians 5:9
you are discerning. that’s a gift you have, sister. i think i first signed up about 10 years ago, and God was busy then (and now) using my beloved son everyday to help me be a better dad, husband and Christian.
My brother in law was what we call a GOOD man. He was an Air Force veteran, a farmer who still lived in his hometown and was known and loved by everyone, a man who would give you the shirt off his back, a perfectionist carpenter who built his own house in the 80s, raised his two devoted sons after his first marriage failed, and treated my sister wonderfully during their courtship and marriage.
He would never let me pray or ask grace at meals. He would just pick up his fork and start eating! Or he would actually interrupt me in mid-prayer to ask someone to pass him the gravy. It was so weird that such a nice guy could be so anti-God. He didn’t even drink or smoke.
I found out soon after his marriage to my sister that one of his two brothers had been run over and killed at the age of eight. My BIL hated God (whom he said did not exist) for taking the life of his brother. His whole life he would not forgive God (again, his profession was that there WAS no God, but my BIL hated him nonetheless).
Of course I prayed for his salvation, as I prayed for the salvation of all my family members. God once gave me a message for my BIL. I was scared to deliver it, but I did, in the presence of my dad and sister -
“You hate God for taking your brother. But God wants you to know that he doesn’t take life; instead he devises ways for us to be reunited with our loved ones after death. Your brother is alive and with Christ Jesus to this very day. If you give your live to Jesus you will see your brother again in Heaven.” (See https://biblehub.com/2_samuel/14-14.htm ). There was a bit of shocked silence and then one of them moved the conversation on to other things - they are used to me saying what they consider very strange things!
I gave my BIL the DVD of “Hacksaw Ridge” along with the true life DVD of the life of Desmond Doss https://desmonddoss.com/bio/bio-real.php and then later I gave him the well-produced Steve McQueen movie “American Icon” http://stevemcqueenmovie.com/ . I never tried to talk to him about these afterward, I just figured if he wanted to talk about it, he would bring it up. I never stopped praying.
My BIL was diagnosed with esophageal cancer five years into their marriage. It was hell, but he beat it. There were literally THOUSANDS of people and DOZENS of churches praying for him; he had so many Christian friends, including his best friend from childhood. My BIL became really good friends with his cancer surgeon, that’s the kind of guy he was, just so easy to like and to want to spend time with. The surgeon had moved away to another state but at least twice a year one or the other couple would travel to spend a vacation together with them. He got 10 healthy years before some symptoms started to show up again. He wasn’t very vocal about it, and he waited a long time to go get tested again. My sister was in complete denial.
One night I was over for dinner along with my sister’s son from her first marriage. We were celebrating my birthday, but COVID had started so it wasn’t the big gathering my sister usually put on for any occasion. I had long ago given up trying to say grace at meals.
After dinner my BIL said to me, “I want you to know I own a Bible now.” My sister and nephew pretended they didn’t hear, and actually moved away from the table.
I was shocked to my toes! My mouth must have hung open! “That’s wonderful!” I said. “Who gave it to you?”
It was the wife of his saved best friend from childhood! That was all the detail I got that night, but later, after he died, I was able to piece the rest of the story together.
My BIL had been listening to “Believe” by Brooks and Dunne. He told his friend’s wife that he “couldn’t stop” listening to it, that in fact he had started raising his arms in the air and bowing his head while he listened to it! He asked her what the song meant about “the words in red,” and she bought him a red letter Bible! He kept it on the bay window right next to his favorite recliner.
I never got a chance to be alone with my BIL after that. He finally went to the hospital to get checked and the cancer was of course all through his body and brain by then. He chose to come home to die and it was a beautiful thing to see hundreds of people come to say goodbye, to see his two sons and step-son stay at the house, administer his meds, help him up and down to the john or his recliner, and to comfort my sister.
The night before he died the family had finally convinced everyone trying to visit that it was time to let just the family say goodbye. A niece sort of yelled into my BIL’s fog, “Do you know Jesus, Uncle?” My sister scoffed; she was getting very angry with God (who isn’t there) herself. My BIL was too far gone by then to answer.
I told the story of the song and the Bible to all the family members there, despite my sister’s scoffing. One of the kids pulled the Brooks and Dunne song up on their phone and played it for the whole house to hear. We all wept, you couldn’t help it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5z-jjWyAJQ
My BIL was the LAST person I thought God would be able to save. I was never ever so happy to be wrong.
Your testimony of your brother-in-law is beautiful, .30! It did my soul well to read it. Thank you!
Oh thank you for your reply! May I ask you, please, to pray for the man in my original post, my second husband? I just found out that he has had another stroke and is not likely to survive this time. He had two strokes in quick succession three years ago that actually did kill him but they brought him back to life. I was there with his daughter (from his first marriage, a wonderful lady now) through some long, difficult weeks of recovery at the hospital. At that time he still had not submitted and would not submit to Jesus. Please pray that it is not too late!
I will be more than happy to pray for him. Consider it done, and God bless you, .30.
Hi Carbine!
I just came in to check your thread today. Praying for your second husband’s salvation. Any updates?
Yes, he passed on this morning. I have no assurance of his salvation. I prayed earnestly for him. Nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37). I so appreciate you asking. Thank you for adding your prayers.
May our Jesus come for us today!
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