All I can say is.....if you are troubled, get right with God now.....
...man knows not his time.....
I received the Holy Spirit when God brought salvation to me through Christ Jesus
I was dependent on Him seeking and saving me......
I have literally been in church all of my life........and baptized as a young child
....but didn’t understand Lordship with the Heavenly Father until I was 35
Why should God let me into His Kingdom?.....because I am His child, a sinner saved by Grace...
Redeemed.......Forgiven
.....and every day I am being sanctified, but won’t be fully sanctified till I reach Heaven......because I am a sinner, saved by Grace and like the Apostle Paul says.....
Romans 7:21-25
God loved me when I was unlovely, and unloving......He loved me FIRST!
Maybe I didn’t answer your question......I don’t have all the answers
I walk by faith.......
Amen.