I am ashamed to admit, I suffer with doubt about God more often than I’d like.
But I am certain about one thing....I have more faith in God than I do in humanity.
Being honest enough to admit it should be a
big plus the way I see it.
One thing to keep in mind is we are living on a fallen planet. You won't get a break here.
What we have to figure out as a Christian is many times we doubt because we don't understand God. We think we understand God, but He tells us His ways aren't our ways and they are Higher than our ways. He is looking for people of faith. He told Thomas "Blessed are those that don't see, yet believe." Stay with your first love. There is some reason you decided to follow Jesus in the first place. There is usually some undeniable circumstance that convinced you. The Holy Spirit will place a divine appointment in front of you that will convince you.
We must always keep in mind, the world killed Jesus. The world killed Paul. The world killed Peter. ect. They all chose to follow Jesus unto death. Our faith comes in that life on this rock is NOT the objective. Eternal life with God is the objective. When we come to Jesus we are supposed to lay down our life here and follow God. Many of us go back to the baptismal and drag that old dead body out of the water and give him mouth to mouth. Life down here is about a choice. Choose God or choose the world. God tells us to choose blessing or cursing, death or life. I always thought it humorous that God had to tell us to choose life. If you pray for something and don't get it,...trust God that He has the right answer for you. That's hard when it involved love or death.
The story of the potter and the clay comes to mind. We don't have the right to tell the potter what to do with His clay. The Bride is to submit to the Bride Groom. As we walk with God over the years, we learn that He loves us completely. We live in a bad place and things happen to good people. We all die eventually. Our eternity is what He is consumed by. He only has our good in His heart. When someone tells you to trust Him, do we really? We cannot please Him without faith.
Remember, we can pray for God to increase our faith. If a son asked for bread, would He give him a stone? Ask God to show Himself to you. Ask the Spirit to fill you. Ask for a divine appointment with Him. Set aside a time to listen to praise music. thank Him for what He has done in your life. If we give praise and thanksgiving, He will come into our presence. When people have complaints like yours, they are in need of an experience with the Father. He will strengthen you if you meet with Him.
God bless you and I will pray the Holy Spirit will strengthen you soon.