Read your posts.
I have read my own comments and I think I have shown you great restraint and have considered your ideas...
None of us will ever “arrive”...until we are fitted with our resurrection bodies and see Him as he is! Until then we must all try to live as the living Torah instructs each of our hearts, through our individual circumstances(known as crosses) ...and when we fail, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness!
Now...Go live in peace with His Countenance lifted upon you and live as “THE WORD MADE FLESH” should instruct your heart by His Spirit!